January 6th, 2019

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Burned-Out Millennials

 This article talks about a lot of things I keep trying to point out: that life has gotten harder and more miserable and THAT is why people are breaking down. 

Older folks criticize Millennials without realizing younger people don't have the advantages older people grew up with.  Like two parents, let alone an extended family.  Like a church or other spiritual community.  Like clubs, hobbies, and the time to have those things.  Like a reliable job or benefits.  Like childhood friends, neighbors, and other long-term relationships.  Like downtime. 

People are more mobile, more isolated, less physically and mentally healthy, less secure, and more exhausted.  Because duh, when you hack away the support system and surround people with a constant barrage of noise and demand, they will break down.  And it's not their fault, they are not weak or lazy, you have just built a shitty society that breaks people.  
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Mental Load

This cartoon illustrates the burden of mental load.  It's closely related to the concept of emotional labor, and is a leading reason why people -- especially women -- are exhausted so often.

My partner and I divided the workload based on ability and interest.  We share tasks that we both love or both hate.  But most of it is divided because we prefer and are good at different tasks.  That means my partner does the vast majority of the organizing and I do all the vermin control.  It works for us.  Because if we tried to assign those tasks based on crotch shape, it would be an absolute disaster, and we are not idiots.

Now, it doesn't have to be exactly equal in type.  Our balance has shifted back and forth over the years, depending on who was making more of the income.  But the people in a relationship should each be contributing approximately equal effort and receiving approximately equal benefit.  If it's too uneven, that's not stable, and tends to break down over time. 

So think about the balance in your relationships, and for the love of fuck, express your appreciation for whoever does the "thankless" tasks. There is absolutely no reason why they should be thankless.  You are capable of saying "Thank you for doing the dishes" or giving your partner a smooch or whatever other form of appreciation they value.
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Sustainability for Beginners

This fulfills a [community profile] snowflake_challenge wish from [personal profile] independence1776. I thought other folks might enjoy it.


Sustainability tips for beginners:

http://www.globalstewards.org/sustainable-lifestyle.htm

https://stylecaster.com/20-easy-ways-for-beginners-to-help-the-environment/

https://medium.com/wondr-blog/sustainability-in-your-day-to-day-life-a-beginners-guide-to-sustainable-living-8ce2697f680b


Calculate your environmental footprint to learn where you could make changes:

https://www.footprintcalculator.org/

http://ecologicalfootprint.com/



http://www.myfootprint.org/

http://superheroyou.com/15-ways-to-reduce-your-environmental-footprint/


Capsule wardrobes exist in many variations. The core idea is to assemble a small set of clothes that suit all your needs, thus saving you a ton of space and money while reducing the resources you soak up. Even if you don't go all the way, this is a super useful technique for packing your luggage.

https://www.whowhatwear.com/how-to-capsule-wardrobe

http://www.theviviennefiles.com/2016/01/a-whatevers-clean-13-for-all-occasions.html/
http://www.theviviennefiles.com/2015/06/a-whatevers-clean-13-template-for-you.html/

http://www.theviviennefiles.com/a-common-wardrobe/

http://www.theviviennefiles.com/four-by-four-wardrobes/
http://www.theviviennefiles.com/2015/06/another-template-for-4-by-4-capsule.html

http://www.theviviennefiles.com/2017/07/planning-your-complete-wardrobe-1.html/

https://www.whowhatwear.com/how-to-five-piece-french-wardrobe


Sustainable travel:

https://www.eesi.org/topics/public-transit-walking-biking/description

https://www.moneytalksnews.com/slideshows/the-30-cities-with-the-best-public-transit/?all

https://www.walkscore.com/cities-and-neighborhoods/

https://www.bicycling.com/culture/a23676188/best-bike-cities-2018/

https://www.wikihow.com/Reduce-Your-Dependence-on-a-Car
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How to Deal with Writer's Block

This is a wish from [personal profile] mythicmistress in [community profile] snowflake_challenge.  I thought other folks might find it helpful too.


Ways to deal with writer's block:

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Writer%27s-Block

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-Writer%27s-Block

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Writing-Mojo-Back

https://www.wikihow.com/Stay-Inspired-(for-Writers-and-Artists)

https://goinswriter.com/how-to-overcome-writers-block/

https://www.thestorytellingnonprofit.com/blog/25-ways-to-overcome-writers-block/


I don't get the usual uninspired kind of writer's block; I always have ideas out the wazoo. The two obstacles I sometimes encounter are:

* I'm stuck on writing because the story/poem is missing a critical piece. I have learned to set it aside and work on something else, because that thing is going nowhere until I find the missing piece. Usually it takes a few hours or days, but I have some pieces that simmered for decades before getting finished.

* I feel like crap and I'm on a deadline, usually for nonfiction. Write a paragraph, go read fanfic or do something else pleasant to generate energy, write another paragraph. Or just a line if that's all I can manage. It is possible to level-grind through a whole article this way and produce something good.
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How to Care Less About What People Think

[personal profile] marginaliana wished for this in [community profile] snowflake_challenge.

Caring less about what other people think has two aspects, thinking better of yourself and worrying less about others. The first is relatively safe. The second is riskier. First, the moment you assert boundaries, everyone who enjoyed treating you as a doormat will object, sometimes violently. Second, if you take it too far, you can turn into a jerk, which is rarely the goal. With that in mind ...

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Resources on Kindness

[personal profile] spikedluv wishes for people to be kind to each other.  Here are some resources in support of that:

http://www.wisdomcommons.org/virtues/82-kindness

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201712/the-importance-kindness

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/the-science-of-kindness

https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Kind

https://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Kind-Person

https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Friendly-and-Kind

https://wonderopolis.org/wonder/what-is-a-random-act-of-kindness

https://www.bradaronson.com/acts-of-kindness/

http://www.virtuesforlife.com/100-ways-to-be-kinder/