Coping Skills: Managing Energy Flows

A <a href="http://dialecticdreamer.dreamwidth.org/234806.html?thread=4531766#cmt4531766">recent conversation about coping skills</a> has inspired some posts. This one deals with how you handle your energy and other people&#39;s energy. <lj-cut> <strong>&quot;Managing Energy Flows&quot;</strong> Part of staying healthy involves managing the type and amount of energy flowing around or through you. Key skills for this include grounding, centering, and shielding. <a href="http://www.spooksinvestigations.com/different-ways-to-ground-yourself-and-protect-yourself.html">Grounding</a> means connecting yourself to an outside energy source. It is usually Earth, which is easiest for most people, but can be something else. You can draw in energy if you feel depleted, or dump off excess if you feel overcharged. <a href="http://www.mensxp.com/work-life/work-environment/11336-how-to-center-yourself-and-deal-with-stress-at-work-[part-2]_.html">Centering</a> means connecting with yourself, getting your energy in order, and focusing on what is you vs. not-you. <a href="http://www.soul-healer.com/psychic-energetic-protection/security-shielding-grids-methods/">Shielding</a> involves creating an energy barrier around yourself (or an object, which is more often called warding). Typically shields are semi-permeable, letting in good energy while keeping out bad energy. They can also be used to keep your feelings inside so they don&#39;t spill over onto other people. Some people have a fluent grasp of the numinous. They deal comfortably with magical or spiritual concepts and skills. But what do you do for folks who are not like that? Well then you do it the empirical way. * Look at some of the science involving emotions, bioenergy, psychology, and see if any of that sounds relevant to your experiences. * Browse exercises and think whether any of them sound like they might work and would help if they did. * Pick one and try it. Do you feel better? If so, it works and you should keep using it. If not, keep trying it for a while; things take practice. If it still doesn&#39;t work, pick a different exercise and try that. * Try to find exercises that rely on assorted types of activity -- mental ones, physical ones, different senses, etc. * Look for ones that use terms which make sense to you, describing things in physical or mental ways rather than magical or spiritual ways. * It helps to know many names for emotions and how they relate to each other. <a href="http://www.copypress.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Wheellarge.png">This flower graph</a> is great for that. * You may find it helpful to use a mood tracker or other records to compare results of different exercises. <a href="http://www.changeispossible.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Screen-Shot-2011-10-27-at-4.41.19-PM.png">Hi/Lo tracker</a> <a href="http://blog.memoto.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/daily-mood-tracker-knock.jpg">1-10 tracker</a> <a href="http://www.rewardcharts4kids.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/weekly-feelings-chart-2.jpg">Faces tracker</a> * You may also like to have a <a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c9/01/f2/c901f29453c813e6ac4aff7dbf2ebc84.jpg">big chart of feelings</a> or a <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rE3BN7Q244E/Ud1waB1dDMI/AAAAAAAAAEA/_bQ7C9IbVZ4/s1600/Feelings+Chart+for+Parents.JPG">circle chart</a> where you can mark which ones you perceive from other people. Sometimes people may have difficulties in solving their own problems, but they don&#39;t realize it and/or don&#39;t want to hear about it. There are <a href-"="href-&quot;" http://goodlifezen.com/21-ways-to-comfort-a-friend-in-crisis/"="http://goodlifezen.com/21-ways-to-comfort-a-friend-in-crisis/&quot;">ways to cope with this</a> too, especially <a href=" http://www.ulifeline.org/articles/406-signs-a-friend-might-need-help">if they seem very troubled</a>. 1) Describe what you observe and why you think that might be a problem. Frex, &quot;I&#39;ve noticed that you seem tired and sad today, and you keep dropping things. That&#39;s not like you. Is something wrong?&quot; Practice <a href="http://cdss.org/swroc/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/4-Can-We-Talk.pdf">nonviolent communication</a>. <a href="http://www.gordontraining.com/free-workplace-articles/working-together-with-i-messages/">I-Messages</a> and <a href="http://changingminds.org/techniques/assertiveness/three-part_message.htm">3-Part Messages</a> can help. 2) Try to figure out what they like and how they think. Most people have a <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201105/your-life-story-in-metaphors">life metaphor</a> or a hobby you can use as a comparison. Frex, many American women use &quot;life is a traditional schoolroom&quot; while men often use &quot;life is a game of football.&quot; In Asia it&#39;s frequently &quot;life is a family altar.&quot; Frame your descriptions and suggestions along those lines and it will be easier to communicate. 3) There are tips on <a href="http://au.reachout.com/what-to-do-when-someone-doesnt-want-help">how to help people who don&#39;t want to be helped</a>. In particular, I advise trying to figure out <a href="http://www.snagglebox.com/article/autism-asking-for-help">why they don&#39;t want help</a> and then you can address that. Frex, if they have been ignored before, you can listen to them. If they have been hurt by helpiness, you can demonstrate your competence and ask what they would find useful. People have a right to say no, though, and you should respect that. They have <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agency_(sociology)">agency</a> and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/roxie-jane-hunt/haircuts-a-lesson-on-body_b_9351096.html">body autonomy</a>, so they can make their own decisions. The exceptions are: 1) If they are slopping personal problems into public space, they need to either put it in a can or work on the problem. Airing your dirty laundry in public is rude. 2) If they are hurting themselves or others, you have some right to intervene, depending on the severity of the situation and your relationship to the person. However, understand that this will quite likely make the person angry, so you need a plan for coping with that. You may find it helpful to explore the <a href="http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/10611629.html">spectrum of consent</a> and assisted decision-making for people with (temporarily or permanently) impaired consent. There are <a href="http://www.justice.nsw.gov.au/diversityservices/Pages/divserv/ds_capacity_tool/ds_capa_decision.aspx">short</a> and <a href="http://www.dhs.vic.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0011/690680/dsd_cis_supporting_decision_making_0212.pdf">long</a> resources for helping people make good decisions.</lj-cut>