Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
  • Mood: busy

Wheelchair Adventures

Things that happen to people in wheelchairs. 

Why does anyone say not to get angry about this shit?  If someone grabs your body you are entitled to get angry.  Your adaptive equipment counts as part of your body for this purpose, especially if people are also grabbing your meat.  Maybe if more disabled people would rip the heads off people who grope them, it would happen less.  Try a very loud "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"

Also, if nonverbal, an air horn should make gropers jump away from you.
Tags: activism, networking, reading, safety
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  • 12 comments
rhodielady_47

rhodielady_47

December 22 2017, 08:28:02 UTC 3 years ago

Spending large amounts of time in a wheelchair isn't any fun at all.
I got stuck in one for over a year when I nearly took out the ACL inside my left knee one year. It was the better part of two years before I was walking well again.
The local folks were all well-behaved toward me. Many of them actually volunteered to help me--if it looked like I needed help.
I'm extremely grateful to be back up on my feet now!
:^)

terrycloth

terrycloth

December 22 2017, 22:05:00 UTC 3 years ago

Isn't people volunteering to help what this person is complaining about?
ysabetwordsmith

No ...

ysabetwordsmith

December 22 2017, 22:38:45 UTC 3 years ago

The original poster was complaining about helpiness, not help.

Helpiness: Grabbing someone's flesh or adaptive equipment, doing things to them without asking and without their consent, asking but ignoring the answer, etc. "I'll get that for you."

Volunteering, or actual help: Asking whether they want help, and if so, what kind; and taking yes or no for an answer. "It looks like that's out of reach for you. Would you like a hand?"

Totally different experiences, but the difference can be tricky to grasp. It's about respect and agency. Helpiness makes life fucking miserable. Help can be uplifting and enabling if you want it, and even if you're uncomfortable with the amount of assistance you need, respectful offers and matter-of-fact handling keep the discomfort to a minimum.
terrycloth

terrycloth

December 23 2017, 00:32:49 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  December 23 2017, 00:33:37 UTC

That sounds like a personal hang-up. I find people asking much more annoying than people just going and helping when I need it (or when I don't for that matter, although it *is* annoying when I don't).

Asking is demanding that I respond, basically. It's attempting to impose a duty.
rhodielady_47

rhodielady_47

December 23 2017, 12:19:19 UTC 3 years ago

You're right, it is.
My own experience was quite different though---which was the only point I was trying to make here. Please don't think I'm trying to make it sound as though I think he/she is over-reacting.
(I do have to wonder though if it's because I'm a very outgoing person and have never been shy. I'm generally quite comfortable talking to polite strangers.)
This person, however, MIGHT be an extremely shy person who'd very much prefer NOT to be noticed or interacted with by strangers at all.
If that's the case, POV is everything.
:^}