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Wheelchair Adventures - The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
Wheelchair Adventures
Things that happen to people in wheelchairs

Why does anyone say not to get angry about this shit?  If someone grabs your body you are entitled to get angry.  Your adaptive equipment counts as part of your body for this purpose, especially if people are also grabbing your meat.  Maybe if more disabled people would rip the heads off people who grope them, it would happen less.  Try a very loud "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"

Also, if nonverbal, an air horn should make gropers jump away from you.

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fayanora From: fayanora Date: December 22nd, 2017 07:02 am (UTC) (Link)
LOL I love the air horn idea.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 22nd, 2017 07:15 am (UTC) (Link)

Yay!

Nonverbal people need ways to communicate. That includes folks who occasionally lose speech under extreme stress. An air horn is a standard self-defense device that does no harm, absolutely gets attention, and is easy to recognize. It's also a lot cheaper than a voice synthesizer you could program to say "Stop touching me there."
fayanora From: fayanora Date: December 22nd, 2017 08:02 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yay!

I wonder if Dalia Ravenstone could use that. She's autistic, goes nonverbal sometimes. She knows ASL because she has a deaf younger sibling (Chooli) who never learned how to read lips, but she's only got one friend who also knows ASL (Sally). And unlike Chooli, she doesn't have a magical sentient smartphone to interpret for her. If Sally's there, that's helpful, but she's not always there.

Hmm... actually, Dalia doesn't like loud noises. She might not like an airhorn. But I dunno, she might put up with it if it's useful. Though being in a school, using one might get her in trouble.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 22nd, 2017 09:55 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yay!

>>Hmm... actually, Dalia doesn't like loud noises. She might not like an airhorn. <<

Voice synthesizer is an option if you can afford it, or if not, there are some other noisemakers that will get attention but aren't as obnoxious as an air horn.

>> But I dunno, she might put up with it if it's useful. Though being in a school, using one might get her in trouble. <<

Sometimes you don't get to not be hurt, only choose between different people hurting you. But if you can make yourself a conspicuous and inconvenient target, that discourages many people from bothering you again.
From: rhodielady_47 Date: December 22nd, 2017 08:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Spending large amounts of time in a wheelchair isn't any fun at all.
I got stuck in one for over a year when I nearly took out the ACL inside my left knee one year. It was the better part of two years before I was walking well again.
The local folks were all well-behaved toward me. Many of them actually volunteered to help me--if it looked like I needed help.
I'm extremely grateful to be back up on my feet now!
:^)

ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 22nd, 2017 08:31 am (UTC) (Link)

Yes ...

Being in a wheelchair sucks, but it's like an Artifact of Alignment Detection. If you were surrounded mostly by decent people, that is awesome. \o/
From: rhodielady_47 Date: December 22nd, 2017 10:28 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yes ...

I have to agree with you. A wheelchair, or any item designed to make life easier on someone who's handicapped, is an artifact of Alignment Detection.
And that includes eyeglasses!
:^}
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 22nd, 2017 10:36 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yes ...

I can just imagine someone in T-America hiring out as a tester to reveal the alignment of a prospective boyfriend or girlfriend.
terrycloth From: terrycloth Date: December 22nd, 2017 10:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Isn't people volunteering to help what this person is complaining about?
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 22nd, 2017 10:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

No ...

The original poster was complaining about helpiness, not help.

Helpiness: Grabbing someone's flesh or adaptive equipment, doing things to them without asking and without their consent, asking but ignoring the answer, etc. "I'll get that for you."

Volunteering, or actual help: Asking whether they want help, and if so, what kind; and taking yes or no for an answer. "It looks like that's out of reach for you. Would you like a hand?"

Totally different experiences, but the difference can be tricky to grasp. It's about respect and agency. Helpiness makes life fucking miserable. Help can be uplifting and enabling if you want it, and even if you're uncomfortable with the amount of assistance you need, respectful offers and matter-of-fact handling keep the discomfort to a minimum.
terrycloth From: terrycloth Date: December 23rd, 2017 12:32 am (UTC) (Link)
That sounds like a personal hang-up. I find people asking much more annoying than people just going and helping when I need it (or when I don't for that matter, although it *is* annoying when I don't).

Asking is demanding that I respond, basically. It's attempting to impose a duty.

Edited at 2017-12-23 12:33 am (UTC)
From: rhodielady_47 Date: December 23rd, 2017 12:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're right, it is.
My own experience was quite different though---which was the only point I was trying to make here. Please don't think I'm trying to make it sound as though I think he/she is over-reacting.
(I do have to wonder though if it's because I'm a very outgoing person and have never been shy. I'm generally quite comfortable talking to polite strangers.)
This person, however, MIGHT be an extremely shy person who'd very much prefer NOT to be noticed or interacted with by strangers at all.
If that's the case, POV is everything.
:^}

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