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Poem: "Schrodinger's Catbox" - The Wordsmith's Forge — LiveJournal
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
Poem: "Schrodinger's Catbox"
This poem came out of the August 2, 2016 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired and sponsored by LJ user Ng_moonmoth. It belongs to the Schrodinger's Heroes project.

"Schrodinger's Catbox"

The first attempt to cater to
Schrodinger's sanitary needs
involved Bailey and Chris building
a handsome black cabinet
to hold the litterbox.

It either did or did not
need cleaning, but you
couldn't tell without
opening it to check.

It was discreet, but still
needed human attention
on a daily basis.

The next attempt featured
Bailey and Alex devising
a self-cleaning litterbox.

It maintained itself for
the most part, but needed
occasional maintenance and
was also prone to breaking down.

It was not the expected use
to which people typically put
advanced science degrees, but
Alex was determined to succeed.

Of course, in the Tef,
the unexpected must be
expected to some extent.

So it was that visitor,
emerged from the box
one day and turned out
to be either feline or human
depending on who observed him.

It took a while to figure out
how to send him!him!them
back to the home dimension.

Perhaps inevitably,
Evil!Schrodinger also
discovered the catbox
and used it as a point
of transportation.

By the time they caught
Evil!Schrodinger and sent
him home, he had already
crapped in Kay's slipper.

"Maybe we should just unplug
the darn thing and go back
to using a regular catbox,"
Bailey suggested.

"But that's not fair to
Schrodinger," said Alex.
"He likes the new ones better.
You wouldn't want to go back
to using an outhouse."

"Wouldn't help," Chris drawled.
"We got those outside, and
just last month aliens invaded
one of 'em -- and let's not forget
the rainforest that manifested in
the shower or the dolphin that
appeared in the bathtub. It's
the Tef; stuff happens here."

"You win," Bailey said.

* * *


Cabinets can be built for privacy around a tray-type litterbox, such as this handsome black model.

There are many different styles of catbox, including automatic ones. The Best is an enclosed, rotating model. Cat Genie scoops and even washes itself. Nature's Miracle is a self-raking tray type.

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1 comment or Leave a comment
From: technoshaman Date: August 5th, 2016 06:11 am (UTC) (Link)
*looks at cabinet* *shakes head* OTOH, hero!Schrodinger likes it.. and I'll be willing to bet Destra, our own Bombay, would adore it too. Cricket the permakitten? Doesn't care, as long as she has a soft pillow to lay on after.
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