Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
  • Mood: busy

... Then Your Marriage Isn't Real to Me Either

Here is a fascinating essay about one person's decision to stop culturally recognizing marriage. In one sense, it's a very in-your-face way of teaching the majority what it's like to have your life dismissed by other people. Yet in another sense, it's a very real statement about rights: if one group has the right to ignore other people's marriages, then everybody has the right to do that ... or ignore marriage in general.

And wow, do people hate that. It can be a devastating tactic.

Marriage exists on two levels, and neither can erase the other. It is a personal commitment among adults to share their lives, acting as a social unit. It is a relationship mode recognized by the surrounding culture as forming a family boundary. No wonder people flip out when someone refuses to grant the latter: it is a brutal denial of a cornerstone of life and identity.

If everybody's marriage isn't respected, then nobody's is, really.
Tags: community, gender studies
Subscribe

  • Rose-breasted Grosbeak

    I saw a rose-breasted grosbeak on the hopper feeder. I don't think I've seen one in summer before. They usually appear in spring. We had some for…

  • Birdfeeding

    Today is mostly sunny, muggy, and warm. I fed the birds. I've seen house finches. I took a few pictures in the yard. EDIT 7/4/21 -- I picked half…

  • Birdfeeding

    Today is sunny and mild. I fed the birds. I've seen house finches and sparrows. I raked the firepit and laid a chimney of sticks in it. We broke up…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    switch
    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
    Help
  • 5 comments
dianavilliers

dianavilliers

November 20 2008, 03:54:43 UTC 12 years ago Edited:  November 20 2008, 03:55:05 UTC

This is similar to what joedecker is proposing in the comments here.
padparadscha

padparadscha

November 20 2008, 05:39:09 UTC 12 years ago

I have always had a bit of a nebulous concept of marriage--From the time I was small I never quite understood those stories where they had to race to stop an ill-fated wedding, because dude, who says I gotta stay with him? (The Princess Bride was going in the right direction there.) I was always the analytical anthropologist who saw how varied and flexible marriage was.

So on the spiritual and personal level, I figured people were married when they SAID they were. On the legal level, I don't see why on EARTH you need the parties entering the legal/financial contract to be of a certain type.

Needless to say, I really like this idea.
fayanora

fayanora

November 20 2008, 13:03:39 UTC 12 years ago

That warms the cockles of my heart and amuses me. :-) I think I might do that, too. But only to people who don't support gay marriage.
jenny_evergreen

jenny_evergreen

November 20 2008, 16:10:01 UTC 12 years ago Edited:  November 20 2008, 16:10:21 UTC

Ooh. "Your refusal to respect ALL marriage DOES threaten mine." An aggressive, interesting approach.
talithakalago

talithakalago

November 21 2008, 01:05:17 UTC 12 years ago

On the other hand, some marriages and cultural commitment beliefs are better off banned/ignored.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=669439

Not all things are equal.