Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette

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Poem: "The Professor's Keychain"

This poem came out of the May 5, 2020 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired and sponsored by Shirley Barrette. It also fills the "Strife" square in my 5-1-20 card for the Sumerian Me Bingo fest. This poem belongs to the Shiv thread of the Polychrome Heroics series. It is the sixth in the set, after "The Truest Writers," "Those Who See Language," "A Linguistic Process," "A Living Element," and "Based on the Mistake."

"The Professor's Keychain"

[Monday, May 2, 2016]

Burr walked into the Admissions Office
of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln,
wondering what had Aldrich Deffenbaugh
so wound up on such a beautiful day.

"What the hell am I supposed
to do with these rejects you
fobbed off on me?" Aldrich said.

"What rejects?" Burr countered.
"Every student I've sent you has
met the requirements both in
points and in class grades."

"Yes, but their grades here are
marginal, and their graduation rate
is too. Hell, we still have several from
the first batch in 2011!" said Aldrich.
"I can't afford this, Burr. I haven't even
recovered from the admissions scandal
after we switched entrance exams
and let in a bunch of losers."

"All right, what's bothering you?"
Burr said. "Give me an example."

Aldrich had one at his fingertips.
"This kid, DeAndre Diez," he said.
"He started out in Ethnic Studies,
switched to Interdisciplinary Studies
where he took some of the classes
for Achievement-Centered Education,
then added a Theatre minor. He
hasn't completed any of those."

"Some people just take time
to figure out what they want
to do in life," Burr pointed out.

"For six years?" Aldrich said.
"I don't need this kind of strife --
this is getting ridiculous, Burr."

"Not really," said Burr. "DeAndre
needs structure in his life, and
college provides that for him.
It's better than the alternatives."

"What do you want me to do,
just keep him here indefinitely?"
Aldrich said, raising his eyebrows.

"If that's what it takes," Burr said.

"You can't be -- my God, you are
serious," Aldrich said, appalled. "There's
no way to justify that! The taxpayers can't
afford it, especially now it's a free ride."

"As long as it keeps DeAndre from
returning to prison, the taxpayers are
saving at least $3,000 a year on a full ride,
or $20,500 if they only cover the tuition --
not counting any extra damages from
the crimes caused by recidivism,"
said Burr. "You do the math."

"That won't stop the Board from
chewing my ears off, even if you have
cut recidivism in half," Aldrich said.

"All right, let's try social geometry,"
Burr said, taking out his keychain,
a model of the Tesla fluid valve.
He popped it in half. "This is society.
People can move away from it or
toward it, with the flow or against it."
Then he pointed to the loop of a curve.
"This bight right here is my program."

Aldrich frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The whole point of prison education
is to catch people who are moving away
from society and change their path so
they move back toward it," said Burr. "You
can help, or you can get out of my way."

Aldrich stared at the little gizmo,
one finger subconsciously echoing
its path on the surface of his desk.

"All right, you win," he muttered.

* * *


Aldrich Deffenbaugh -- He has tawny-fair skin, dark blue eyes, and short dark hair starting to go gray. He is tall with a triangular face. He is 52 in 2015. Aldrich is married with two children and four grandchildren. Aldrich earned a Bachelor of Arts in Human Services and Sociology with a double minor in Spanish and Oratory and Public Speaking at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts. He went on to get a Master of Education in Higher Education Administration General with a Certificate of Advanced Graduate Studies in School Psychology from the same school. Currently he lives in Lincoln, Nebraska where he serves as an admissions officer for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
In 2010, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln made some changes to its admission tests and standards, based on the advice of the admissions officers led by Aldrich. The goal was to diversify the student body, and it did that, but many poor students of color dropped out or failed out in 2011-2013 while others are still struggling to complete what should have been a 4-year program. The scandal was terrible, and led to a reversal of the changes in 2013. This has made Aldrich defensive and conservative.
Qualities: Good (+2) College Admissions Officer, Good (+2) Communication Skills, Good (+2) Methodical, Good (+2) Responsible, Good (+2) Tall
Poor (-2) Admissions Testing Scandal
Motivation: "People are ugly inside, always wanting to tear each other apart for making a mistake."

Admissions controversies come in various flavors, including admissions tests. Students of color routinely score lower than white students. Is that racism in the form of tests underestimating their abilities due to slanted questions, or is it in the form of poor education that leaves them actually underprepared for college? Local-America routinely admits students unready for college classes, with predictably poor results, and the remedial classes actually make matters worse. These are things that college admissions officers struggle with.

at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts
Complete all courses listed below unless otherwise indicated. Also complete any corequisite labs, recitations, clinicals, or tools courses where specified and complete any additional courses needed beyond specific college and major requirements to satisfy graduation credit requirements.
University-Wide Requirements
All undergraduate students are required to complete the University-Wide Requirements.
BA Language Requirements
All BA students are required to complete the BA language requirements.
NUpath Requirements
All undergraduate students are required to complete the NUpath Requirements.
Experiential Liberal Arts
All undergraduate students in the College of Social Sciences and Humanities are required to complete the Experiential Liberal Arts Requirement.
Human Services Requirements
Code Title Hours
Required Human Services Courses
HUSV 1101 Social Change and Human Services 4
HUSV 2300 Counseling in Human Services 4
HUSV 3570 The Nonprofit Sector, Philanthropy, and Social Change 4
HUSV 3900 Social Policy 4
HUSV 4994 Human Services Internship 6
Research Methods
Complete option A or option B:
Option A 4
HUSV 2970 Research Methods for Human Services
Complete the following and one additional HUSV course:
SOCL 2321 Research Methods in Sociology
Human Services Elective
Complete two additional HUSV courses. 8
Human Services and Diverse Populations
Complete one of the following:
HUSV 2350 Race, Identity, Social Change, and Empowerment 4
HUSV 2800 Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression 4
HUSV 2960 Intercultural Studies through Human Services 4
Senior Capstone 1
HUSV 4700 Senior Seminar in Human Services 4
Course List
1 With permission of human services, the student may complete sociology capstone Senior Seminar (SOCL 4600) and substitute one advanced human services elective for Senior Seminar in Human Services (HUSV 4700).

Sociology Requirements
Code Title Hours
Required Sociology Courses
SOCL 1101 Introduction to Sociology 4
SOCL 2300 Social Theory 4
SOCL 2320 Statistical Analysis in Sociology 4
Introductory Electives
Complete two of the following: 8
SOCL 1275 Social Stratification
SOCL 1290 Juvenile Delinquency
Intermediate-Level Elective
Complete two of the following: 8
SOCL 2358 Current Issues in Cities and Suburbs
SOCL 2450 Class, Power, and Social Change
Advanced-Level Elective
Complete one of the following: 4
ANTH 4505 Native North Americans
Senior Seminar 2
SOCL 4600
Senior Seminar 4
Course List
2 With permission of the sociology head advisor, the student may complete human services capstone Senior Seminar in Human Services (HUSV 4700) and substitute one advanced sociology elective for Senior Seminar (SOCL 4600).

Human Services/Sociology Integrative Course
Code Title Hours
SOCL 3440 Sociology of Human Service Organizations 4
Course List
Sociology Major Grade Requirement
A GPA of 2.000 for major courses is required.
Human Services and Sociology Combined-Major Credit Requirement
Complete 78 semester hours in the major.
Program Requirement
128 total semester hours required

at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts
Complete all courses listed below unless otherwise indicated. Also complete any corequisite labs, recitations, clinicals, or tools courses where specified.
Students will be required to take a total of five classes. These classes may include courses and language classes at or above the intermediate level in Dialogues of Civilization at NU. A maximum of two courses of transfer credits, including transferable courses taken abroad, may count towards the five classes in the minor.
Required Culture Course
This course must be taken on campus. It may not be replaced by courses taken on Dialogue programs, through study abroad or at another institution.
Code Title Hours
CLTR 1120 Introduction to Languages, Literature, and Culture 4
Required Language Courses
Students may waive one or both of the courses below by taking the language exam in the World Language Center. Waived courses must be replaced by electives. Please see the elective list for options.
Code Title Hours
SPNS 2301 Intermediate Spanish Immersion 1 4
SPNS 2302 Intermediate Spanish Immersion 2 4
Take at least two of the following. If one or both of the intermediate level courses were waived, please complete additional electives to reach five total courses for the Spanish minor.
Code Title Hours
CLTR 1505 Latin American Culture, History, and Politics
CLTR 3720 Literature, Arts, and Poverty in Latin America
LACS 1220 Latino, Latin American, and Caribbean Studies
GPA Requirement
2.000 GPA required in the minor

Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts
Complete all courses listed below unless otherwise indicated. Also complete any corequisite labs, recitations, clinicals, or tools courses where specified.
Public Speaking
Code Title Hours
COMM 1112 Public Speaking 4
Course List
Elective Courses
Code Title Hours
Complete four of the following: 16
COMM 1113 Business and Professional Speaking
COMM 1210 Persuasion and Rhetoric
COMM 1331 Legal Argumentation, Advocacy, and Citizenship
COMM 2100 Elements of Debate
GPA Requirement
2.000 GPA required in the minor

Master of Education in Higher Education Administration General Requirements
at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts
*For current students who entered the Master of Education with a concentration in Higher Education Administration prior to Fall 2019, click here to see the curriculum.
EDU 6051 - Culture, Equity, Power, and Influence 4.00
EDU 6204 - The Foundations of Higher Education 5.00
Required Courses
EDU 6205 - The Demographics of the New College Student 4.00
EDU 6217 - The History of Colleges and Universities 4.00
EDU 6218 - Money Matters: Financial Management in Higher Education 4.00
EDU 6219 - Higher Education Law and Policy 4.00
EDU 6234 - Program Evaluation, Assessment, and Accreditation in Higher Education 4.00
EDU 6222 - Contemporary Issues Capstone 4.00
Complete 12 quarter hours from the following:
EDU 6216 - The College Student Experience 4.00
EDU 6224 - Strategic Leadership in Enrollment Management 4.00
EDU 6228 - Supervising Through Change 2.00
EDU 6232 - Midlevel Strategic Planning 2.00

Certificate of Advanced Graduate Studies in School Psychology
Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts
A grade of B or higher is required in all course work.
CAEP 6353 - Curriculum-Based Assessment and Instruction 3.00
CAEP 6354 - Social, Emotional, and Behavioral Assessment 3.00
CAEP 6345 - Learning Problems: Educational, Biological, and Ecological Perspectives 3.00
CAEP 6360 - Consultation and Program Evaluation 3.00
CAEP 6399 - Clinical Skills in Counseling Psychology 3.00
CAEP 6401 - Counseling Children and Adolescents in Schools 1 3.00
CAEP 6402 - Counseling Children and Adolescents in Schools 2 3.00
CAEP 8415 - Practicum in School Psychology 1 2.00
CAEP 8416 - Practicum in School Psychology 2 2.00
CAEP 8501 - Internship in School Psychology 1 3.00
CAEP 8502 - Internship in School Psychology 2 3.00

DeAndre Diez -- He has light brown skin, nappy black hair, and brown eyes. His heritage is black and Hispanic. He speaks English, some Spanish, and some Japanese. DeAndre was 19 in 2010 when he spent a year in the Nebraska Penitentiary. A friend had talked him into robbing a store and the owner was severely injured. He was 20 in 2011 when he enrolled in the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. He is 25 in 2016 and still hasn't graduated. DeAndre started out in Ethnic Studies, then switched to Interdisciplinary Studies where he focused on the Achievement-Centered Education requirements. Then he added a Theatre minor, which he hasn't completed either. Curious but unfocused, DeAndre makes an erratic student. He desperately needs structure in life, and clings to college for that reason. He handles different cultures well, though, and enjoys theatre.
Qualities: Good (+2) Curious, Good (+2) Multicultural, Good (+2) Tall, Good (+2) Theatre Fan
Poor (-2) Unfocused

at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Thirty-three (33) hours, with no more than half taken within one particular discipline (e.g., history, English). At least 12 credit hours must be taken at the 300 level or above, and at least 6 hours must be taken at the 400 level. Students must select and complete one of four emphasis areas: Multi-Ethnic, African and African-American Studies, Latino and Latin American Studies, or Native American Studies.

Core Requirements
ETHN 100 Introduction to Ethnic Studies 3
ETHN 400 Senior Seminar 3
Credit Hours Subtotal: 6
Total Credit Hours 6
Course List

Specific Major Requirements
Select one of the following: 3
ENGL 200 Introduction to English Studies
Credit Hours Subtotal: 3
Select two courses from the following (including one at the 300 or 400 level): 6
ANTH 130 Anthropology of the Great Plains
Credit Hours Subtotal: 6
Total Credit Hours 9
Course List

Emphasis Area Requirements
Select one of the following emphasis areas: Multi-ethnic Studies, African and African-American Studies, Latino and Latin American Studies, or Native American Studies.

Select 6 hours from each of the following three lists—African and African-American Studies, Latino and Latin American Studies, and Native American Studies. 18
Credit Hours Subtotal: 18
Course List (see below)

Select 18 hours from the following: 18
ETHN 113 / HIST 113 History of Hip Hop
ETHN 150 / HIST 150 African Culture and Civilization
Credit Hours Subtotal: 18

Select 18 hours from the following: 18
ETHN 171 / HIST 171History of Latin America
ETHN 202 Introduction to Latina and/or Latino Studies
Credit Hours Subtotal: 18

Select 18 hours from the following: 18
ETHN 241 / HIST 241
Native American History
ETHN 245N / ENGL 245N
Introduction to Native American Literature

Credit Hours Subtotal: 18

Individualized Courses of Instruction. A total of 9 hours of individualized coursework may count toward the major, but no more than 6 hours of one particular course will count toward the major. This includes ETHN 297, ETHN 299, ETHN 399H, ETHN 497, ETHN 499.

Minor Requirement
Students must also complete a Plan A minor from a discipline other than Ethnic Studies or one of its component programs.

Interdisciplinary Studies
Degree at a Glance
ACE Requirements 30
Languages: Classical & Modern
JAPN 201 Second-Year Japanese I
JAPN 202 Intermediate Grammar and Reading I
Select from the list of “Approved Courses” found under “College Degree Requirements.”
Major Area of Study 51
Electives 33-39
Total Credit Hours 120
Course List

Students must be admitted as a major into one of the academic units and successfully complete one year of the home unit’s core curriculum before applying for entrance into the Interdisciplinary Studies program. A listing of the required courses is available in each academic unit’s administrative office.

Achievement-Centered Education (ACE)
Courses Offered

ACE 1 Writing

ACE 2 Communication Competence

ACE 3 Math/Stat/Reasoning

ACE 4 Science

ACE 5 Humanities

ACE 6 Social Sciences

ACE 7 Arts

ACE 8 Civic/Ethics/Stewardship

ACE 9 Global/Diversity

ACE 10 Integrated Product

Plan A Minor in Theatre – 18 credits
THEA 112G Introduction to Theatre 3
THEA 114Basic Acting Techniques I 3
THEA 201 Technical Theatre Practice 3
Credit Hours Subtotal: 15
Select one of the following: 3
THEA 115 Basic Acting Techniques II
THEA 210 Introduction to Stage Lighting
THEA 234 Scripts in Production
Credit Hours Subtotal: 3
Total Credit Hours 18
Course List

* * *

The Nebraska State Penitentiary is the site of major components of the Agency's Cornhusker State Industries (CSI) program.
• Security Levels: Maximum, Medium and Minimum Custody.
• Average Population: 1323
• Number of Staff: 465
• Cost per Inmate per Year: $27,834

Estimated Budgets for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Nebraska Resident Total Budget $24,936
In-State Tuition $7,350
Other Fees $1,892
Room and Board $11,430
On-Campus Other Budget $3,248
Books and Supplies $1,016
The total tuition and living expense budget for in-state Nebraska residents to go to Nebraska is $24,936 for the 2018/2019 academic year.

It is about $3,000 cheaper for taxpayers to support a person at college than one in prison -- not counting the additional costs of crime racked up by recidivism -- if covering all expenses. It is $20,500 cheaper for college if covering only tuition, although that would probably exclude most if not all former inmates.

The Tesla fluid valve provides one-way flow with no moving parts. This video contrasts the simple flow path and complex flow path. Here is a more detailed description of how the valve works. Terramagne society functions like a Tesla fluid valve: the farther someone tries to go away from civilization, the more difficult it gets.

See a Tesla fluid valve keychain. These are common in Terramagne.

1. n
a bend or curve (especially in a coastline)
2. nv
a loop in a rope
Tags: cyberfunded creativity, education, entertainment, fantasy, fishbowl, poem, poetry, reading, weblit, writing
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