Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile PenUltimate Productions Website Previous Previous Next Next
The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
Poem: "Shumáad Delineha - Space Flight"
4 comments or Leave a comment
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 7th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I really appreciate the input. I have made the first two changes already.

Regarding the second change, I was considering náwí, but wasn't sure from its etymology ("continue to" + "life") that it fit. I wanted something that would imply expansion or sprouting or transformation. I chose sháadehul ("growth through transcendence") because it seemed like the better fit for mental fledging, and there doesn't seem to be a strong distinction between noun and verb forms since náwí is listed both for "growth" and "grow" on the website.

Can you expand your thoughts on náwí being a better fit in that line?

I'm glad you enjoyed the last line!
amjbarnhart From: amjbarnhart Date: November 7th, 2009 07:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

Oops! I should check my facts before offering corrections. I failed to recognize sháadehul as "growth through transendence", instead seeing only "go/come to an extreme degree". In this setting I perceive no advantage to "náwí" over "sháadehul".

2nd oops: in the first correction I offered, I forgot to pluralize "bethath" to "benethath" (of them (many)). Sorry.

ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 11th, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

Okay, I'll make the last change of "bethath" to "benethath" and announce the final version.

Besides, if xenolinguistics were too easy, it wouldn't be as impressive or as fun. Same with poetry -- I like doing the challenging stuff.
4 comments or Leave a comment