The fundamentalists finally succeeded
in bringing about Judgment Day
but they were dismayed when
a multitude of deities arrived
to return the world to its former glory.
From Africa came the sound of a drum,
distant and big as a mountain.
BOOM! went the drum
as the ancestors danced on it.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
With every beat, a black person disappeared.
The fundamentalists began to cheer.
Then White Buffalo Calf Woman
bent down to slit the edges of the world
with Her sharp flint knife.
She rolled it up like an old robe,
wrapping all the wasicu things inside,
and then threw it away. Underneath,
the land was green and good again.
"This is all yours once more," She said
to what remained of Her people.
The fundamentalists began to cry.
The Buddha said nothing.
He simply sat down under a tree,
and all of His followers hurried over
to sit at his feet.
Now the fundamentalists
ran through the crowd of deities
looking desperately for a familiar face.
They were getting really worried.
At last they saw what they were expecting.
"What are all of these white sheep
doing in my flock?" Yaweh demanded.
"Shoo! Shoo! Go back where you came from,"
He said, waving His crook at them.
He herded His little Semitic flock together
and led them all quite far away,
leaving the bewildered masses staring after Him.
"Come along, children," Frigga said firmly
as she gathered up Her gaggle of Nordics,
sorting out the Celts and pushing them toward Herne.
"Look at you, what a disgrace!" Herne said,
shaking His antlered head.
"You can't wear clothes to worship.
It's pretentious and it gets in the way of lovemaking
and people will think you have something wrong with your cock."
With a stamp of His hoof, all the hideous suits vanished.
"But this isn't what we wanted!"
the fundamentalists wailed.
"You should have thought of that
before you summoned everyone, dearie,"
Spider Grandmother said with a silken, indifferent shrug.