Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith

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If Furniture Could Talk ...

I read this, and it made me wonder:

If furniture could talk, what would yours be saying?

Our living room furniture is very nurturing. Sometimes more nurturing than we want. I'm not sure if the couch is more like a hypnotist or a Polish mother, but it's called "The Pagan-Eating Couch" because it tends to make people fall asleep. Even if they have insomnia, a nervous breakdown, or hair-trigger reflexes.

I'm pretty sure the bookcases would say, "More input, please."

The Borg Cube entertainment center: "1100101011."

The kitchen table is a battered old farm table of real wood, with a couple of extra leaves that can be inserted. It would probably say, "Get your crap off my back." It tends to get buried under mail and stuff.

The upstairs bed? Yeah, that one would just complain. It's a wreck of a bed.
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  • 14 comments
I think our bookcases would say, "Captain, we can't hold no more!" In a bad imitation of Scotty's accent from TOS. (There're 3 of them and thet're crammed full and we still have lots of books in boxes.)

The kitchen table would complain that it's neglected under piles of crap we save but never look at.

The couch would offer to cuddle us- it's very comfortable and long enough for me to stretch out to take a nap with no discomfort.

My conputer would probably complain of a crick in its neck since the monitor is constantly moved to accomodate everyone's differing heights.

and my coffee table would remind me that candles, jewelry, and junk mail are not coffee!

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