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Workshopping "Boundaries and Determinations" Part 2 - The Wordsmith's Forge — LiveJournal
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
Workshopping "Boundaries and Determinations" Part 2
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eseme From: eseme Date: March 6th, 2011 03:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Awwwwwww, that's a kind of sweet ending.

It's too bad the others would not listen.

I like this poem. I'm not sure what you felt did not work...
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 6th, 2011 05:20 am (UTC) (Link)

Thoughts

>> Awwwwwww, that's a kind of sweet ending.

It's too bad the others would not listen. <<

Sometimes everything you think you know is wrong. Most people can't deal with that, and reject the new information. But some are always open to change, even if it's radical. It helps that not everyone has the same tastes or perceptions, too.

>> I'm not sure what you felt did not work...<<

I wasn't sure about the structure and density. It was so long, I wondered if if was rambling, but I couldn't see a way to condense it without losing important bits. And I wasn't sure how well I'd managed to render this version, coming after the other -- if it was as convincing as I intended. Most people seemed to be okay with it, though.
4 comments or Leave a comment