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The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
What PTSD Is
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lb_lee From: lb_lee Date: March 20th, 2013 11:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Now look at the part where it talks about society not being a safe place, everyone's out to get each other, no trustworthy connections, no safety net if something goes wrong, nobody to care if you live or die.

I admit, I've been having a lot of these thoughts since I fell off the money ladder and entered the disability application process. Like, I'm extremely lucky, in that I have pretty good health insurance and a lot of people who love me, but I'm still living in that damn crawl space, and I'm likely to be there for another six months, at least. (I never imagined my dreams at the age of twenty-five would involve four walls and a window.)

Like, it's bad enough if I'm just spectacularly unlucky, right, but the horrible thought is that I'm LUCKY. I would never, ever want anyone else to go through what I've been going through the past year, and I've never even hit the rock bottom of true homelessness.

And I wonder, was the system always this bad? I haven't been around long enough to know. The world just feels like a cold, vicious place, and I hate the thought that I'm coming out LUCKY on the stack!

--Rogan
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 20th, 2013 11:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thoughts

>> (I never imagined my dreams at the age of twenty-five would involve four walls and a window.) <<

And that's what the American Dream has come down to, hoping you have health insurance and a roof of some kind. It's a disgrace.

>>And I wonder, was the system always this bad?<<

No. Very early on, it was a great deal worse. Then people decided that was untenable, so they made it quite a lot better. Now people think it's okay to let someone suffer and die if he can't do anything you want, so things are getting pretty bad.

>> The world just feels like a cold, vicious place, and I hate the thought that I'm coming out LUCKY on the stack! <<

One thing that worries me is how much effort it takes to get any kind of help. A great many people who need help do not have the time, money, energy, or other resources to fight with the system in hopes of maybe wringing loose something that will make them feel better. So if they don't have a friend or family member to do that for them, they often go untreated. Which does actually cause problems for bystanders even if people don't realize that.
cissa From: cissa Date: March 24th, 2013 01:00 am (UTC) (Link)
I am convinced that if i grow old, I will be living on the street and rely on a cat to catch me pigeons to eat. (This is based on a Doris Lessing story that obviously had a serious impact.)

My husband tells me that's crazy... but I remain convinced. I just don't believe anyone has my back, and that's PTSD talking.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 25th, 2013 02:19 am (UTC) (Link)

Well...

What bothers me is the tendency to skid along the spectrum from "good world" to "bad world." PTSD is, at heart, an adaptation for survival in a very dangerous situation, that becomes a problem when it can't shut off in a less-dangerous situation. But sometimes the world really is a mess, sometimes people will hurt you and nobody will care if you die. That's a bad thing. It's even worse when people lie about it and say there's help when there isn't, or when the "help" actually makes things worse. Because then, if there's already a disconnect between the events in the world and the perception of the world, that gets worse when the false information doesn't match the events.

I want to live in a world that doesn't randomly break people. What I actually have is a world that's so erratic in its performance that trying to predict it is like trying to predict whether the psycho boyfriend is in the mood for flowers or fists. That's a problem.
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