Poem: "Dynamic Play"

>> Waitaminute... you mean people don't normally do this?

Which is to say, that's part of my boot-up routine too and I thought everyone did that! <<

Many people don't do it at all. Some do it at other times. Mine is more freestyle; I'm most prone to it in response to something I've read, which online often prompts me to make long replies after linking something. Or car rides, we get into deep discussions sometimes when we're bored.

>> Huh, well, that makes sense of how some people are... I just thought people were clueless or had really twisted perceptions of reality... the idea they might not be able to recognise and change and adapt when they ran smack into an out-dated notion, didn't occur to me. <<

Yes, this explains a lot. Some people have a mental pencil but no eraser.

Yes, that's true. It is especially true for people whose traits place them near the mainstream more often than not. You get used to being able to just grab things and use them without having to think about it or modify anything. Stan managed to get pretty far before he bonked into something that wasn't quite as expected -- and even then he's just, okay I like boys too, and moved on.

>> Hmm, it occurs to me that's axiomatic that the mind is a muscle, if you don't use it, it gets flabby and atrophied. So, if you just bumble along in the mainstream, accepting without question the preconceptions you're handed, it follows that you wouldn't have the mental muscle or tools to process something that doesn't fit. At which point, most people just sort of glitch, reject the data as faulty, and move on as before. <<

Yes, exactly. That happens a lot.

>> Stan at least integrated the new data about himself, which is slightly better... but I wonder if he's really processed it. <<

He is in the process of discovering a new facet of his sexuality. He can't process it until he explores it. So he's actually integrating a little bit at a time.

>> I mean, he's treating Lawrence as friend... not necessarily as a lover. [or at least, so it seems to me.] <<

No, that really is Stan's customary speed. He's demisexual. He makes friends quickly and lovers very slowly. He was the same with Angelica. Which is fine especially in high school -- holding hands, kissing, going to the movies, etc. is far healthier than hopping in the sack immediately.

What Stan does not realize is that he's one of those bi folks for whom female and male partners feel very different. There's overlap on the social stuff, but when he starts exploring the sexual stuff further, he's going to smack into some things that he thinks he knows but doesn't because they won't feel the same.

>> I suppose Stan isn't necessarily an 8-bit brain though, he does do quite a bit analytical thinking in other respects, just maybe not as introspective as Lawrence is say. <<

They're both quite good at emotional intelligence, but in opposite ways. Stan is good at the interpersonal parts, while Lawrence is good at the intrapersonal parts. Stan hasn't felt much need for deep intrapersonal work, and Lawrence hasn't have much opportunity for healthy interpersonal work. These things are changing, which pushes them to learn new stuff, which is a good thing for both of them.

>> *looks at wedding ring* y'know, I'm okay with that.... <<

Congratulations all around!

>> Those two have a long way to go... but having gotten this far? I think they're going to have to work at it to screw it up irrecoverably. They've got that *trust* thing going... the kind of thing where the words "we need to talk" *don't* provoke an "ohshit" reaction... <<

Yes, that's true. They got such a rocky start, it was all up from there. And the trust is solid because it's something they've chosen to build.

>>They say you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone... I had no idea how powerful *having* that kind of bedrock trust was until I *had it*.

I hope more people find that with their partners, or find partners with that.<<

I hope so too. That's part of why I write some of this stuff.