Evanore the Witch and
Guntar the Warrior met when
she was gathering herbs and
he was bleeding to death.
She stopped up the blood
and healed his wounds, and
he vowed to protect her until
he could repay a life for a life.
So they traveled together,
and it was easier to find jobs
for two adventurers than for one.
Evanore used her owl Two-Whit
to scout out allies and possible clients.
Guntar protected Evanore
from bandits and mercenaries
and men who couldn't keep
their hands to themselves.
Somehow it never seemed like
quite enough to settle the debt.
Then came the Dark Wizard Draug.
He took one valley after another,
making the peasants his slaves
and killing anyone who might
be strong enough to resist.
So the adventurers took to
the woods and hunted him
in secret, whispering plans
by the light of the moon.
It was Evanore the Witch
who told them of the augenleaf
that could steal a wizard's power,
and Guntar the Warrior who
smeared it on his sword.
The others in their little bands
teased the Bleak Keep until
Draug himself came forth.
Two-Whit the owl followed
overhead, silent as death,
showing the witch her enemy.
Although the dark wizard
slew many of their allies,
Evanore and Guntar
cornered him at last.
Evanore cast spell after spell
to keep Draug distracted until
Guntar could get behind him
and run him through with
the poisoned sword.
It was almost enough.
Draug in his dying moments
cast one final curse at them --
Star-crossed, Sun-swept --
that they could never be
together as man and wife lest
the dark magic kill them both.
"You are a fool," Guntar told
the corpse as he cleaned
his sword carefully on its cloak.
"Evanore and I have been friends
far longer than we have looked on
each other with any sort of lust."
Evanore sighed. "Yes, but I had
wanted to have children someday,
and I hoped they might be yours."
"It would have been nice," Guntar agreed.
"But there is no shortage of orphans,
thanks to this beast --" He kicked
the corpse. "-- so when we decide
to settle down, we'll just adopt some."
They weren't quite ready to settle
that year, or the next, but in the third
a dragon bit so deeply into Guntar's arm
that not even Evanore's magic could
do more than keep it attached.
So they looked through the villages
to find a place that they could call home,
and along the way they gathered up
first one orphan and then another.
By the time Evanore and Guntar
arrived in Gloryroad Crossing, they
had six children tagging along with them,
from a boy near puberty to a half-orc baby
that they had found abandoned by the road.
They had, of course, researched the curse.
While they found no way of breaking it,
they did find that it was quite literal.
So they built a cottage with three bedrooms
that had doors which actually closed, and
at night they put the children to bed.
Then Evanore would bring out the long rod
she had carved from a length of oak, and
they would please each other with it
without ever disturbing the curse.
Despite the scars that prevented Guntar
from swinging a sword, he could still teach,
and Evanore made potions to sell to
the adventurers passing through.
Although the two of them
were Star-crossed, Sun-swept,
they were quite happy.
* * *
See Evanore the Witch and Two-Whit the Owl.
Here is Guntar the Warrior.
In order to avoid the curse, which is very narrowly focused, Evanore made this wooden rod. Sex toys have been around for thousands of years, many of them carved from wood. Why other people's characters never seem to think of these solutions is beyond me. Mine are devious little fuckers.