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Poem: "Inifinitesimal Divinities" - The Wordsmith's Forge — LiveJournal
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
Poem: "Inifinitesimal Divinities"

This poem came out of the December 3, 2013 Poetry Fishbowl.  It was inspired by a prompt from Dreamwidth user Jjhunter.  It has been sponsored by lb_lee.  You can read more about the indriso form online.


Infinitesimal Divinities
-- an indriso


How many angels dance upon a pin?
How many iron atoms make a head?
Does God transcend the world, or dwell within?

A circle dance is held, but never led:
Each dancer's hand is clasped in its own spin,
A stranger charm than any priests have said.

Twixt science and religion, veils run thin,

And God holds every atom as they tread.

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8 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
From: technoshaman Date: December 6th, 2013 11:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Veil, schmeil. *smiles* Quarky little poem... :)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 7th, 2013 01:15 am (UTC) (Link)

*laugh*

I'm glad you liked it.
primeideal.dreamwidth.org From: primeideal.dreamwidth.org Date: December 7th, 2013 02:16 am (UTC) (Link)
Really appreciated the rhymes here, this was clever. Well done!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 7th, 2013 02:21 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I enjoy rhymed poetry, so I'm glad to find another fan of it. The indriso is one of my favorite forms for short punchy ideas. It's basically a distilled sonnet.
primeideal.dreamwidth.org From: primeideal.dreamwidth.org Date: December 7th, 2013 02:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't really know that form, I'll maybe look into it. Are you familiar with (English-language) ghazals? (Maybe that should be my prompt next time.)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 7th, 2013 02:31 am (UTC) (Link)

Yes...

>> I don't really know that form, I'll maybe look into it. <<

I put a link in that poem so people can read about the form. I've written a fair number of these; if you google "indriso Wordsmith's Forge" you can find the published ones.

>> Are you familiar with (English-language) ghazals? <<

Yes, and the original Middle Eastern roots. I love ethnic forms. This is one where it's really hard to get the same impact in English, though. I tend to go with khazal instead -- a closely related form borrowed from my main fantasy world. Here's an example, "Piraan." Here's a mention of ghazal and khazal forms, along with a discussion of other ethnic poetry.

>> (Maybe that should be my prompt next time.) <<

Sure, go for it. You can always request a favorite poetic form. If you call for ghazal, I'll match the form as best I can. I've written Welsh forms in English, and those are harder.
natf From: natf Date: December 8th, 2013 03:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
I am not usually one for lots of rhyming (although I do like Shakespeare's iambic pentameter) but love how punchy the indriso can be. Also, I am loving the themes of this irreverant fishbowl!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 8th, 2013 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thoughts

>> I am not usually one for lots of rhyming <<

That's okay; some people find it distracting.

>> (although I do like Shakespeare's iambic pentameter) <<

It's very good for serious subjects. I've written a number of sonnets and really like the form ...

>> but love how punchy the indriso can be. <<

... and its miniaturized version, for this reason.

>> Also, I am loving the themes of this irreverant fishbowl! <<

Yay! It did go to some fascinating places.
8 comments or Leave a comment