August 3rd, 2012

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Sharing, Or Not

Here's a post about sharing vs. privacy in friendships.

In my observation, some people have a strong need for sharing in friendships and other intimate relationships.  That is how they build  connections, and without it, nothing works for them.

Some people have a strong need for privacy.  They share based on common interests, or if they think the other person could help solve a challenge.  They connect by doing things together or discussing mutually favorite topics.  They don't use sharing as a primary means of connection, and may feel that other people are prying if there is pressure to share more than they want to.  (I'm in this group.)

Some people start out one way and shift over time.  But I don't see it happening a lot.  

Mixed relationships across this boundary are difficult to create and maintain.  And if one person shifts but the other doesn't, usually the relationship breaks.  Some people are worth the effort, though.  Both styles are okay for people who like that sort of thing, and it's not okay to nag someone to be something they're not.

This is why most of my friends are either guys, or girls who don't do much girltalk.  I cannot abide girltalk and all the shaaaaring.
Karavai

Read "Imalye Fotolyi"

You can now read my poem "Imalye Fotolyi" over on Torn World.
Compare two different views of the historic figure Imalye.

If you like this poem and want to see more like it, please consider sending me credits or karma through Torn World's crowdfunding options.  Not a Torn World member, but still want to support the work? I have a permanent PayPal button on my LJ profile page.
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Flight of the Dragonflies

After yesterday's rain, the sky this evening is full of dragonflies the size of my hand.  I suspect they're some kind of darner, as darners often fly at treetop height as these are doing.

Dozens of eastern tailed-blue butterflies are crowding their favorite puddling spot in the driveway.  It was still damp this morning, but I added more water to help it stay that way, and the butterflies are still present in evening.

I also found a dogday cicada skin.  Cicadas often emerge right after a rain.  It's been a poor rising this summer due to the drought; the dry soil is very hard on the cicadas underground.