This poem came out of the January 8, 2013 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a comment from Dreamwidth user Chordatesrock under "A Solitary Secession." It also fills the "au: hooker/porn/stripper" square on my Trope Bingo card. It has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. This poem belongs to the series An Army of One. You can read more about alternative currency online.Format: Poetry
Title: "The Pr0n Lord"
Fandom: Original (An Army of One)
Summary: In an area of space where a bunch of autistic soldiers have recently seceded from the surrounding galactic powers, one man comes up with an unusual choice of alternative currency.
Required Warnings: No standard warnings apply. This poem is not particularly dirty, but it's a bit dingy because it talks about people using pr0n. If that's a turn-off for you, feel free to skip it.
In order to survive,
the secessionists living in the Lacuna
had to find ways of supporting themselves.
The people made of meat needed food,
the people made of machinery needed parts,
and everyone needed ciphernet access.
It was hard enough to meet such needs
in a time of peace when they had been provided free;
it was all the more difficult to manage
with both the Orion and Carinan armies
trying to kill them.
The secessionists were not without resources, though:
they had their skills, many of which were exceptional,
and some of them had cleverly hoarded things
which turned out to be valuable as alternative currency.
One of these was a fellow
who called himself the Lord of Pr0n.
If it involved any kind of erotic activity imaginable,
he had a sample of it somewhere in his archive,
and he'd trade you a copy in exchange for
some protein bars or memory chips.
People laughed, at first,
because it was a ridiculous base for an economy,
but it put the beans on the table
and so they let it ride.
When the Orion high command
somehow managed to track down his station
and ordered an attack,
they were bemused to find that
no one was willing to fire on the Lord of Pr0n
and then their database melted down
so the point was moot.
people stopped laughing
and started typing
~salute~ or ~bow~
when they ciphered him.