Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
  • Mood: busy

Hard Things

* Due to current political issues, I'm double-stacking today's social safety network posts. This one is for UNHAPPY topics. The other one is for HAPPY topics.

Life is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.

What are some of the hard things you've done recently?

Tags: recurring posts
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  • 3 comments
ng_moonmoth

ng_moonmoth

November 10 2016, 00:01:51 UTC 4 years ago

I'm recalibrating my path to being out as myself all the time in the face of a government that will soon be turning its back on sexually and gender variant people. It appears that it will no longer serve as a counterweight balancing those areas proclaiming their lack of understanding and unwillingness to engage us by formulating and passing laws depriving us of our ability to participate fully in society.

And this when I was just beginning to feel comfortable enough to express myself openly with people I have known for some time. I feel like I still can proceed, but it will be more carefully, and with more exceptions where I must be undercover for the sake of my own safety.
ysabetwordsmith

Alas ...

ysabetwordsmith

November 10 2016, 00:06:18 UTC 4 years ago

And that's the damage done by bigotry, hatred, and oppression. People have to hide just to survive. :(

*hugs* I squish you just as you are.
ng_moonmoth

Re: Alas ...

ng_moonmoth

November 10 2016, 02:28:38 UTC 4 years ago

>> And that's the damage done by bigotry, hatred, and oppression. People have to hide just to survive. <<

Indeed. The problem is that the hiding just perpetuates the problem -- and the cumulative corrosive effect of having to do it kills people.

I spent a good chunk of my gender counseling session today exploring this issue. After reflecting on what we covered, I now understand that for me, hiding amounts to surrender, and what I need to be able to do is find a way to represent myself in a way that will lead to constructive engagement. A quote from Martin Luther King that I encountered a few weeks ago points the way:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

I believe that I will feel free to be out as myself once I attain the poise that will allow me to respond to hurtful comments with civility and curiosity. One possible path begins "It sounds like you find my (whatever was attacked) troubling. I am interested in how that affects you. Could you please help me understand?"

>> *hugs* I squish you just as you are. <<

*joyously accepts hug, hugs back* I squish you too, just as you are. Maybe someday in person.