Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
  • Mood: thoughtful

Social Proficiency Test

My total life experience is socially variable. It took a long time for my ethics to grow in. It took many years for me to find people I liked enough to consider real friends. But for a long time now, people have been telling me how nice I am. That's not really how I think of myself. I try not to cause gratuitous harm, but I speak my mind openly and have little patience for fools. So I thought this test might be interesting.

Your result for The Social Proficiency Test...

SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

You scored a total of 35 out of 43!

You know how to work your circle of friends and are always polite and intensely interested in what they have to say. You aren't driven by personal gain but instead by a genuine interest in people. However, sometimes your overt friendliness can make you seem a little on the fake side, but that is VERY rare.

Take The Social Proficiency Test at HelloQuizzy



A lot of my real answers weren't even on there. I do know how to work with friends, and I'm keenly interested in them. I'm not always polite; while some people see me that way, others complain that I'm too harsh. (So is Comet, but trust me, SoftScrub ain't getting dried blackberry juice off the counter.) I don't think anyone has ever accused me of being fake.

So ... I dunno. Most of the people who describe me are biased one way or another. The test doesn't really cover me. And my own perceptions in this regard may well be skewed by the inclusion of long-term data that is less accurate than shorter-term data.


Some general principles:

I strongly prefer honesty to lying, even when lying is expected for sake of politeness. But if threatened, I can fling up some truly impenetrable verbal camouflage.

Speak the truth gently if possible, firmly if necessary.

If you want to meet interesting people, become an interesting person yourself. Then other interesting people will want to meet you.

Offer a favor before requesting a favor.

In most situations, I'm an introvert; I don't mesh well with mainstream society. But put me in the right context and I'm an extrovert, and people gravitate to me strongly.

If you annoy me, you'll get one polite warning, one firm warning, and then will be reclassified as a legitimate target.

I would rather be peeled and dipped in lemon juice than listen to girltalk. I do not care who is doing whom unless we are discussing Greek mythology.

I choose to call a spade a spade. If you ask my opinion, you'll usually get it. Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.


Maybe Doug said it best: I'm not obnoxious, I'm differently civilized. I have rules that I follow. I just didn't get them all from around here.
Tags: personal, survey
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  • 7 comments
bodhifox

bodhifox

September 17 2008, 05:09:59 UTC 12 years ago

If you want to meet interesting people, become an interesting person yourself. Then other interesting people will want to meet you.

Hear, hear.
browngirl

browngirl

September 17 2008, 15:54:23 UTC 12 years ago

I would rather be peeled and dipped in lemon juice than listen to girltalk. I do not care who is doing whom unless we are discussing Greek mythology.

It's such a shame that that and related fripperies have been defined as 'girltalk', isn't it? When I was younger I knew several girls who declared that they didn't like talking to girls, only boys, and I realized that what they were trying to avoid was 'girltalk'.

(I did read the whole thing, that was just my comment. :)
ysabetwordsmith

Yes!

ysabetwordsmith

September 17 2008, 16:34:05 UTC 12 years ago

It sure is a shame. The problem is, that isn't just a stereotype. A whole lot of the time, when females above the age of 9-10 are talking, the topic will be:
* boys/men
* babies/children
* fashion/makeup/other appearance issues
and/or
* shopping

I so don't care. I've heard people doing that from junior high on, and it just bores me to death. I can put up with it for a while if they're people I actually care about -- frex, I enjoy hearing haikujaguar talk about her daughter, but if that's all her blog was about, I wouldn't be reading it every day.

There is sound basis behind the Lesbian guide to good movies. Such a movie must have:
* two or more women
* who talk to each other
* about something other than a man.
browngirl

Re: Yes!

browngirl

September 17 2008, 16:42:54 UTC 12 years ago

*nods in agreement* Well, it is a stereotype -- a stereotype women have bought into. Internalized oppression.

And it's also an interesting trap, because... so now that I live with two children I talk about them, because they're in my life, just like I talk about my job and my hobbies and my other loved ones. And then I hear myself, and wonder who might be rolling their eyes behind me, thinking all I can talk about is 'girltalk', and if they may be right. *contemplates*

Anyway. My musings aside... yes, the Bechdel test is awesome and useful, isn't it?
ysabetwordsmith

Re: Yes!

ysabetwordsmith

September 17 2008, 17:20:14 UTC 12 years ago

I think the key is proportion. You and I cross paths on most days, reading various entries in each other's journals. I've read your posts about your children and probably commented once or twice. But we've also talked about poetry, Minoan culture, racism, classism, ancient and modern religions, politics, and all kinds of other stuff. There's nothing wrong with talking about children, sex, shopping, etc. But if that's all someone is talking about, it's not optimum.
bbwoof

bbwoof

September 19 2008, 03:20:29 UTC 12 years ago

If you annoy me, you'll get one polite warning, one firm warning, and then will be reclassified as a legitimate target.

Say... I like that. Perhaps because it's so complementary to my own Personal Survival Philosophy:
1) Humans are the dominant specie on this planet. They did not become so by eating leaves; they became so by being more dangerous than any other species.
2) Humans are, therefore, too dangerous to annoy unnecessarily.
3) Should it become necessary to annoy a human, be prepared to use deadly force in self-defense from that moment forward -- for the rest of your life, or his.
ysabetwordsmith

Yes!

ysabetwordsmith

September 19 2008, 03:41:52 UTC 12 years ago

I like your version too.

There's another one that's part of a (mostly very practical, not quite ruthless but minimally ruth) Satanist credo; see item #11.

Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth:
1 Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
2 Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure that they want to hear them.
3 When in another's lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
4 If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
5 Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
6 Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the person and he cries out to be relieved.
7 Acknowledge the power of magic if you have used it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
8 Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
9 Do not harm little children.
10 Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food.
11 When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.