busyThis poem came out of the November 1, 2011 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a detailed character prompt from 
marina_bonomi who also sponsored this poem.
"The Steamsmith" is steampunk, and features an odd form of alchemical science; the physics, biology, and other parameters in this setting differ considerably from those in our consensus reality. I've included some vocabulary notes below the poem; the etymology is largely Greek. You can read more about the classical elements online. There is a matching poem, "The Four Humours," which delves into interactions between that alchemical science and various types of people.
Also, I've asked someone to britpick this but it's gotten sponsored before that could be completed. I did make time this morning to run the poem through a British English spellchecker. If anyone spots something that doesn't seem to fit the context, please let me know. I'm a lot more fluent with British than most Americans, but there are still things I miss -- and I'm only somewhat familiar with steampunk as a genre.
It was quite a sensation
when Maryam Smith moved into
the quiet middle-class neighbourhood
full of tailors and bank tellers and tutors.
She didn't come in a hansom with a baggage cart
drawn by a team of ordinary horses,
nor even in a fancy new steam-waggon
with its engine chuffing and whistling
in the brisk London air.
No, she came marching in her own black boots
with her tommies clanking along behind in a parade,
bright gears whirring as they carried her worldly goods
up the front steps of the little brick house.
Her walking stick clicked against the cobblestones
as she came, and she waved it in the air
to organise the tommies in their work,
deft as a conductor directing an orchestra.
The neighbours leaned out of doors and windows
to watch, for they had rarely seen such a sight.
Her white gloves were very crisp
against the smooth dark chocolate of her skin.
When she smiled, her teeth stood out
like almonds in a dark-toasted tea biscuit.
Her hair was done up in dozens of tiny knots
all over her head, fastened with shiny brass fittings.
Gleaming proudly on the lapel of her frock coat
was a pin made of silver and gold --
the silver crescent of the moon for Water and
the gold circle of the sun for Fire,
its edge notched with teeth to form a gear --
the emblem of the Steamsmith guild.
(They hadn't wanted to let her in, of course,
but she was more intelligent and more refined
than any three of them put together,
and after she demonstrated how to
crack light into its component elements,
separating a molecule of phos
into an atom of aer and an atom of pyra,
they would have looked like complete cads
to keep her out, and they couldn't have that.
So Maryam Smith got her guild pin.)
The women in the neighbourhood gossiped,
of course, but it did them little good. She would
disappear into her carriage house for days at a time,
having turned it into a private laboratory
from which colourful plumes of smoke
emerged at unpredictable intervals.
The men swore she would blow the place up,
twiddling around with things a woman
had no business handling,
but she never did.
Then one rainy afternoon,
a steam-carriage sent to pick up a tutor
broke down in the street near her house.
Maryam popped up next to the chauffeur.
"I say, old chap, from the sound of the engine
there's a leak in your hood that's letting in water --
and the least bit of hudor in the arche
will shut your fuel cycle right down,"
she said cheerfully as she propped her umbrella
against the upraised bonnet of the steam-carriage.
With that she stripped off her white leather gloves,
meticulously dried off the engine with her handkerchief,
and wedged a bit of putty into a tiny hole in the bonnet.
"That should do until you get home," said Maryam,
"though you'd best get that hole soldered properly
as soon as possible. Good day, lads!"
She tipped her hat at them and strode away,
leaving the chauffeur and the tutor staring dazedly
as she sprang up the steps to her front door.
The next day, the tutor's wife called with an invitation to tea,
and the chauffeur brought a calling card from his lord,
and that was the end of the rude talk for a while.
* * *
aer -- the element of Air
arche -- a prime steamwork fuel; a molecule consisting of one atom of aer (Air) and two of pyra (Fire). It quits working if exposed to hudor (Water).
hudor -- the element of Water
phos -- light; a molecule consisting of one atom of aer (Air) and one of pyra (Fire)
pyra -- the element of Fire
steamsmith -- an expert in alchemical science and technology
steamwork -- alchemical science and technology
tommies -- automatons, robots, androids; fairly sophisticated models that resemble people
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Re: Thank you!
November 3 2011, 11:00:50 UTC 9 years ago
You know, in a way her background reminds me of another remarkable coloured person, General Dumas, (but I like Maryam's dad better than his).
Now that I think of it, many of my favorite characters cross-dress for 'functional' purposes, I've always had a soft spot for Oscar François de Jarjayes and my favourite roleplaying character is a Rohir, a member of the King's Eored who is passing herself off as a man for obvious reasons (and that's just a couple of them).
Re: Thank you!
November 4 2011, 06:44:32 UTC 9 years ago
I'm gradually feeling things out. We can have fun writing them up.
>> You know, in a way her background reminds me of another remarkable coloured person, General Dumas, (but I like Maryam's dad better than his).<<
I'm pleased that she has two likable yet plausible parents, who are both still living at the time of the first poem. Her father actually did offer to marry her mother, that being his idea of the decent thing to do after getting a woman pregnant; she politely turned him down, preferring to keep their previously established relationship. And that works for them as a family, for sufficiently flexible definitions of "family."
I've been jotting down notes regarding his opinions about how a gentleman should behave. There are all sorts of fascinating hints about religion and science and society and personal responsibility. Some of the old chivalric code of honor is in there, refracted and refined.
>>Now that I think of it, many of my favorite characters cross-dress for 'functional' purposes, I've always had a soft spot for Oscar François de Jarjayes and my favourite roleplaying character is a Rohir, a member of the King's Eored who is passing herself off as a man for obvious reasons (and that's just a couple of them).<<
Yes, I love that sort of thing. I'm also historian enough to know that it happened early and, if not often, repeatedly enough to leave a diversity of tracks. Maryam would probably have had a much easier time if she had abandoned her family, changed her identity, and passed herself off as a man. But that's not her style.
I've been contemplating her sense of self. I wondered whether she was innately trans, in the sense of feeling that she had been born in the wrong body; or if she was simply possessed of traits and skills that her society considers mannish and therefore she dresses the part because that is the social role she has taken on. I'm leaning toward the latter. I suspect that Maryam is simply fluid in ways that few people are, finding her way through life like water pouring through stones. I rather like that about her. She is not easily definable. There are ways in which her culture has vividly imprinted on her ... and yet ways in which it cannot touch her.
And of course, most Trickster figures cross-dress and blur other social lines. There is power in it, which is why it's often discouraged.
Re: Thank you!
November 4 2011, 15:04:23 UTC 9 years ago
Yes! :) it would be wonderful to have a 'shared folder' for world-building and brain-storming. I wonder wheter it could work as a setting for 'mixed media': poetry and prose for instance, I have a few scenes in mind that might coalesce in something more, but the main elements of the setting should be firm for that to work (anything I might write will go by you before being made public, of course).
<<I'm pleased that she has two likable yet plausible parents, who are both still living at the time of the first poem. Her father actually did offer to marry her mother, that being his idea of the decent thing to do after getting a woman pregnant; she politely turned him down, preferring to keep their previously established relationship. And that works for them as a family, for sufficiently flexible definitions of "family." I've been jotting down notes regarding his opinions about how a gentleman should behave. There are all sorts of fascinating hints about religion and science and society and personal responsibility. Some of the old chivalric code of honor is in there, refracted and refined.<< This sounds more and more interesting. :) <<I've been contemplating her sense of self. I wondered whether she was innately trans, in the sense of feeling that she had been born in the wrong body; or if she was simply possessed of traits and skills that her society considers mannish and therefore she dresses the part because that is the social role she has taken on. I'm leaning toward the latter.<< Yes that's how I 'sense' her too. Whatever gets the job done... It's interesting to compare the characters that came out from my involvement in your Poetry Fishbowls. The Origami Mage seems the most at ease in her culture and her role, she nudges and flows, tries to leave things better than she had found them but doesn't 'fight' openly. Fiorenza (on whose birth I had no hand but I feel I've 'adopted' since) is very down-to-earth, she goes her own way when she needs it but she knows the boundaries and seem to know very well how much she can push them before reaching the limits for her village. Maryam might not be smarter than either of the others but she is also cultured, and a big-city woman with a specific set of abilities that are much valued. She knows it, moreover she is on the treshold, half in, half out and knows how to use her different perspective. The variations fascinate me, it's a great journey to see them all develop and grow. Thank you for creating two of them and taking the third one in. :)
Re: Thank you!
November 4 2011, 15:05:28 UTC 9 years ago
Re: Thank you!
November 4 2011, 16:13:06 UTC 9 years ago
Yeah, if we could find a way to make that work conveniently. There are file-sharing options online but I tend to make them all crash. :P We could just pass stuff back and forth. I so need to collate some background material files for this project, as soon as it stops, um, fizzing wildly in my brain and foaming all over everywhere.
>>I wonder wheter it could work as a setting for 'mixed media': poetry and prose for instance, I have a few scenes in mind that might coalesce in something more, but the main elements of the setting should be firm for that to work (anything I might write will go by you before being made public, of course).<<
That would be cool. It's such a big setting, both in terms of global scope and social import. Some stories (whether prose or poetry) are really going to depend on precise scientific details or unique historical twists. Others may be more general or more personal. I am trying to figure out some of the major characteristics of the setting.
>>Yes that's how I 'sense' her too. Whatever gets the job done... <<
*nod* Maryam is pragmatic without being provincial.
>> It's interesting to compare the characters that came out from my involvement in your Poetry Fishbowls. <<
Oh yes, I love doing this! It has come up in various posts, dealing with gender or ethnicity or what-all else. I always have to laugh when someone says that a writer's characters are all just like the writer. Mine aren't even like each other.
>> The Origami Mage seems the most at ease in her culture and her role, she nudges and flows, tries to leave things better than she had found them but doesn't 'fight' openly. <<
Yes. She is a good fit for her culture. So are Shahana and Ari, for all their world is on the rocks right now.
Re: Thank you!
November 4 2011, 19:23:04 UTC 9 years ago
That would be good, I already have a 'Maryam' folder on my PC (most empty now, but I think it will be bulging in no time).
>>as soon as it stops, um, fizzing wildly in my brain and foaming all over everywhere.<<
You too? :D , today I caught myself driving to the wrong place for a job appointment because my brain was in Maryam's London.
Do you have my email address?
Re: Thank you!
November 4 2011, 16:13:40 UTC 9 years ago
>> Fiorenza (on whose birth I had no hand but I feel I've 'adopted' since) is very down-to-earth, she goes her own way when she needs it but she knows the boundaries and seem to know very well how much she can push them before reaching the limits for her village. <<
I think that Fiorenza is almost a good fit for where she is. She just needs that little bit of wiggle room to accommodate being plunked into office at a very young age, and being smarter than most of the folks around her. She is clever and wise and well-versed in the kinds of information that she needs, with a very practical and down-to-earth approach.
You really have had a lot of influence in shaping Fiorenza, particularly the local color that makes her and her village come alive, and the complexities of the character that were only hinted in the first poem. Just adding Don Candido opened up a whole new dimension with interaction between two people who often rub each other the wrong way, but are still essentially on the same side.
>> Maryam might not be smarter than either of the others but she is also cultured, and a big-city woman with a specific set of abilities that are much valued. <<
I think Maryam really is a genius. She has not just a high speed of thought, but that way of thinking around corners that so few people have and generally leaves bystanders wondering what just happened. She also has enough of a knowledge base to maximize that potential. A key difference is that she is -- unlike the Origami Mage or Fiorenza -- a theoretician. She can figure out how and why things work, and use that to do whole new leaps of possibility. I suspect that she's not quite as wise or worldly either; while she isn't foolish or inconsiderate, there are things she'll miss just because she's moving through a complex world and only understands part of it. That's actually an interesting place for growth.
>> She knows it, moreover she is on the threshold, half in, half out and knows how to use her different perspective. <<
Yes, that's both an advantage and a disadvantage. She has more parallax but less acceptance, or at least, she has to fight for the acceptance. She has her preconceptions, as everyone does ... but if they suddenly part company with the observed evidence, she'll probably stop and shake her head and backtrack to see what's really going on.
>>The variations fascinate me, it's a great journey to see them all develop and grow. Thank you for creating two of them and taking the third one in.<<
Sooth. I love the interaction. And I am just thrilled to pieces that you've introduced Maryam and me.
Re: Thank you!
November 4 2011, 19:30:38 UTC 9 years ago
What Maryam isn't is street-wise, I feel her perception of what life is on the streets is theoretical, she *knows*it from her mother but knowing and experiencing are two very different things.
>>She can figure out how and why things work, and use that to do whole new leaps of possibility. I suspect that she's not quite as wise or worldly either; while she isn't foolish or inconsiderate, there are things she'll miss just because she's moving through a complex world and only understands part of it. That's actually an interesting place for growth.<<
Exactly, I'm really looking forward to her development and growth.
Re: Thank you!
November 5 2011, 18:40:56 UTC 9 years ago
I get the impression that Fiorenza just doesn't care much about most abstracts. She's smart enough to do research, it simply doesn't interest her and she has enough intuition that it's rarely needed.
Ironically, I don't think Fiorenza and Maryam would like each other much. Their personalities are oriented in such opposite ways.
>>What Maryam isn't is street-wise, I feel her perception of what life is on the streets is theoretical, she *knows*it from her mother but knowing and experiencing are two very different things.<<
Yyyyeah, she has a British gentleman's awareness of what goes on in a back alley. Almost nil. That could be a useful weakness to exploit.
Her mother has a job as an upper-class maid, whose view of the underclass probably comes more from her own childhood rather than recent experience. So Maryam's knowledge of such things is secondhand at best and more often thirdhand. I'll probably know more about this when I pin down the state of slavery in Britain.
Re: Thank you!
November 5 2011, 18:54:50 UTC 9 years ago
Yes, likely each of them would find the other incomprehensible to booth, never mind that Maryam works with machines and Fiorenza grows things and raises animals.
>>Yyyyeah, she has a British gentleman's awareness of what goes on in a back alley. Almost nil. That could be a useful weakness to exploit.<<
°Nods° that could open quite a few possibilities, yes.
>>Her mother has a job as an upper-class maid, whose view of the underclass probably comes more from her own childhood rather than recent experience.<<
True, but in 'our' Victorian England maids were more or less free game, and more often than not if one found hersef pregnant she was thrown out.
Maryam's father is definitely not average, but her mother might have seen more than one friend working in a different house ending up on the street or in a workhouse.
Re: Thank you!
November 6 2011, 08:35:15 UTC 9 years ago
That depended on the noble(s) who ran the house. There were various schools of thought on this issue, and people argued about it, including but not limited to:
* those who believed in treating people decently regardless of class
* those who didn't care about lower classes, but would not sully their own pure flesh by having sex outside their class
* those who felt that nobility and/or wealth entitled them to do as they damn pleased
When I looked up materials on Victorian culture and what it means to be a gentleman, I found remnants of and references to that argument -- whether nobility depended more or character or on birth, and whether or not the nobles had (or practiced) any degree of responsibility to commoners. That's just as much an issue in Maryam's world as it was in ours, but some of the details vary because the context is different.
>> and more often than not if one found herself pregnant she was thrown out. <<
True, probably in both worlds.
>> Maryam's father is definitely not average,<<
Right. Plenty of his peers find his morality annoying. He's not entirely alone, though; he's just up toward the top end of self-expectations.
>> but her mother might have seen more than one friend working in a different house ending up on the street or in a workhouse.<<
Very likely, yes. She really does have a great job for someone of her skills; I can't blame her for wanting to keep it rather than venture into a different role she knew nothing about.
Also worth mentioning: If you mistreat the help, they become a lot less helpful. They might just be nervous and drop things. They might spit in the soup. They might steal things. They might quit without notice. If they're really upset and opportunity presents, they might take a bribe for information or access to your personal space or what-all else. They certainly aren't liable to stick up for you if you need it. Households with a lord who likes to futter the maids -- especially if they aren't wholly willing -- tend to have a high turnover and other hassles. No amount of wealth or prestige can alleviate those problems entirely, and that was quite well known and often talked about. It made for a lot of gossip because households varied, but most of them had at least one way of treating servants shabbily. Some of the antagonists will likely be this type of upperclass.
Conversely, a household that treats its servants well can attract the best skilled and most loyal ones, often even if the pay isn't as good as some other house offers. The service is usually competent and faithful, and the turnover considerably lower. It's a very subtle form of power to have, because most society personages just don't think of it -- but it's real and it can make a huge different at the right moment. Maryam got this one from both of her parents, different aspects of it, and it's very useful to her.
A service family may have members spread over a number of employers, and servants talk to each other, so they know who the bad and good employers are. You can tell a great deal about a man, based on whether and what his servants say about him.