Notes for "Her Innocent Feelings"
These are the notes for "Her Innocent Feelings."
"Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love. Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked and she learns to ignore her feelings. She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion, arousal. So she short-circuits them and goes numb. For many children, any expression of feelings, even a single tear, is cause for more severe abuse. Again, the only recourse is to shut down. Feelings go underground."
– Laura Davis
"Child abuse and neglect offend the basic values of our state. We have a responsibility to provide safe settings for at-risk children and facilitate permanent placement for children who cannot return home."
– Matt Blunt
This is the front of the guest house in the Marionette compound.
See the deer garden. The compound has a lot of little nooks and crannies so it can house many people without feeling crowded.
The climate of Italy is a Hot Summer Mediterranean in the south. Winters tend to be cloudy and wet.
In addition to their main meals, Italians have two traditional snack times. Spuntini (midmorning snacks) and the mid-afternoon merende. Both usually serve a type of bread dough with toppings. Some typical merende are bruschetta (usually a long loaf of bread, cut into slices and topped with seasonings), focaccio (an Italian flatbread), and crostini (fried slices of polenta). Originally a rural tradition, these snacks lost popularity following World War II as people migrated to Italian cities. However, increased interest in traditional dishes and consuming healthy, lighter meals has helped these snacks become popular again, even in the United States.
Enjoy recipes for Herbed Goat Cheese and Ricotta Mini Pies, and Prawn and Vegetable Fritto Misto.
https://www.lifestylefood.com.au/recipes/27524/prawn-and-vegetable-fritto-misto
If you must have a coffee pick-me-up mid-morning, or in the afternoon, order either un caffè or macchiato, a "stained" coffee, marked with a drop of milk.
CAFFE MACCHIATO An espresso served in an espresso cup with a small dollop of steamed milk added to the top. Most Italians add a teaspoon of sugar. In Italy, this is a mid-morning drink. Macchiato means “marked” in Italian.
(These links are distressing.)
Traumatic stress can cause a spectrum of effects ranging from acute stress reaction (a normal response that fades after a few days) through acute stress disorder (a "stuck" crisis state that lasts up to a month), PTSD (a "stuck" crisis state lasting more than one month), to PDSD (a "stuck" crisis state involving repeated traumatic experiences over time). When the abuse begins very early in life, Developmental Trauma Disorder may occur as it disrupts personal growth. This spectrum of conditions is fundamentally a failure of processing that happens inside the brain. When the mind cannot file traumatic memories properly, then they don't integrate into experience, which disrupts the ability to recognize context. The events get "stuck" in a processing loop within the mind, which turns those memories into triggers that cause flashbacks. Some new therapies focus on the body as a way to "unstick" those memories and thus heal the mind. It also helps to learn ways of coping with flashbacks or helping someone else through them.
(These links are sad.)
Child abuse, especially sexual abuse, can have lasting impacts. It raises the risk of revictimization permanently. It has many other negative impacts. Know how to stop child abuse and support survivors. The healing process is long, but there are tips for parents and guardians on how to help.
(So are these.)
Trauma survivors often show worrisome symptoms of decompensation as the extreme stress overwhelms their coping skills. Trauma-informed care offers compassionate, effective ways to help survivors.
Teaching children about consent and healthy boundaries reduces the risk of abuse. This site lists resources for My Body Belongs to Me, Good Touch/Bad Touch, and other programs.
(These links are sad.)
Reactive Attachment Disorder is described as a failure on the part of the child to meet adult expectations of affection. Attachment damage, or connection disruption, instead describes an injury to the child caused by adults failing to meet the child's needs for safety, security, and love. Changing the focus changes the whole treatment plan -- not a goal of making the child behave in ways pleasing to adults, but making the child feel safe so that healthy relationships become possible. You can see Niu Le mostly clinging to Agricane, reluctant to explore or interact with other people, which is a somewhat damaged Circle of Security response. It will get better over time as they work through the attachment issues caused by abuse.
Like many people in the criminal world, the Marionettes have verbal and silent codes for talking about crime discreetly.
Meanwhile Ruggiero, with his own history of abuse, is somewhere in China quietly disposing of pedophiles and other rapists. He does not often do fieldwork anymore, but this was so exactly suited to his background and skills that he took the assignment with great satisfaction.
Adoptive parents often feel unprepared. So do birth parents. It is totally normal to panic over taking responsibility for a tiny person. Are you ready? Make sure you have a good supply of parenting skills. The most crucial thing you can do to prepare for parenthood, of course, is actually taking care of children at various ages. Volunteer to help friends or relatives with their kids, and when you feel confident assisting, move on to babysitting. This gets through most of the surprises while you have backup. Learn how to adjust to a new child and how to parent a school-age adopted child.
Betrayal is a disruption of trust which entails relational transgression and expectancy violation. This is part of the damage done by child abuse. Understand how to heal from betrayal.
(Some of these links are intense.)
Trust is complicated for abuse survivors. The often feel that they can't trust anyone. This may have been, or still be, correct distrust. In Niu Le's case, she has just gone from an untrustworthy environment to a more trustworthy one, but her past leaves her struggling to distinguish between untrustworthy and trustworthy people. Other people may not even realize why they have trouble with trust. Some people claim that trust is mandatory, but emotions can't be mandatory. Certainly it is useful in a team and vital for a healthy relationship. But don't try to shame people for not feeling that way. There are ways to gain the trust of emotionally different people.
Trust building is an important part of growing up and forming relationships. Rebuilding trust is necessary for sustainable relationships, because everyone makes mistakes sometimes and you need ways of regaining trust in each other. In this case, it's about helping a traumatized child regain trust in adults.
Emotional numbness has various causes and symptoms. It is very common in children with critical or abusive parents. Learn how to cope with emotional numbness and help a child with it.
Self-defense for children typically focuses on things like safe falling and running away.
I couldn't find good resources on how to boycott China, so I made my own.
"Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love. Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked and she learns to ignore her feelings. She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion, arousal. So she short-circuits them and goes numb. For many children, any expression of feelings, even a single tear, is cause for more severe abuse. Again, the only recourse is to shut down. Feelings go underground."
– Laura Davis
"Child abuse and neglect offend the basic values of our state. We have a responsibility to provide safe settings for at-risk children and facilitate permanent placement for children who cannot return home."
– Matt Blunt
This is the front of the guest house in the Marionette compound.
See the deer garden. The compound has a lot of little nooks and crannies so it can house many people without feeling crowded.
The climate of Italy is a Hot Summer Mediterranean in the south. Winters tend to be cloudy and wet.
In addition to their main meals, Italians have two traditional snack times. Spuntini (midmorning snacks) and the mid-afternoon merende. Both usually serve a type of bread dough with toppings. Some typical merende are bruschetta (usually a long loaf of bread, cut into slices and topped with seasonings), focaccio (an Italian flatbread), and crostini (fried slices of polenta). Originally a rural tradition, these snacks lost popularity following World War II as people migrated to Italian cities. However, increased interest in traditional dishes and consuming healthy, lighter meals has helped these snacks become popular again, even in the United States.
Enjoy recipes for Herbed Goat Cheese and Ricotta Mini Pies, and Prawn and Vegetable Fritto Misto.
https://www.lifestylefood.com.au/recipes/27524/prawn-and-vegetable-fritto-misto
If you must have a coffee pick-me-up mid-morning, or in the afternoon, order either un caffè or macchiato, a "stained" coffee, marked with a drop of milk.
CAFFE MACCHIATO An espresso served in an espresso cup with a small dollop of steamed milk added to the top. Most Italians add a teaspoon of sugar. In Italy, this is a mid-morning drink. Macchiato means “marked” in Italian.
(These links are distressing.)
Traumatic stress can cause a spectrum of effects ranging from acute stress reaction (a normal response that fades after a few days) through acute stress disorder (a "stuck" crisis state that lasts up to a month), PTSD (a "stuck" crisis state lasting more than one month), to PDSD (a "stuck" crisis state involving repeated traumatic experiences over time). When the abuse begins very early in life, Developmental Trauma Disorder may occur as it disrupts personal growth. This spectrum of conditions is fundamentally a failure of processing that happens inside the brain. When the mind cannot file traumatic memories properly, then they don't integrate into experience, which disrupts the ability to recognize context. The events get "stuck" in a processing loop within the mind, which turns those memories into triggers that cause flashbacks. Some new therapies focus on the body as a way to "unstick" those memories and thus heal the mind. It also helps to learn ways of coping with flashbacks or helping someone else through them.
(These links are sad.)
Child abuse, especially sexual abuse, can have lasting impacts. It raises the risk of revictimization permanently. It has many other negative impacts. Know how to stop child abuse and support survivors. The healing process is long, but there are tips for parents and guardians on how to help.
(So are these.)
Trauma survivors often show worrisome symptoms of decompensation as the extreme stress overwhelms their coping skills. Trauma-informed care offers compassionate, effective ways to help survivors.
Teaching children about consent and healthy boundaries reduces the risk of abuse. This site lists resources for My Body Belongs to Me, Good Touch/Bad Touch, and other programs.
(These links are sad.)
Reactive Attachment Disorder is described as a failure on the part of the child to meet adult expectations of affection. Attachment damage, or connection disruption, instead describes an injury to the child caused by adults failing to meet the child's needs for safety, security, and love. Changing the focus changes the whole treatment plan -- not a goal of making the child behave in ways pleasing to adults, but making the child feel safe so that healthy relationships become possible. You can see Niu Le mostly clinging to Agricane, reluctant to explore or interact with other people, which is a somewhat damaged Circle of Security response. It will get better over time as they work through the attachment issues caused by abuse.
Like many people in the criminal world, the Marionettes have verbal and silent codes for talking about crime discreetly.
Meanwhile Ruggiero, with his own history of abuse, is somewhere in China quietly disposing of pedophiles and other rapists. He does not often do fieldwork anymore, but this was so exactly suited to his background and skills that he took the assignment with great satisfaction.
Adoptive parents often feel unprepared. So do birth parents. It is totally normal to panic over taking responsibility for a tiny person. Are you ready? Make sure you have a good supply of parenting skills. The most crucial thing you can do to prepare for parenthood, of course, is actually taking care of children at various ages. Volunteer to help friends or relatives with their kids, and when you feel confident assisting, move on to babysitting. This gets through most of the surprises while you have backup. Learn how to adjust to a new child and how to parent a school-age adopted child.
Betrayal is a disruption of trust which entails relational transgression and expectancy violation. This is part of the damage done by child abuse. Understand how to heal from betrayal.
(Some of these links are intense.)
Trust is complicated for abuse survivors. The often feel that they can't trust anyone. This may have been, or still be, correct distrust. In Niu Le's case, she has just gone from an untrustworthy environment to a more trustworthy one, but her past leaves her struggling to distinguish between untrustworthy and trustworthy people. Other people may not even realize why they have trouble with trust. Some people claim that trust is mandatory, but emotions can't be mandatory. Certainly it is useful in a team and vital for a healthy relationship. But don't try to shame people for not feeling that way. There are ways to gain the trust of emotionally different people.
Trust building is an important part of growing up and forming relationships. Rebuilding trust is necessary for sustainable relationships, because everyone makes mistakes sometimes and you need ways of regaining trust in each other. In this case, it's about helping a traumatized child regain trust in adults.
Emotional numbness has various causes and symptoms. It is very common in children with critical or abusive parents. Learn how to cope with emotional numbness and help a child with it.
Self-defense for children typically focuses on things like safe falling and running away.
I couldn't find good resources on how to boycott China, so I made my own.