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The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
Poem: "Unintelligent Design"

This poem was from the February 5, 2013 Poetry Fishbowl.  It came from prompts by Shirley Barrette and janetmiles.  It has been sponsored by janetmiles.  You can read more about evolution, intelligent design, and Occam's Razor online.

Unintelligent Design

There are clues, if you pay attention,
indications that the world was not made,
that nature is just an incredibly complex kludge,
hints written deep in the human body.

It's there in the knees,
quadrupeds turned to bipeds,
cartilage that becomes coarse
and then frays away grain by grain
until the ends of the bones grate together.

Somewhere a woman is lying in bed with a new knee,
thinking, "I really want to go home."

It's there in the eyes,
clear lenses that warp and thicken,
becoming opaque in spots
or veils over the whole surface,
until the light fades away like evolution in reverse:
detail to shape to color to shades of gray
to darkness.

Somewhere a man is sitting alone with his trifocals,
wishing there were someone to yell at him.

If God made all this,
then the logical conclusion
is that God is an ignoramus
who clearly failed bioengineering.

Occam's Razor slices through the knotty argument
and declares that, no, there probably isn't any
guiding force behind life on Earth --
only evolution, blind and lame.

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7 comments or Leave a comment
fayanora From: fayanora Date: February 7th, 2013 05:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Pastafarians ("believers" in the Flying Spaghetti Monster) claim that the universe was made by unintelligent design, and that lack of pirates causes global warming.

Then the Discordians say that God is a crazy woman named Eris. She and Her sister Aneris made the universe, and Eris put nipples on the male mammals because she thought it was amusing. She also made the platypus.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 7th, 2013 06:06 am (UTC) (Link)


I note that the Discordian explanation neatly accounts for all the sheer bullshit in the world.
janetmiles From: janetmiles Date: February 7th, 2013 02:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well...

And also for much of the pleasing nonsense, it seems to me.
fayanora From: fayanora Date: February 9th, 2013 01:05 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Well...

Yup. As the Principia Discordia says, "Bullshit makes the flowers grow, and that's beautiful."
janetmiles From: janetmiles Date: February 7th, 2013 02:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I hadn't thought about cataracts, but yeah, those too.

Heh. Bioengineering, biomechanics, civil engineering ("who else would put a toxic waste pipeline next to a playground?"). . . .
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 7th, 2013 04:15 pm (UTC) (Link)


Yeah, I remember the civil engineering one from Spider Robinson.
(Deleted comment)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 8th, 2013 04:37 am (UTC) (Link)


I didn't want to do eyeballs twice, but if there is a God, he clearly did not read the model kit instructions and plugged them in backwards, creating a blind spot. Some other animals have properly assembled eyeballs without that particular flaw.

So it's not just humans who do things like nailing the back onto the bookcase the wrong way.
7 comments or Leave a comment