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Emotional Intimacy Question: Phones - The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
Emotional Intimacy Question: Phones
Folks have mentioned an interest in questions and conversations that make them think. So I've decided to offer more of those. I'm starting with this list.

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

Always. I loathe phones and want to get it over with as fast as possible. Rehearsing makes that more efficient.

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Current Mood: busy busy

11 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
From: rhodielady_47 Date: March 8th, 2018 03:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
YES. Business calls need to be done quickly as well as politely.
:^)
zianuray From: zianuray Date: March 8th, 2018 04:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes, especially business calls.
fayanora From: fayanora Date: March 11th, 2018 02:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Given this, and many other things I've observed of you over the years, I wonder if you might be on the autism spectrum.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 11th, 2018 05:16 am (UTC) (Link)

Well ...

There is much I share in common. However, the official diagnosis requires a significant language disability, and I have the opposite, extreme facility. Clearly I'm some flavor of neurovariant though. People have been calling me inhuman since about the time I could walk and talk. As this is true in some regards, and I'm not particularly impressed by humanity, it does not bother me.

I have yet to find a psychological description that seems like an exact fit. I found out that dyslexia and dyscalculia were things by reading the foreword of a fantasy anthology. After years of describing quite precisely that I can't do math because the numbers MOVE. *shrug* But I already knew that most people were stupid, so I'm not surprised they overlook the obvious.
fayanora From: fayanora Date: March 11th, 2018 06:53 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well ...

However, the official diagnosis requires a significant language disability, and I have the opposite, extreme facility.

What? I'm confused. Sure, some autistic people have language difficulties, but those on the Asperger's end don't. Like me. In fact, what you described fits Asperger's very well.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 11th, 2018 07:43 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well ...

Here's one example that mentioned a requirement for verbal and nonverbal communication impairment:

https://www.naset.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Forms_Checklist_Etc/IEP_Committee/Eligibility_Criteria_Chklt_Diagnosis_Autism.pdf

Asperger's is no longer a recognized option, which outrages many people who feel that it fits them but the newer version does not.
cissa From: cissa Date: March 11th, 2018 09:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well ...

Re dyslexia and dyscalculia: YES. Both are true for me, and I really don't get how one could have one without the other, but...

I was slow learning to read, and phonetics just made NO sense because (as I now know) the letters kept moving. I remember the eureka moment, when I basically started looking at words as if they were ideograms (and they have had some success teaching dyslexic kids to read via Chinese, apparently), so I was looking at the shape of the word rather than its letters.

With arithmetic it was harder. At some point I figured out how to write one numeral at a time AS I was reading it off the blackboard. I still have to use tricks for numbers, like say them out loud and again as I write them, and make sure they SOUND the same.

I don't hold this against the reading teachers- but you'd think that, in the arithmetic, the teachers would have noticed that the numbers in the problems were jumbled rather than just marking the answer WRONG. I got in so much crap from my parents until I figured out the coping.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 11th, 2018 10:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well ...

>>Re dyslexia and dyscalculia: YES. Both are true for me, and I really don't get how one could have one without the other, but...<<

*laugh* I have both, but only one is disabling. The dyslexia is almost entirely eclipsed by my linguistic coprocessor. "Teh" automatically corrects to "the" so fast I don't even notice it. I only know I have it because on rare occasions an uncorrected transposition slips through. I do make more typing errors of that sort, but it doesn't impact my reading at all.

With math, however, there's no correction. 421 is as legitimate as 412. It's very difficult to get through a math problem when the numbers keep rearranging themselves. And that's before accounting for my logical difficulty grasping math, my mystical anti-knack for math which is contagious as a field effect, or the surprisingly good intuition for math that I picked up from my desert characters ... oh, going on ten years ago now.

>>I don't hold this against the reading teachers- but you'd think that, in the arithmetic, the teachers would have noticed that the numbers in the problems were jumbled rather than just marking the answer WRONG. I got in so much crap from my parents until I figured out the coping.<<

Most ordinary teachers simply don't know the symptoms of learning disabilities and aren't trained for that. But any time a child is struggling badly in a particular area, somebody with said training really should check. Dyslexia and dyscalculia are among the easiest to diagnose just because of the transpositions.

Me, I rely on two main strategies: 1) For things of ordinary importance, do the math two or three times to make sure it matches. 2) For anything of serious importance, get someone else to do it.
cissa From: cissa Date: March 11th, 2018 10:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well ...

OK, you are right. While letters moving and numerals moving are first-order the same, I had not taken into account the fact that letters have a context numerals do not. Thank you!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 11th, 2018 11:01 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well ...

Bear in mind, that only helps if the person has a hyperdeveloped linguistic intelligence. For most people, dyslexia is still disabling because they don't have a way to counterbalance it. I haven't heard of anyone else doing that, but I expect there are some.
cissa From: cissa Date: March 11th, 2018 11:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well ...

That was what I found so fascinating about the dyslexic kids that learned to read English via Chinese. While it's not great for spelling, seeing a word as an ideogram or a hieroglyph bypasses that pesky moving letter thing. I only was able to verbalize how that worked for me after I'd read about the studies.

Interestingly, that's a technique that's also taught for speed-reading- seeing words as a whole rather than spelling them out. (I am a fast reader, generally, and did well in a speed-reading segment of a HS English class.)
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