Asexuality and Polyamory

I learned a long time ago to treat someone's sexual orientation as current, not necessarily permanent. Doesn't matter if it's a phase or forever, it's where they are now.

Because the first time a friend who thought he was gay, shifted into het mode and made a pass at me, I was really caught off-guard; it was like having a table come onto me. I didn't want that to happen again, so I changed the way I was filing people's orientations in my head.

Over the years, I've seen plenty of folks change one or another aspect of their sexuality, usually not on purpose. Some do, some don't. It's all fine.

And yes, I've also known ace friends who were in poly relationships. It can be really great to have someone in the family who is not busy with sex and therefore has that energy to devote elsewhere. Compatibility? Polyfolk don't have a fetish for lots of sex, they have a fetish for lots of communication. If you're into that, it has a high chance of working. Actually they also tend to be into cuddles and romantic gestures of affection too, which are things some asexual folks really enjoy. It's just a matter of finding the right family.

>> I could see where that would get your attention, and not necessarily pleasantly. <<

He was a great guy, and I liked him a lot. But the sudden tilt was very disconcerting.

>> Besides, love is unlimited. *Time* is _not_. <<

True, of course. It helps if people like doing a lot of things together, or else have widely divergent tastes that they trade off with different people. *chuckle* We have a couple of friends that, when we're together, we often swap partners for hobby purposes. It confuses people who see us that way.

That can work.

That matches my observations. People's latent potential is often wider than their active range. So if they're in a repressive environment, their range of attraction or activity may contract; while if they're in a tolerant environment, it may expand. Also the more different people they meet, the higher the chance of meeting someone who's an exception to their rules.

That's another thing: people vary in terms of how important they consider each aspect of sexuality, and how important sexuality is in their life and identity. A lot of misunderstandings happen because somebody doesn't understand why another person's rankings are different from their own.