busyWhy does anyone say not to get angry about this shit? If someone grabs your body you are entitled to get angry. Your adaptive equipment counts as part of your body for this purpose, especially if people are also grabbing your meat. Maybe if more disabled people would rip the heads off people who grope them, it would happen less. Try a very loud "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"
Also, if nonverbal, an air horn should make gropers jump away from you.
No ...
December 22 2017, 22:38:45 UTC 3 years ago
Helpiness: Grabbing someone's flesh or adaptive equipment, doing things to them without asking and without their consent, asking but ignoring the answer, etc. "I'll get that for you."
Volunteering, or actual help: Asking whether they want help, and if so, what kind; and taking yes or no for an answer. "It looks like that's out of reach for you. Would you like a hand?"
Totally different experiences, but the difference can be tricky to grasp. It's about respect and agency. Helpiness makes life fucking miserable. Help can be uplifting and enabling if you want it, and even if you're uncomfortable with the amount of assistance you need, respectful offers and matter-of-fact handling keep the discomfort to a minimum.
December 23 2017, 00:32:49 UTC 3 years ago Edited: December 23 2017, 00:33:37 UTC
Asking is demanding that I respond, basically. It's attempting to impose a duty.