Warning: This poem contains some touchy topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. Napoleon is trying to mindroll people again, ineffectively. He is allergic to soy and whining about food he can't have. Lily's mother Narcissa is a cunt, who does not respect people's dietary parameters or other boundaries of personal integrity. But it's still a pretty cute poem. If these are sensitive issues for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.
"Rather Delicate Creatures"
I met up with Lily at
the Honey Bistro Park
after taking Napoleon
to the veterinarian.
"So what's the verdict?"
she asked, looking down at
the gangly brown tabby sulking
at the end of his leash.
"We're halfway through
the elimination diet, and
the scratching has faded, so
we are pretty sure that he is
allergic to soy or something else
in his favorite food," I explained.
I want the fish, Napoleon whined.
GIVE ME THE FISH!
"The fish-flavored cat food
probably makes you itch,"
I tell him for the zillionth time.
"After we finish the food trial,
we can test with pure fish.
Do you want to start with
the salmon or the tuna?"
I want Kitty Wish!
Napoleon said, and
sharpened his claws
on my blue jeans.
When I declined to respond
and instead went back
to drinking my coffee,
he turned his attention
on Lily instead.
Lily put her cocoa on
her knee and said, "If you
touch my nylons, I will soak you."
Napoleon flattened his ears
and growled at her.
"Five point five," she said blandly.
"Your intimidation skills need work."
Napoleon swished his tail and
slunk toward the next table,
intent on the children with
their basket of fish sticks.
"Don't even try it," I told him,
then added for the parents' benefit,
"He's on a special diet, no treats."
Napoleon wailed his protests
at the top of his lungs.
"Cool," said the little boy.
"It's like he understands you."
If only they knew.
"He understands that he's not
getting any fish," I said.
Finally Napoleon flopped down
in a sunbeam and fell asleep.
"Well, at least he doesn't have
trouble sleeping," Lily said.
"Cats are rather delicate creatures,
but I've never known one to suffer
from insomnia," I said with a laugh.
Lily's mother Narcissa dropped by
with several cups of ice cream --
baklava for herself, chocolate for Lily,
and even French vanilla for me.
She was trying to make nice,
now that it was clear I'm not
going away, even though
she wasn't very good at it.
"Thank you," I said, and
dug into mine. It was good.
Lily took one bite of hers
and spit it out. "This is coffee,"
she sputtered. "You know
how much I hate coffee!"
"It's mocha," Narcissa said.
"Which is chocolate with
coffee in it," Lily gritted.
"Oh, don't be silly," Narcissa said.
"I thought if I didn't tell you what
was in it, you wouldn't know you
weren't supposed to like it."
Lily grabbed handful of napkins
and tried to wipe off her tongue.
"Here, trade me," I suggested,
offering her my French vanilla.
"You don't even like chocolate,"
she said, glaring at me.
"It's okay," I said with a shrug.
"I don't like wasting food."
I'll eat it, Napoleon said eagerly.
I like ice cream. GIVE ME
THE ICE CREAM NOW.
"No, it would spoil your food trial
and we'd have to start over,"
I said, moving it out of reach.
"Everyone would hate that."
Napoleon's mental screech
made people wince throughout
the patio dotted with tables.
Narcissa pinned him to the pavement
with one high-heeled shoe and said,
"Go back to sleep." The kitten went limp.
Blessed, blessed silence.
I knew that I should probably
scold Narcissa for excessive force,
but the snoring kitten was such
an improvement over days of
constant caterwauling that I
didn't have the heart for it.
Narcissa raised an eyebrow.
"Usually this is where you
start yelling at me," she said.
"Compromise can be
a beautiful thing," I said.
Lily watched her mother
walk away, and then said,
"You know that she's going
to walk all over you after this."
I shrugged. "She can try."
Lily licked a dollop of French vanilla
from the spoon with her tongue, then
grimaced. Coffee flavor always
took a while to fade for her.
Supervillains, too, could be
rather delicate creatures and
fragile in some surprising ways.
Lily wasn't really a supervillain,
even though her mother wanted
her to be one, but she came from
the same background and thus
shared a lot of the same traits.
I got up and bought a packet
of spiced mixed nuts from
Horace's Health Nuts.
"Here," I said. "These should
cut the taste of the coffee, and
they go well with French vanilla."
Lily gave me a shy smile
through the dark curtains
of her hair. "Thanks."
Delicate, fragile, and
frequently infuriating --
but some of them were
worth pursuing anyhow.
* * *
Napoleon -- He is a male kitten with brown classic tabby fur and hazel eyes. He is the son of Macavity, younger brother of Cayenne and older brother of Mrrhow the Mercurial. Currently they live with Riposte.
Origin: He was born with his superpowers.
Uniform: None. He goes nude.
Qualities: Good (+2) Kitten, Good (+2) Persuasive
Poor (-2) Holds Grudges
Powers: Average (0) Telempathy
Weakness: Allergy to soy.
Motivation: To manipulate people.
Riposte (Jacob "Coby" Wade) -- Coby has fair skin, light brown hair, and blue eyes. He is average height with considerable muscle. He grew up in a family of superheroes but never developed powers himself. His grandmother Snapdragon used to be a supervillain, until she fell in love with a hero and quit the supervillain life. His mother is a strongwoman and his father is a telepath; his oldest brother has super-strength, middle brother has super-speed, and his older sister has telepathy. Coby's fashion sense is such that he can put together the wildest outfit and still look good in it instead of ridiculous. He wore a glass-green smoking jacket to his senior prom and had girls hanging all over him. His specialty is fighting supervillains with telepathic, empathic, or other abilities that allow them to manipulate people. He is still touchy about lacking real powers, though.
Origin: Coby is the youngest of four children in a super family, and the only one without powers. So he pushed his ordinary abilities until he could compete on a super scale, finding ways to accomplish the same things.
Uniform: Colorful and expressive, the details change but the flair remains similar. Riposte likes poet shirts, fancy coats, and hats. The most common color is yellow-green contrasted with blue-violet and red-violet. He wears a tricolor half-mask.
Qualities: Master (+6) Armor of Iron Will, Expert (+4) More Than One Way to Skin a Cat, Expert (+4) Soup Culture, Expert (+4) Family Connections, Expert (+4) Strong, Expert (+4) Tough, Good (+2) College Student, Good (+2) Deduction, Good (+2) Speed-reading, Good (+2) Unusual Fashion Sense, Good (+2) Wrestler
Poor (-2) I Can TOO Keep Up With You!
Motivation: To be effective as a supernary hero.
Ligeia (Lily Acquarone) -- Lily has long straight black hair, black eyes, and olive skin. She lives across the alley from Riposte (Jacob "Coby" Wade). Her mother Narcissa used to work for Coby's grandmother Snapdragon as a kid sidekick, until said grandmother fell in love with a hero and quit the supervillain life. Narcissa wants Lily to be a supervillain. Lily wants to be a singer or an actress in musicals. The family has a lot of emotional violence. In swim class, Lily once lost control of her powers and drowned Coby by accident, but he doesn't blame her. She hates coffee, or anything coffee-flavored.
Origin: Her powers grew in during puberty.
Uniform: Fashionable women's clothes.
Qualities: Good (+2) Beautiful, Good (+2) Independent, Good (+2) Musical Intelligence, Good (+2) Performer
Poor (-2) Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
Powers: Expert (+4) Siren Song (Signature Stunts: Break Glass, Truth Serum), Average (0) Flight, Average (0) Water Powers
Motivation: To discover her true self.
Narcissa (Nata Acquarone) -- She has olive skin, dark brown eyes, and straight brunette hair cut to jaw level. She used to work for Coby's grandmother Snapdragon as a kid sidekick, until said grandmother fell in love with a hero and quit the supervillain life. Narcissa has a daughter, Lily, and wants Lily to be a supervillain. They live across the alley from Riposte (Jacob "Coby" Wade).
Origin: She got caught in the crossfire during a cape fight and developed superpowers.
Uniform: Sparkly yellow dexflan bodysuit with bell sleeves and a neck ruffle, matching domino mask and sandals of yellow krevel.
Qualities: Expert (+4) Jewelry Appraiser, Good (+2) Loyal, Good (+2) Swimmer, Good (+2) Thief
Poor (-2) Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
Powers: Average (0) Sleep Induction
Motivation: To help her family get ahead, whatever it takes.
* * *
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."
-- Joseph Wood Krutch
See Honey Bistro Park with tables and chairs.
Cats can have allergies or intolerances to food; itching is the lead symptom of allergies. By far the most common are plant additives in cat food that they wouldn't eat in the wild, such as soy.
Dysfunctional families fail to perform the practical purposes that loving households serve. They maintain this pattern persistently, often led by a dysfunctional adult such as a narcissist, which leaves an imprint on adult children. There are ways to deal with dysfunctional relatives and break away from toxic patterns.
There are many diets people may follow out of necessity or preference. One reason behind preferences is that some people are supertasters, which has a genetic basis. Bitter foods such as coffee are among the most frequently rejected; to some folks, the bitterness overwhelms anything it might be mixed with, even very sweet things such as ice cream. Feeding people something you know they can't or won't eat is supervillain-caliber chicanery. Nice people have manners.
Enjoy a recipe for Baklava Ice Cream.
Horace's Health Nuts is a snack stand that sells paper cones of nuts which may be plain, salted, candied, or spiced. They're famous for having a great selection: peanuts, almonds, walnuts, cashews, brazil nuts, chestnuts, and sunflower seeds are usually available along with mixed nuts and granola bars. They most often set up at parks, zoos, fairs, or other outdoor locations but they have a few mall stands too. Here is a recipe for Spiced Mixed Nuts.