These are the content notes for " When Someone Else Believes in You ." "The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson Invisibility is often portrayed as causing an inevitable slide into evil . This is wrong and harmful. Power doesn't really corrupt, it reveals -- and what it reveals is that most people are secretly assholes. Without the outside pressure to behave decently, they don't. But a person who is inwardly good will continue to be good regardless of whether anyone is watching. That's integrity. Aversion to therapy is a common experience. Teens and men often prefer to avoid it. They can be dragged into it, but forced therapy tends to be harmful and can go as far as torture . Even for people who seek out therapy, it isn't simple . There are many reasons why it doesn't work for everyone . Boing-Boing has had some bad therapists, some mismatched techniques, people who didn't care about his feelings but only about making him quit irritating them, and so forth. Here are some ideas on how to make therapy work for teens and how to get the most out of your therapy . Person-Centered Therapy , or Rogerian Therapy , relies on forming rapport between counselor and client to engage the client's strengths to solve their own problems. Materials for therapists teach them how to make the client central to the healing process and the skills they need to provide such services . Here's a guide to developing treatment goals within this system. This workbook helps clients think about what they want and set goals , and this one lays out a person-centered plan . Most of these things are aimed at children or at adults with developmental disabilities, but they generalize well to other folks. Terramagne-America generally favors a person-centered approach in therapy, social services, and so forth. (These links are intense.) It is essential to establish rapport and trust before attempting to do serious headwork in therapy. Otherwise, people who have had awful experiences in therapy learn to avoid it. The counselor must listen to the client and abandon any techniques that don't fit this individual , even if they are considered best practice in general. While many schools of therapy advise the counselor to minimize self-disclosure and personal relationships , some clients are completely unreachable without it or even actively harmed by that lack. There are ways to build rapport in person or online . Therapists can take steps to build trust and clients can work on trusting the therapist . It is especially important for adults to build trust with traumatized children . Dr. G is willing to invest however much time it takes to establish a secure connection with clients before trying to do actual therapy. This works.