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The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
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ysabetwordsmith
Schrodinger's Heroes: "Black and Blue in Waxahachie"
Schrodinger's Heroes  is an apocryphal television show about quantum physics and saving the world from alternate dimensions.  Browse the menu post for background on the show and its characters.  This description of a cartoon is an example of  the fan content.


"Black and Blue in Waxahachie"

This cartoon riffs on the tendency of Pat to get pulled over for "driving while black," and points out that racism can have unfortunate consequences for the oppressor. It was originally released in individual 3-frame strips on four sequential days.

Frame 1:  Pat is driving down the road in his very nice car, talking to Ash on his cell phone. Ash: "Pat, Chris just lost contact with the gooney bird." Pat: "Okay, Ash, I'll watch for the signal on my screen."
Frame 2:  Police car appears in Pat's rearview mirror, lights flashing and siren wailing. Pat: "Ash, I'm being pulled over." Ash: "For what?" Pat: "Probably DWB again."
Frame 3:  Policeman leans against Pat's window, saying: "I need to see your driver's license." Pat, keeping both hands on the steering wheel: "It's clipped to the sun visor for your convenience, officer."

Frame 4:  Policeman: "This is a mighty nice car." Pat: "Thanks, my bank thought so too when I asked for a 2-year payment plan."
Frame 5:  Policeman: "You've got a lot of extra gear on that dashboard, boy." Pat: "It's all work-related." A light flashes on a small screen. "Could we take this discussion to the station?" Policeman: "No."
Frame 6:   Pat's cell phone goes straight to speaker mode: "Pat, this is Ash, get a move on. The gooney bird is right behind you."

Frame 7:  Policeman grabs Pat's phone and hangs up. Pat: "I respectfully suggest we move to a safer location because of--"
Frame 8:   The police car is reduced to a flat pancake of metal, the upper part of the image filled by the sound effect *GRONCH*
Frame 9:   Pat: "--the invisible spaceship we've been tracking." Pat's dashboard is now all lit up with blinking lights and a targeting ring on the small screen.

Frame 10:  Policeman stands over flattened car, freaking out. Caption: "Texas police are not noted for their flexible grasp of reality."
Frame 11:  Pat pushes a button on his dashboard. The invisible spaceship is visibly outlined in waves of light. Pat speaks into his cell phone: "Ash, this is Pat. The gooney bird is banded. Please have Chris do the netting. I need to pick up a hitchhiker."
Frame 12:  Pat and the policeman are driving down the road in Pat's car. The policeman is scrunched down in the seat, clutching the safety belt like a life preserver. Pat: "I'll just drop you off at your station." Policeman: *whimper* "Why isn't the army handling this?" Pat: "After what happened the first time, they're scared to come near our compound."

* * *

Note: "Gooney bird" is Ash's code name for the invisible spaceship. Elsewhere the name may refer to an albatross or a C-47 Skytrain warplane. It is also applied to the civilian version of the C-47, the Douglas DC-3 airliner.

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Comments
fayanora From: fayanora Date: November 7th, 2011 08:55 am (UTC) (Link)
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 7th, 2011 08:59 am (UTC) (Link)

Yes...

Every time I see a police car now, I think: GRONCH.

I'm glad you enjoyed this.
fayanora From: fayanora Date: November 7th, 2011 09:04 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yes...

Now I will, too. :-D
From: siliconshaman Date: November 7th, 2011 01:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I admit, I laughed hard enough to scare the cats!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 7th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yay!

That's good to hear.
drewkitty From: drewkitty Date: November 7th, 2011 05:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
. . .

[This LOL has been redacted to comply with applicable policies, regulations and/or laws pertaining to the protection of [redacted]."
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 7th, 2011 06:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I'm glad you liked this.
msminlr From: msminlr Date: November 7th, 2011 11:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Gooney Bird

Wikipedia is short a definition.

The "Gooney Bird" tag is also applied to the civilian version of the C-47, the Douglas DC-3 airliner.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 7th, 2011 11:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Gooney Bird

Thank you! I'll add that. I've also heard it used in cartoons and speculative fiction for a random birdlike creature, but couldn't find a reference for that.
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