determinedThe Ambition Condition: Women, Writing, and the Problem of Success
"Exposed" garnered 1,216 comments on the Times' website before the magazine shut them down less than 24 hours after the article went live. The cause? Overwhelming negativity. Whatever the valid faults of Gould and her article, the attacking comments were unmistakably gendered. "Attention whore," was one favorite catcall. "Get over yourself, sweetheart," advised a commenter. Another scoffed, "You are just a stupid little girl" - a comment 67 others recommended. What's more, the comments were full of parental advice offered as if to a 10-year-old and intended to steer the writer away from, well, writing: "Don't you have important things to do?"; "Like your tattoos, I'm fairly sure you'll regret all this by the time you get into your 40s"; and, "You really want to find some meaning? ... Go to the local VA hospital and volunteer to spend a week changing bedpans and rewrapping dressings. Or try teaching English as a second language to a new immigrant ... or read to the blind."
I have encountered some people who tried to discourage me from writing. I told them what to go do with themselves. I have encountered some people who were dismissive of my writing, its quality, its relevance. I told them what to go do with themselves, and then also classified them as unreliable resources who couldn't identify quality material when hit over the head with it. You know, the kind of people who are so oblivious that if it was raining frogs, they'd just pretend it wasn't happening because it was impossible.
I am what I am, what I have always been. I am a writer by innate talent, profession, and vocation. These things have grown over the years, but they were pretty obvious from the beginning and have become unmistakable since. Plenty of people have noticed these features ... my father actually identified me as a poet before I arrived in his life. So if someone can't identify the obvious when it's right in front of them, that makes me doubt their observation skills, or brains, or cultural boundaries, or all of the above. They're in the category of people who think the Earth is flat and dieting makes you thinner. It doesn't make me doubt myself or my work. How could it? I am what I am.
I've never understood the tendency of many people to downplay what they do well. There are many things I don't do well; you'll not hear me brag about being a great driver or a competent mathematician or a reliable road-trip navigator. I have, as a matter of fact, been told not to be a plumber, at considerable length and volume (and for hydrologically valid reason). But the things I do well, and the things I do best -- I have talents there, and I've worked hard to develop them. If I didn't respect them, they might dwindle. If I didn't tell people about them, they might not get used when they're needed. So, this is me. I'm a writer, not a wallflower. I've been at it for about thirty years, I'm good at what I do, and I expect to keep getting better over time because I haven't stopped learning things and never intend to stop. I'm open to constructive criticism, but not to people who just want to shut me up. It ain't gonna happen.
Don't step in front of an avalanche and dismiss it as a flurry. Fools will be plowed over with great indifference.
November 3 2008, 20:09:26 UTC 12 years ago
The good news is that blowing one's own trumpet is a skill that can be learnt. Good luck with that.
November 4 2008, 04:54:57 UTC 12 years ago
November 5 2008, 01:03:40 UTC 12 years ago
Question: "Who do you think you are?"
Answer: "You know how people are always saying, 'Somebody ought to do something about that!' ...? Well, I'm Somebody."
They blink at me and shut up.