Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette

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... for black women with disabilities.

“What does liberation for Disabled Black Bodies, actually look like, when it comes to sex, sensuality, and desirability?”

Well, first, you have to fix some other stuff:

* You need control over who takes care of your body, and how, and when. While the needs may be inflexible, the manner in which they are met is up to people, and should be the free choice of the body-owner.

* You need a secure place to live which meets your physical and social needs. Preferably, it should be somewhere that practices intentional neighboring. This way, you enjoy an exchange of giving and receiving help, rather than being stuck as a charity case.

* You need a healthy diet and water supply, suitable to your body and cultural preferences. It must be affordable and accessible, whether you prefer to eat at restaurants, have food delivered, have a caregiver or housemate cook in your home, or shop and cook for yourself.

* Your clothes should fit the body you have, be comfortable, suit your physical needs, and look good on you. This includes adaptive garments if you need them, and sexy things if you want them. Intersectionality has a big impact here as women, black people, and disabled people are often served poorly by the mass market.

* If you are capable of working, you need a job suited to your abilities and interests, with reasonable accommodations for your limitations. This must pay the same as it would an abled white male. If you are not capable of working, then society is obliged to support you at a decent standard of living, not in miserable destitution.

Now we can talk about sex:

* You have a comprehensive right to sex education that covers bodies of diverse abilities, sex/gender dynamics, colors, shapes, sizes, and so on. You need information about sexual choices and safety, along with a wide range of enjoyable things people do together or alone. Illustrations and sexual demonstration videos should reflect this diversity.

* Sex toys should come in a huge range of sizes, colors, shapes, and features. This is the one thing I think we actually have covered. But they should also be readily accessible to everyone, where it falls down because many people can't afford these things. For people with disabilities, adaptive sex toys can make the difference between being able to do sexual activities or not.

* If you want some sort of sex partner(s), then you also need people who are open-minded about sex/gender, ethnicity, ability, etc. in order to find you attractive; and at least some of them must be people whose qualities you also find attractive. This is the hardest part to solve, because while perceptions about groups of people are influenced by society, sexual desire is very subjective and does what it wants no matter what society says it "should" want or do or be. The best we can do here is encourage open-mindedness and create ways for interested people to find each other.

* You need to be free from abuse of all kinds -- sexual, physical, emotional, medical, legal, financial, religious, and so forth. In case of abuse, there must be people you can call who will immediately solve the problems and restore your life to good working order.

Finally you can put on your sexy clothes and your sexy adaptive equipment, and go on a hot date to an accessible restaurant, then go home to your accessible bedroom and proceed to hump like bunnies if that's what you and your partner(s) want. \o/
Tags: activism, community, ethnic studies, gender studies, networking, safety
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