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The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
What PTSD Is
19 comments or Leave a comment
(Deleted comment)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 20th, 2013 08:12 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thoughts

>>I know that *intellectually*,<<

There's a long hard way between knowing and feeling.

>> but there were thirty odd of us all told, and sometimes, when I'm feeling especially broken I can't help but feel angry at them for not even noticed I was being broken by the cases i was dealing with. <<

Sooth. It may be that you hid it well; you're a strong person. It may be that some of them really didn't care. It's downright likely that some of them didn't see how wrecked you were, because they were wrecked too, just not showing it noticeably; it's often the case in groups that some damage will be more visible than others.

>>Both the personal (the suicide of a friend & the death in a RTA of another that forced me to pull away from part of my support structure) and the day in, day out deaths in Afghanistan, some for the stupidest reasons - and some because no one had read our reports yet.<<

Yeah, that last bit is really hard. Lack of accurate information can be fatal. I think people don't realize how crucial knowledge is. One of the things I deal with least well is problems caused by other people's ignorance or indifference in the face of knowledge that I have.
(Deleted comment)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 20th, 2013 09:38 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thoughts

>>I think the incidents that stick worst in my mind are the ones that involve egregious cases of that.<<

Sooth. That's always going to hurt.

>>and that kind of detail coupled with a mind used to meditations/trances and fabricating worlds for writing?<<

Yyyyeah ... that's a problem. That kind of mindset can tear itself apart under the wrong circumstances. The strength and the weakness of the power are the same thing; like the way super hearing makes it possible to hear a lost person from a distance, but also makes sirens a misery. There are things I try to limit my exposure to for that kind of reason.

>>On the slightly brighter side of things, later this year I should be attending a chronic pain programme specifically geared for people with PTSD, despite technically not fufilling the diagnostic criteria on the UK psych manuals, as my secondary care professionals agree its the best course of treatment for me they can offer.<<

Good luck with it!

A lot of mental health care comes down to "We don't really know what's going on because the mind isn't something we can X-ray but this is the best we've been able to figure out as a solution." Sometimes it helps. It's just so much harder to fix things that can't be touched directly with what most people have available.
(Deleted comment)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 22nd, 2013 02:24 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thoughts

So much that people need is either unavailable, or available only with the permission of people who don't always have their best interests at heart. It's very frustrating.
19 comments or Leave a comment