Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
  • Mood: busy

Poem: "Unset Courses"

This is the freebie for today's fishbowl, inspired by [personal profile] alexseanchai. It also fills the "relabeling" square in my 5-20-15 card for the Wellness Toolbox Bingo fest. This poem belongs to the series Path of the Paladins.


"Unset Courses"
-- a villanova


All his life he's served Gorrein,
Following from road to range,
Through the pleasure and the pain.

Weather turns from snow to rain.
Nahum knows that he must change ...
All his life he's served Gorrein.

Nahum works with thong and cane,
Though repairs are new and strange,
Through the pleasure and the pain.

All his life he's served Gorrein,
Through the pleasure and the pain.
Nahum peels himself
away from the old memories.

They hurt, coming loose, like bark
stripped from a tree, full of splinters.
He serves Gorrein no more.

All his former courses are unset.
Nahum cuts a new faith
into the surface of his soul.

He does not know how to serve Yasun
or keep a roadside shrine,
but he is determined to learn.

* * *

Notes:

The villanelle is a rhymed, metered form of 19 lines which suits a structured theme.

I used that as inspiration to invent the villanova, which starts out rhymed and metered but then breaks into free verse to represent a stark change of mindset. The first 11 lines are rhymed and metered, the last 11 free verse:
A1 b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / A1 A2 c d / e f g h / i j k l

Relabeling is a coping skill to change rigid or negative thoughts into something more flexible or positive. In this case, Nahum is redefining his religious allegiance.
Tags: cyberfunded creativity, fantasy, fishbowl, life lessons, poem, poetry, reading, spirituality, weblit, writing
Subscribe

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    switch
    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
    Help
  • 8 comments
technoshaman

technoshaman

June 3 2015, 02:27:43 UTC 6 years ago

Oh, there you are, Nahum! Yeah, this won't be easy, mate, but it beats what you had before...
ysabetwordsmith

Yes...

ysabetwordsmith

June 3 2015, 02:30:29 UTC 6 years ago

Growth hurts, but if you're going in the right direction, it gets more bearable over time. Compare that with going in the wrong direction and how things just get worse.
technoshaman

Re: Yes...

technoshaman

June 3 2015, 02:43:05 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah, I kinda noticed that once I set out in a certain set of directions the Universe's clue-bats hurt less and less...
ysabetwordsmith

Re: Yes...

ysabetwordsmith

June 3 2015, 02:44:16 UTC 6 years ago

That's a good sign.