Depression and Diversity

>>Oddly, I have and can do all three of those things but I need to *know* which one is wanted.<<

I do much better when people tell me what they want than when they just start talking and expect me to guess.

>>Since I've acknowledged this Depression issue, I've become aware that I may do too much inserting of my own experience into a given situation<<

One of the things I've learned is that different people respond to the same situation in very different ways. A solution that would work for me may not work for the other person, whereas something I find useless might do the trick for them. So I try to take into account their personality and worldview before suggesting possibilities.

I will add that one thing which snaps my patience completely is someone who wants to whine about their problems but refuses to do anything to fix them, particularly when personal problems are spilling over into public space and becoming everyone's problems.

>> I have not yet figured out how to do this in personal life without the person I'm talking to getting pissed off at me, because whether it's a listen situation or a do situation is something that you are apparently just supposed to know, and if you have to ask, apparently your reaction will be considered inauthentic. <<

There's a gap between "ask culture" and "hint culture." The hint people expect you to intuit the answer, and if you get it wrong, they get very huffy. They don't seem to understand that A) not everyone is good at that kind of interpretation, and B) their own accuracy isn't always as good as they think it is and that annoys other people too.

If people won't clarify their needs when I ask for more information, I figure they have no grounds to complain if I give them something other than the response they wanted.

>>On the other side, I also try to say "There isn't anything I want you to do for me, I am just venting" if that's the case. I hope I can save someone else some confusion by doing that.<<

I do that on the rare occasions when I just need someone to listen or to acknowledge. Most of the time, I want problem-solving. When it's simply a matter of managing emotions and there's nothing to be done about it, I almost always do better on my own than by involving other people.

>>Anymore, tho, I tend to default to listening and acknowledging, because my social circle seems to be biased towards problem-solvers, so I've found a bit of a niche for myself in that role.<<

Oh, that's a good idea. There are some areas where I have multiple applicable skills, and I'll switch to the one least available.

>>I loved this article so much, fits so well with my own experiences as someone who's been down that hole and back up a few times. Some of the best, darkest humour I've seen in ages.<<

Yeah, "I am depressed; my emotional fish are dead" could be the next "I have no spoons to deal with that." Very useful.

This is useful. I have linked it.