Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith

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Romantic Orientations in My Characters

I got to thinking about how people discover aspects of their identity. I've heard a few people say that therapy helped, and a lot say it didn't help or made matters much worse. So what does work consistently? Reading! I've heard many people say they discovered things about their identity from reading, and so have I. If you are confused or unhappy about some aspect of your identity, then reading seems to be a robustly successful way of working on that. Stack up a bunch of material featuring characters of all different orientations and just read your way down that to see if anything resonates with you.

So I took a list of romantic orientations and started going down it to see how many I've filled just from my own writing. Some of these are specifically listed in character notes or shown in scenes, while others I've added as my best authorial guess since many characters (and some cultures) don't know these terms. Some are strongly featured in entries while others are more background. For a general listing by series, see my QUILTBAG Characters page; and here's one on Sexual Orientations in My Characters.

I have tried to represent as wide a range as possible. If you think a character fits something where I haven't marked any, go ahead and suggest that. If you don't see yourself in the mirror yet -- or you want more of a favorite -- then feel free to prompt for any of these during any relevant prompt call.


Romantic Orientations

Abroromantic - Is someone who experiences a fluid or rapidly changing romantic attraction to different gender expressions.
Gormlaith in "A Different Kind of QUILTBAG" has sexual and romantic attractions that fluctuate in just about every way including this one.

Acoromantic - Is someone whose negative experiences with romance has alienated them from their allo-romanticism.
Fortressa in "Pulling Pigtails" started out heteroromantic heterosexual, but after some unfortunate events, smashed her orientation to pieces and threw it away.
Introduced in "Never Laid Open," Ambrose Farrington tried heterosexual romance, found it too much drama, and turned his off; he is now in a queerplatonic relationship with another man.

Adfecturomantic/Affecturomantic/Adfectual/Adfomantic - Is someone whose romantic attraction is affected by their neurodivergency.
In "For the Purpose of Establishing Justice," Blocks is totally courting the Analyst in geeked-out neurovariant fashion ... and she is falling for it.

Aidoromantic - Aidos was the the goddess of humbleness, respect and modesty. So an Aidoromantic is a person who finds themselves attracted to these qualities in a person only and feels strong aversion towards Egocentrics and arrogance and selfishness all the things that are similar to narcissist behaviours.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait. 

Alligiplatonic - feeling affectionate attraction toward switches in kink, without aspects of sex or romance. From Greek αλλαγή (allagí̱) meaning switch or change.

Alligiromantic - feeling erotic attraction toward switches in kink. From Greek αλλαγή (allagí̱) meaning switch or change.

Alligisensual - feeling tactile attraction toward switches in kink. From Greek αλλαγή (allagí̱) meaning switch or change.

Alligitractive - a desire to form a deep, long-term relationship with a kinky switch. This usually, but not always, implies doing kinky things together; some people are just attracted by the personality traits, not the practice. From Greek αλλαγή (allagí̱) meaning switch or change.

Alloromantic/Zedromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction to other people. Also commonly just called a “romantic person.”
Danso is homoromantic homosexual. Noah is biromantic bisexual. See them cuddle in "The Frequency of Love."
I'm not sure I could pin down Cuoio and Chiara, but he definitely has romantic/sexual interest in women and she does in men. See "Reveal Everything Mysterious" for a romantic dinner.

Alterous - Is someone who can't be described as neither being (entirely/completely) platonic nor romantic, & is an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being (at all or entirely) platonic &/or romantic, & is used in the place of -romantic or -platonic (so say bi-alterous instead of bi-romantic).
Someone can be both alterous & romantic &/or platonic & can have varying degrees on attraction, ultimately feel discomfort / unease / or just a sense of inaccuracy in calling it wholly romantic or platonic.
More examples:
Androalterous/Manalterous* - Alterous attraction to men and/or masculinity.
Gynealterous/ Womanalterous* - Alterous attraction to women and/or femininity.
Panalterous - Alterous attraction towards people regardless of sex and gender.
Polyalterous - Alterous attraction towards people of more than one multiple sexes and gender, yet not all.
Heteroalterous - Alterous attraction towards the opposite sex or gender.

I don't have a character who specifically identifies this way, but it's one of several that may apply to Vagary, who identifies as sexually confused (and is just as confused about romance). See "Can't It Just Be What It Is?"

Androromantic -Is someone who is romantically attracted to masculinity, the male sex and male identifying/presenting people.
This likely applies to Chiara, who definitely has romantic/sexual interest in men, and she's perfectly happy dancing with a butch in "Small Beautiful Bones." See "Reveal Everything Mysterious" for her romantic dinner with Cuoio.

Aparticetractive - wanting to avoid any kind of strong, long-term relationship with a partner such as a dance partner or beat partner. The person may wish to work alone, or with coworkers who have no significant emotional or social ties between them. From Latin particeps for partner.

Apathromantic (The root word being Apathy) - Is someone whose orientation form of "romance indifferent" which can also be used as a title. It does not distinguish if the person does or does not have romantic attraction, but just that they are indifferent in receiving it or acting it out.
Ari's reaction to romantically-offered flowers in "Bouquets of Bygone Days" is one of sublime indifference. Shahana is much the same, and indeed, this is a common (though not universal or required) romantic orientation for paladins in general.

Apothiroromantic - Is someone who (also known as anti-romantic, or romance repulsion) is an aromantic that does not experience any romantic attraction whatsoever, in any shape or form, and is romance-repulsed. They do not wish to be in any type of romantic relationship.
Lalor is a standoffish sex-repulsed asexual who is probably also apothiroromantic (but his best friend Ani has gotten past his barriers anyway); Ani is casually sexual, intensely omnisensual, and open to romance. They're introduced in "A Different Kind of QUILTBAG."

Apresromantic - Is someone who only experiences a romantic attraction after another form of attraction is felt. The original attraction may or may not fade/be replaced by the new attraction.
It sounds like this may overlap with demiromantic. I have noticed a tendency for superheroes and supervillains to get together first as nemeses, and sometimes that develops into friendship, romance, and/or sexual attraction. So in this regard, compare Antimatter and Stalwart Stan in "Look at Me" (as nemeses) and "Dare Not Speak" (where they start to realize their feelings are changing).

Aroflux - Is someone whose romantic orientation is on the aromantic spectrum & is defined as.....
someone who's romantic orientation fluctuates but always stays on the aro spectrum. (ex. one day you're demiro, another day lithro, the next aro, etc)
someone who's romantic orientation fluctuates from, experiencing romantic attraction, some romantic attraction, & experiencing no romantic attraction.
some people who are aroflux feel as if they are alloromantic at times, while other aroflux people don't feel that way. aroflux people can be romance repulsed, romance indifferent / neutral/apathetic towards romance, or romance positive. & can have any sexual orientation
.
NeonFlux, whose Empathy picks up influence from other people; not written yet.

Aromantic - Is someone who does not feel romantic attraction.
In An Army of One, many characters are aromantic, and all of the AYES so far are aromantic asexual.
In Hart's Farm, Solvig is aromantic asexual. Ragi is aromantic demisexual homosexual, mostly celibate and mostly solitary.

Arovague - Is someone whose status as an aromantic is uncertain or affected by mood
.
Vagary, who identifies as sexually confused (and is just as confused about romance), really likes this description and it's likely to stick. See "Can't It Just Be What It Is?"

Autochorisromantic/Aegoromantic - Is someone who enjoys the idea of romance, but not wishing to be a participant in romantic activities (based off of autochorissexual / a disconnection between oneself and a romantic target or fantasy).
Ashna Bansal is autochorisromantic. Introduced in "Purr Little Things." (not posted yet)

Bellusromantic - Is someone who is fine with cute fluffy stuff with anyone but you don't want a relationship at all / not necessarily arospec identity, similar to nonamory. The prefix comes from the Italy “bella” meaning “pretty.”
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait. However, I would say that such a person is nontractive due to avoiding relationships.

Biromantic - Is someone who enjoys behavior typically associated with dating and love, like cuddling, hugging, gift-giving, love notes, but probably not kissing, etc. and enjoys it with two sexes or genders.
Stalwart Stan is biromantic bisexual, and also demi. There's a really cute revelation of this in "A Walk in the Park."
Noah is biromantic bisexual. See him cuddle with Danso in "The Frequency of Love."

Borearomantic - Is someone who has a set romantic orientation but with an exception.

Dr. Eabha Doran is borearomantic, about 99% lesbian and eventually married a man. She appears in "Desperate Measures."

Burstromantic - Is someone whose romantic attraction comes and goes but does not specify if it has a reason or not.
Gormlaith in "A Different Kind of QUILTBAG" has sexual and romantic attractions that fluctuate in just about every way including this one.

Caedromantic - Is someone who used to experience romantic attractions, but no longer does due to past trauma.
Fortressa in "Pulling Pigtails" started out heteroromantic heterosexual, but after some unfortunate events, smashed her orientation to pieces and threw it away.

Cupioromantic - Is someone who is described as aromantic (people who never experience romantic attraction) who still desire a romantic relationship. Is a subset of aromantic.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Demikinky - someone who does not have kinky feelings with strangers, only people they already know and like. They do not pick up strangers to play with, and only do scenes with their close companions.

Demiromantic - Is someone who only experiences romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection beforehand. Demiromantics do not experience primary romantic attraction, but they are capable of secondary romantic attraction.
Stalwart Stan is demisexual and likely also demiromantic. He and Lawrence discuss demisexuality in "The Outcome of Vulnerability."
Calliope is demiromantic demisexual.
In Frankenstein's Family, Dénes the brewer is slow to warm up to people, and uncomfortable with fast advances in intimacy. You can see this in "Who Finds a True Friend," where he and his wife Dorottya get involved with Csilla. By contemporary terminology, I call Dénes demiromantic demisexual, even though those terms aren't in play within his culture.

Demisensual - not wanting close physical contact such as snuggling with anyone, until a close emotional connection develops, after which an attraction for sensual activities may develop.

Dominiplatonic - feeling affectionate attraction to a dominant person in kink, without aspects of sex or romance. From Latin dominus for master.

Dominiromantic - feeling romantic attraction to a dominant person in kink. From Latin dominus for master.

Dominisensual - feeling tactile attraction to a dominant person in kink. From Latin dominus for master.

Dominitractive - a desire to form a deep, long-term relationship with a dominant person in kink. This usually, but not always, implies doing kinky things together; some people are just attracted by the personality traits, not the practice. From Latin dominus for master.

Frayromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people you are less familiar with, which fades away when you get to know them more
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Graykinky - someone with minor or fleeting interest in kink, for whom it is a not a strong drive or a major feature of their identity, yet who has enough attraction to set them aside from the vanilla folks with zero interest. This is sometimes called "French vanilla."

Grayparticetractive - a person whose interest in a strong, long-term relationship with a partner such as a dance partner or beat partner lies between aparticetractive and particetractive. The person may feel the attraction, but not often; feel it, but not want a relationship based on it; prefer to work alone but find themselves attaching to an assigned partner; or have some other feeling between the two extremes. From Latin particeps for partner.

Grayromantic - Is someone whose romantic orientation is somewhere between aromantic and romantic.
For example, a gray-romantic may:
Experience romantic attraction but not very often. But when so, it is usual strong attraction.
Experience romantic attraction, but not desire romantic relationships.
Also used as a catch-all for other non aromantic, non alloromantic/zedromantic orientations, like demiromantic and lithromantic
.
Hanh Espinoza has no romantic aspirations at this time. He may not be quite aromantic, but he seems to be on that spectrum. He is introduced in "Devil May Care."

Gyneromantic - Is someone who is romantically attracted to femininity, the female sex and female identifying/presenting people.
This likely describes Cuoio, who certainly finds women appealing and doesn't mind men expressing feminine aspects, so I gather he'd be fine with the male-bodied-female-presenting comares. He's quite protective of Salvo's crossdressing in "Small Beautiful Bones."

Heteroromantic - Is someone who is attracted to the oppostite sex or gender in a romantic way
.
In P.I.E. Brenda and Darrel are heteroromantic heterosexual.
As far as I know, Stalwart Stan's parents Stuart and Sharon Wood are heteroromantic heterosexual. You can see their family life in "What We Call Chaos."

Homoromantic - Is someone who is attracted to the same sex or gender in a romantic way.
In Walking the Beat, Dale and Kelly are homoromantic lesbians.
Clement is homoromantic asexual, as shown in "Drawing Me Out."

Hyperromantic - is someone who is extremely or excessively romantic.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Hyporomantic - Hypo is from Greek and means low. Quite the opposite of Hyper. And as Hyposexual mean low sex-drive, this is it's romantic synonym. Low romantic drive.
Hanh Espinoza has no romantic aspirations at this time. He may not be quite aromantic, but it clearly isn't a priority for him, meaning he has a low romantic drive. He is introduced in "Devil May Care."

Idemromantic - Is someone who does not internally experience romantic and platonic attraction differently; they distinguish between romantic and platonic based on other factors. "Idem" means "the same" in Latin.
Idemromantic people categorize their interest in others as romantic instead of platonic based on age, personality compatibility, emotional closeness, ease of living together, presence of sexual attraction, or other factors. However, their feelings toward their romantic interests would not be particularly distinguishable from platonic feelings and may be similar to how they feel for a best friend or beloved family member. They may pursue platonic, quasiplatonic, romantic, or no relationships
.
Amancia Reid in "Homemade Families" (not published yet) does not distinguish between romantic and platonic attraction.
Corey Trueblood in "On the Crust of an Unfinished Planet" is idemromantic pomosexual.

Ipsiflux - wanting to form a strong, long-term relationship with a boss but the exact nature (sexual, romantic, platonic, etc.) depends on the boss' orientation and morphs to match. From Latin ipsimus for boss.
Pips in "The Higher a Monkey Climbs" is ipsiflux.

Ipsiplatonic - wanting to form a strong, long-term, relationship with a boss which is neither sexual nor romantic. From Latin ipsimus for boss.

Ipsisensual - wanting to form a sensual relationship with a boss, which is not necessarily sexual or romantic. From Latin ipsimus for boss.

Ipsitractive - wanting to form a strong, long-term relationship with a boss. From Latin ipsimus for boss.

Kinky - attracted to people and activities in the BDSM scene. This includes a vast range of possibilities such as bondage, spanking, roleplaying, and sensation play.

Lithromantic/Aporomantic/Akoi(ne)romantic - Is someone who can feel a romantic attraction towards others and also enjoy romantic relationships in theory, but not needing that affection to be reciprocated or be in a relationship with the one the feelings are directed towards. Either that, or they may stop feeling the attraction once in a relationship or stop enjoying it.
Note: There is a certain level of controversy linked to the prefix "litho." It was first coined referring to Lesbian Butch culture and some lesbians object to it being appropriated to describe a sexuality/romanticism
.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait. It seems to overlap what used to be called "courtly romance" in which the whole point was to wist after someone unobtainable; this was for quite some time popular and respected.

Nebularomantic - Is someone who has a hard time or cannot tell romantic attraction apart from platonic due to being quoiroromantic or due to their neurodivergency.
This is one of several that may apply to Vagary, who identifies as sexually confused (and is just as confused about romance). See "Can't It Just Be What It Is?"

Noviromantic - Is someone who experiences a complicated romantic attraction (or lack thereof) such that they do not feel it can be described in a single term
This is one of several that may apply to Vagary, who identifies as sexually confused (and is just as confused about romance). See "Can't It Just Be What It Is?"

Omniaromantic - Is someone who feels no romantic attraction whatsoever. In no way, shape, or form do they fall in love or feel any attraction to anyone.
They are completely non-romantic, and will not fall in love no matter how long they stay with someone or any other factor that could/would lead to a romantic interest in any other type of aromantic or alloromantic relationships. They do not wish to be in any romantic relationships,are not attracted to anyone. (Excepting experimentation.)
They are asensual, have no aesthetic attraction to others, and no squishes. They can experience platonic love or familial love, though not all do so.
This term was made to made a distinguish between being on the aromantic spectrum and specify from the common definition of a aromantic person, since saying someone is "aromantic" could mean they could be demiromantic, gray-aromantic, and such other types of aromantics who do feel sensual, have aesthetic attraction and such
.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Omnisensual - someone open to tactile activities with a partner of any sex/gender. Sensual orientation is often, though not always, wider than sexual orientation. A person might be heterosexual but omnisensual. Some people only want massage from a person of the same sex/gender while others prefer the opposite.

Panromantic - Is someone who is romantically attracted to others but is not limited by the others sex or gender. Panromantics will tend to feel that their partner's sex and/or gender does little to define their relationship.
Pat in Schrodinger's Heroes is panromantic pansexual polyamorous.

Particeplatonic - wanting to form a strong, long-term relationship with a partner such as a dance partner or beat partner, which is neither sexual nor romantic. From Latin particeps for partner.
Hefty and Fiddlesticks in "A Pattern of Devotion" are particeplatonic.

Particeromantic - wanting to form a romantic relationship with a partner such as a dance partner or beat partner. From Latin particeps for partner.

Particesensual - wanting to form a sensual relationship with a partner such as a dance partner or beat partner, which is not necessarily sexual or romantic. From Latin particeps for partner.

Particetractive - wanting to form a strong, long-term relationship with a partner such as a dance partner or beat partner. From Latin particeps for partner.

Placioromantic - Is someone who feels little to no desire to receive sexual/romantic acts performed on them but expresses interest/desire in performing them on someone else. Not necessarily arospec, but a useful term for the community. The prefix for this term comes from the Latin word “placere” meaning “to please.”
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait. However, it would suit the shrin ("I'm not telling") gender in Waterjewel.

Polyromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards people of more than one sex or gender, but not all. Unlike panromantic, this term implies that sex or gender is still a factor in attraction, and it does not imply the gender binary as biromantic does.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Post rubor - Is someone who quickly gets crushes/squishes/etc on others, but after the initial excitement of said crush/etc vanishes so do their feelings.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Proquuromantic - Is someone masculine who only experiences romantic attractions to those perceived as also being masculine.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Quasiromantic - Is someone who identifies as quasiromantic may see their attraction as non-traditional or may feel it differs from crushes, perhaps a mix between platonic, romantic, aesthetic, or somewhere completely different and/or it involves other non-traditional aspects, such as rare attraction, or attraction but non-physical, non-platonic but romantic, etc.
Katie McCormic in "Without Diversity" is quasiromantic metasexual.

Queerplatonic - A queerplatonic relationship is a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection beyond what most people consider friendship. The commitment level in a queerplatonic relationship is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship. People in a queerplatonic relationship may be of any romantic or sexual orientation. It may include any romantic or sexual elements the people in the relationship feel they want, or none at all.
Ambrose and Garry have a queerplatonic relationship, as shown in "Calming the Agitations."
This also seems apt for Mallory and Heron, which is cemented in "To Protect the Most Vulnerable."
Some AYES in An Army of One have a tight bond with a pilot, and queerplatonic is a reasonable description of that. See an example in "The Love We Give Our Fragile Craft" with the meeting of Bexley and the Cruiser Falconwing P42.

Quoiromantic - Is someone whose romantic orientation is on the aromantic spectrum that describes people who cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, cannot define romantic attraction and therefore are not sure if they experience it, experience attraction somewhere between romantic and platonic, or want to be in a queerplatonic relationship. It’s also known as WTFromantic or Whatromantic or Platoniromantic.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Recipromantic - Is someone who only feels romantic attraction only if the other person feels romantic attraction to them at first. If there is no one around to feel romantic attraction to them, largely recipromantics may feel like simply defining themselves as aromantic describes their experiences just fine.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Requi(es)romantic - Is someone who feels little to no romantic attraction due to some mental or emotional exhaustion, the exhaustion might have been caused by bad experiences of romance during that person's history.

I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Sapioromantic - Is someone who is attracted to intelligence or human minds.
Clarity is sapiosexual and thus likely sapioromantic, introduced in "Damask Speaks."

Schromantic - Is someone who is aromantic and romantic at the same time, or some mix of the two. (A term used here on AVEN)
(describing romanticism in terms of Schrödinger’s cat as having the possibility of being romantic and aromantic at the same time)
.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait. However, it seems like a natural fit for Good!Schrodinger/Evil!Schrodinger; surely there must be a dimension in which this is happening.

Skolio/Ceteroromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards non-binary genders.
Note: There is a certain level of controversy linked to the prefix "skolio." It is very similar to "scolio," which means crooked, twisted or bent. Lately the prefix "cetero" has started to be used instead of "skolio."

Haru Kimura and Rei Moritomo are both genderqueer and likely skoliosexual, introduced in "An Art of Balance."

Submiplatonic - feeling affectionate attraction to a dominant person in kink, without aspects of sex or romance. From Latin submissus for submissive.

Submiromantic - feeling romantic attraction to a submissive person in kink. From Latin submissus for submissive.

Submisensual - feeling tactile attraction to a dominant person in kink. From Latin submissus for submissive.

Submitractive - a desire to form a deep, long-term relationship with a dominant person in kink. This usually, but not always, implies doing kinky things together; some people are just attracted by the personality traits, not the practice. From Latin submissus for submissive.

Transromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction to people that they perceive as being transgender.
I can't think of a character I've written with this trait.

Vanilla - a person who does not feel attracted to kinky people or activities at all.
It is worth noting that this use of "vanilla" has spawned other vocabulary of "ice cream sexuality." Kink is typically represented by less common and popular flavors such as "pistachio" or "rocky road." The "gray" range for people who like only the mildest kink is sometimes called "French vanilla."


Related helpful terms
~From Urban Dictionary~

Amatonormativity - A tendency of society to treat romantic relationships as more valuable than non-romantic ones.

Aromate - A platonic friend who’s pretty much your soul-mate but in a friend way. you’d totally hold their hand and take them out to movies though. In other words Aromantic partner.
Lalor is a standoffish sex-repulsed asexual (but his best friend Ani has gotten past his barriers anyway); Ani is casually sexual, intensely omnisensual, and open to romance. They can reasonably be considered aromates. They're introduced in "A Different Kind of QUILTBAG."

Lush - A sensual equivalent of a squish or crush.
Shiv has quite a strong sensual attraction to Pain's Gray, as introduced in "The Sharpest Dose of Reality."

Nonamory - Not wanting to form romantic relationships no matter one's orientation.
Fortressa in "Pulling Pigtails" started out heteroromantic heterosexual, but after some unfortunate events, smashed her orientation to pieces and threw it away.
Introduced in "Never Laid Open," Ambrose Farrington tried heterosexual romance, found it too much drama, and turned his off; he is now in a queerplatonic relationship with another man.

Peach Fuzz - When people in queer platonic relationships pretend their partnership is a romantic one to stave off questions from family and friends.

Plush - Queer platonic crush, strong desire to join in a qeer platonic relationship with someone.

Soft Romo - Low level romance/romantic attraction/crush/etc.

Smush - A sexual crush aka Lust.
Socket has had a strong sexual/romantic interest in Fortressa, but chose not to reveal it due to Fortressa's loudly proclaimed disinterest in such things, and has been trying to divert it to platonic friendship. See the introduction in "Pulling Pigtails."

Swish - An aesthetic crush.

Squish - In the asexual community, the equivalent of a "crush", but explicitly lacking an interest in forming a romantic couple or having a sexual relationship with the person in question. It does not matter if they are "in a relationship", as long as you two can have a deep connection. A squish is an intense feeling of attraction, liking, appreciation, admiration for a person you urgently want to get to know better and become close with. It is different from "just wanting to be friends" in that there is an intensity about it and a disproportionate sense of elation when they like and appreciate you back.
Keane and Payne's Gray are squishing on each other due to the way their superpowers interact, as shown in "Only If It Is Embraced" (not published yet).
Tags: fiction, gender studies, life lessons, poetry, reading, romance, weblit, writing
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