Meghan McCain on Sex and Politics

I've seen the same problem with eliminating information.

I think your proposal to educate parents is brilliant. I think more parenting skills and knowledge need to be available. Too many people come into it blind. That's a recipe for disaster. Some places offer parenting classes, but the ones around here are expensive. Vital information should be free or cheap, and ubiquitous. Then people could make an informed decision about what they want to do in their family.

This would be a wonderful way to rebuild intergenerational ties: have interested senior citizens serve as surrogate grandparents, with all their experience to share.

I like the idea of options, and I'm not against discussing sex in the context of religion.

However, I am bothered by the fact that many people choose options that cause harm. Lack of knowledge in this area can kill. That's why I'm against the abstinence-only option, because so many versions of it are dangerously incomplete.

>>I don't know why "abstinence-only" education has to mean lack of knowledge. Can you not teach that abstinence is the preferred choice without also noting things like birth control?<<

"Abstinence-only" tends to refer to those programs and people that choose to teach only about abstinence and nothing else. They are many, and their choices cause harm to others more than occasionally. Because it is practiced and it causes problems, this version draws a lot of complaints, particularly from the people who wind up cleaning up after the problems. Statistics indicate that abstinence-only has a higher rate of troublesome failures than more complete programs.

It is, of course, possible to teach that abstinence is the preferred choice but that other options such as birth control are available. Some programs and people choose to do this. It is fine as long as they give a reasonably fair presentation of the risks and benefits for each option. Off the top of my head, I can't recall seeing statistics for this type of program; I'll have to keep an eye out for that, but good numbers in an emotionally charged issue are hard to find.

Some programs are notorious for lying about condoms and saying they don't protect from pregnancy or disease, when statistically they protect most of the time but not all of the time. False information is a problem because if someone decides not to practice abstinence, they may not bother with a condom, thinking it wouldn't be any use, when it probably would. Conversely some liberal-biased programs gloss over the disadvantages of various birth control options, which can also cause harm.

In my opinion, dogma and biology do not mix well. With good and complete information, it is possible to make good decisions. With bad or incomplete information, the likelihood of bad decisions is greatly increased.

America has higher-than-necessary rates of unplanned pregnancy, STDs, maternal deaths, and infant mortality -- especially compared to civilized nations. Much of that is preventable, and more complete sex ed would go a long way toward preventing it. The country has chosen not to do that, and it's one of many things that I find disturbing. My moral compass points to a different pole; I consider withholding or misrepresenting information far more immoral than frank discussions of sexuality. The gods have already given us their greatest power -- the power to create life -- and as a species we often handle it very poorly.

*ponder* But this discussion does highlight areas of overlap. I'm okay with teaching abstinence, as long as other options are covered; some liberals think that abstinence is inappropriate to teach at all. You're okay with teaching about birth control, as long as abstinence is mentioned (or perhaps recommended); some conservatives thing that birth control is inappropriate to teach at all. One thing I liked about Meghan's essay was her emphasis on preventing unplanned pregnancies as a means of lowering the number of abortions. I think that's fertile common ground.

I think it is parents' responsibility to prepare their children for life as adults. It is painfully obvious that many people's chosen methods are ineffective in ways that cause harm to a lot of adolescents. I've seen liberal pitches for free love end in frustrating promiscuity, and conservative pitches for abstinence end in unplanned pregnancy. In general, both parents and society have an obligation to make sure that children reach adulthood safely. American society does not consider it permissible for parental beliefs to lead to the injury or death of their offspring, and lack of certain information can be fatal. Therefore...

1) Everyone should be taught that putting a penis in or near a vagina can lead to pregnancy, with the basics of human biology described in age-appropriate detail.

2) Everyone should be taught that some diseases can be transmitted through various types of sexual contact, with increasing detail matched to increasing age.

3) Everyone should be taught that abstinence is an option. It's okay to decline sex even if everyone around you is having sex. When practiced perfectly, abstinence protects perfectly against both pregnancy and STDs.

4) Everyone should be taught that there are other options besides abstinence, which are legal in this country, and which have varying levels of effectiveness against pregnancy and STDs.

5) Everyone should understand and practice the experience of caring for a human infant properly, not only for their own enlightenment but in case of emergency. This will decrease a fair number of misfortunes, not just teen pregnancies, but infant injuries and deaths.

6) Students should then be advised to consult their own beliefs, their parents, and their spiritual advisor(s) if any as to which behaviors and options are permissable or moral according the rules of their household and religion if any.

I consider the above points as necessary on a social level, after observing a wide range of totally preventable misery.

On a personal level, I believe:

1) Abstinence is where everyone should begin. Having sex too early tends to cause trouble. However ...

2) Almost nobody practices abstinence perfectly, and the drawback is that one failure can lead to disaster. This includes not only rampant hormones but rape and other extraordinary circumstances. Having only one tool in the box is rarely a good idea.

3) The vast majority of infections and unplanned pregnancies could be prevented if condoms and other prophylactics were freely available. I think condoms should be provided for free in all restrooms for the same reason that toilet paper is: general hygiene. I would also prefer that other forms of birth control be available free from suitable locations, and that funding should come from agreeable sources rather than from people who think that it's immoral.

4) Everyone should have the opportunity to learn what masturbation is and how to do it properly, if they wish. I think if everyone were in charge of their own orgasms, there would be less temptation toward copulation and less reason to put up with vile behavior from a bad partner. Masturbation can make abstinence more sustainable.

5) If more information all around on sexuality and relationships were readily available, in age-appropriate forms for children, adolescents, and adults then I think the amount of human misery would be reduced. However...

6) I have sadly observed that few people on any side of any debate related to sexuality are interested in facts, logic, or practical consequences. They are far more concerned with what they believe, and what they think should be, than with what is. This perpetuates a variety of mistakes and miseries, making actual progress difficult even when better options are known (to someone) to exist.

7) People have astonishingly little trust in their own sexual identity or religion. It's like they think the very notion of alternatives will cause everyone to flock there and abandon all else. But orientation isn't mutable for most people, and while religion is mutable, the main reason people leave their natal religion is some variation of "it doesn't meet their needs." They may pick up another one later that does, or not. But if their current one is right for them, they won't abandon it no matter what else tugs at their attention.

... that's about what I thought. I don't agree with everything she said, but I agree with a lot of it and it's an excellent personal perspective. It's real.