Why I Interrupt People

As a teacher in a treatment center for troubled teens, I battle this all of the time. I have to fight to get the girls to speak up in front of the guys, and for the guys to not interrupt them.

One of my favorite classes is the all-girls class. Nearly everyone speaks out, and has insightful things to say.

In my mixed gender classes, I have to call on girls specifically, and often stop boys from thundering over them. On occasions where the boy blurts anyway, I try to follow up with the girl. "Do you concur with Johnny's answer? Do you have anything to add or disagree with?" I try to show I am interested in her thoughts.

I've had boys say, "What Mary's trying to say is..." (like in the article) and I've had to say, "Let Mary tell me what she's thinking. Your paperwork does not indicate that you're a registered telepath. And even if you were, no invasion of her privacy."

It's so easy as a teacher to want to get the lesson done in the shortest amount of time, that if you don't watch it, you start relying on the blurters (usually male) and forget to draw out your deeper thinkers, both female and male.

I know the "Talking Stick" is pretty hokey, but it does address this problem.

Oh, I know. They rather make my eyes roll.

But the thing is- it does WORK. The pushy people have a distinct cue when they have to shut up (and can be told to do so when they ignore it), and the more retiring have a distinct cue that says TALK NOW and people will listen.

More subjective approaches do not seem to do as good a job with either of these.

I am coming from the retiring end of the spectrum, while you are clearly the reverse. Cool! Differences are good!

If I am in a talking-stick space, and I don't want to talk much, I can make a terse comment and pass it on. Other people have even just said "Pass" and passed it on. It should be made clear initially that this is absolutely OK (if it is- and if it isn't, there's more problems there than a technical solution can address).

As someone on the retiring end, married to someone who is very talkative- I do not see why I should not be allowed to have a chance to speak because someone else REALLY WANTS to talk. Damn near ALL the time. Maybe they should learn to give other people fair space for expression. I also saw that a lot when I was teaching- some people would do their best to monopolize ALL my time, trying to prevent me from attending to others that also needed help but were not as bold/aggressive.

I am sure that people who want to do most of the talking are very uncomfortable when that's not allowed. I've seen that. I do not really see this as a bad thing; I think it is educational. Yes, even if they are stuck in their misery at NOT getting priority, and thus are not paying attention to anything but their own feelings. But I ask this: if everyone in the group needs to talk most of the time- who is there to listen? Is it even a group?

A talking stick is a technical solution to a real problem- which is mostly that some people monopolize the time/attention of the group, shutting others out. The shutting others out is the crux of the problem.