?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile PenUltimate Productions Website Previous Previous Next Next
The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
What PTSD Is
19 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
ravan From: ravan Date: March 20th, 2013 04:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Hypervigilance. I had that for years after I graduated high school. Mistrust, cynicism, paranoia - yep, all from bullying. What's worse, every time I end up with a corporate bully for a boss, I end up re-triggered, and stressed.

So I am an iconoclast, the person who questions, who tries to protect others, sometimes by being the one to say "The Emperor has no clothes!" I've already been burned out several times.

Coming close to homelessness, being accosted on the street, starving, just more crap in the mill. That's why I can't even relate to the "Devil take the hindmost" attitude, because I've spent too much time as the hindmost, and I take it very personally.

The only reason suicide has never appealed to me is that it would give the bastards too much of a victory. Some years I kept living out of sheer spite.

My way of dealing with it is seeing making at least one person's life easier, better, happier as I go through my day as a victory. Answer a question, give someone a tool, tell a joke, make a pun, or just listen to their problems counts.

If I didn't have that, I'd be batshit crazy looking for a bell tower.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 20th, 2013 05:37 am (UTC) (Link)

Thoughts

>>Hypervigilance. I had that for years after I graduated high school. Mistrust, cynicism, paranoia - yep, all from bullying. What's worse, every time I end up with a corporate bully for a boss, I end up re-triggered, and stressed.<<

That probably happens far more than most people realize.

>>So I am an iconoclast, the person who questions, who tries to protect others, sometimes by being the one to say "The Emperor has no clothes!" I've already been burned out several times.<<

Yea, verily.

>>My way of dealing with it is seeing making at least one person's life easier, better, happier as I go through my day as a victory. Answer a question, give someone a tool, tell a joke, make a pun, or just listen to their problems counts.<<

It's important to make a difference.

For all the times people have fucked me over, walked away, told lies behind my back, left me to do all the work ... I'm still the one they come to when they don't know what the fuck to do. Now that's what they call irony.
lb_lee From: lb_lee Date: March 20th, 2013 09:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Some years I kept living out of sheer spite.

Hey, don't knock it if it works. I'm specifically making myself responsible for some things (including a webcomic) as a safeguard against suicide. For me, duty > everything.

--Rogan
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 20th, 2013 10:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes...

>>Hey, don't knock it if it works.<<

Agreed. Do what works for you.

>> I'm specifically making myself responsible for some things (including a webcomic) as a safeguard against suicide. For me, duty > everything.
--Rogan <<

It's good to hear that you know how your mind works and can find solutions based on that. Yay for webcomics!
(Deleted comment)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 22nd, 2013 02:23 am (UTC) (Link)

Thoughts

>>For me, it's having had to both piece together what made a friend check out in similar circumstances and deal with my own responses.<<

Useful comparison.

>> Knowing that him doing that broke me so spectacularly ... unless I can guarantee I won't break someone else the same way, my damn sense of responsibility won't let me. <<

I'm glad you're still here. Losing you wouldn't break me, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel trapped in an unbearable life on my account. But I'd miss you if you were gone.
19 comments or Leave a comment