Hard Things

I've moved house and am now living on my own. I am learning what living alone and what being in one's own company mean to me. I am (trying) to learn how to be kind and compassionate towards myself and that is hard because I am the one who tries to Be There for Everyone Else.

YAY! Been there, done that. I am often the one who's there for folks, but those last few months before being on my own, I was just keeping my head down, trying not to get hit by the flying (virtual) debris of two soon-to-be anger management patients... it was such a relief to get OUT.

Funny how things eventually turned out, but that's a whole 'nother story; let's just say that that time on my own was the best thing I ever did for myself up to that point.

Best wishes to you!

Thank you.

Some of the fear was that I had this unfortunate tendency to be blamed for a lot of things even though I probably worked harder than everyone else to be good. People were far harsher on me than others. It's the sort of bad luck that also has me scared that I'll be blamed for an accident or be the victim of a road rage attack- and people will tell me I deserved it due to being stupid. It's a lie I was painted with, and I'm going to break it down. I don't have to be a failure or the one at fault for everything.
Thank you.
What to study is tricky, because I love health and I love writing. When I applied for Health Science, a very generic and community-driven BSc, I freaked out over the next week. I'm rather odd that while I enjoyed Human Biology and English in high school and was curious about psychology, I had very little interest in sociological and commercial subjects- I can't stand political discussions and gossip- and I can only do basic math.
I thought I wanted to help people and save lives and thought becoming a human rights/environmental lawyer and, later, becoming a nurse was the way to do it. I think I still want to help others and save lives, but not necessarily being in the front line- I think I would shatter. Biomedical sciences, psychology, mass communications.
I once studied English and while I love analysing things, I just got annoyed when people were insisting their readings were right and boasting about their 'favourite' philosophers very competitively: I want to learn new things and enjoy it, with like-minded people, not be the 'cleverest' or the one with the most friends.