Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith

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Schrodinger's Heroes: "French Military Victories" (1 of 4)

This is part of my activity for Asexual Awareness Week.

Schrodinger's Heroes is an apocryphal television show about quantum physics and saving the world, set just outside of Waxahachie, Texas in the repurposed Superconducting Supercollider. This lends it very well to crossovers. You'll find it helpful to know the main characters and you can also browse the menu post.

Here is a podcast script crossover with the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series. Quinn, a member of the Schrodinger team, is a vampire of Belle Morte's line. Earlier fanon notes mentioned the tendency to write him as a vampire due to a t-shirt saying, "The sun is trying to kill me." Now Quinn's former master, Jean-Claude, wants permission to land a jet on the Teferact's airstrip. Quinn is not at all enthused by this. With Quinn when the phone rings is Pat, the social organizer for the Schrodinger team and one of Quinn's lovers.


French Military Victories, Part 1


[Pat and Quinn are in Pat's office, where Pat is working on his computer. Quinn's cell phone rings, the ringtone playing "Cold, Cold Toronto." ]

Quinn: "Bonjour. Quinn here."

Jean-Claude: "Bonjour, mon ami."

Quinn: "No."

Jean-Claude: "I beg your pardon? I have not even asked you a question yet, Quinn."

Quinn: "You never call unless you want something from me. Whatever you're about to ask, the answer is NO."

Jean-Claude: [Heavy sigh.] Very well then. I formally request your permission to land my jet on your airstrip."

Quinn: "No. A barren, sandy mountain of NO with cacti sprouting from the top."

Jean-Claude: "Quinn, childe of my making, be reasonable. There is a metaphysical emergency which we are trying very hard to avert."

Quinn: "I so don't care. I left St. Louis so I wouldn't have to care about your crisis-to-crisis lifestyle any more. You may be my old master, but that doesn't give you the right to swan into my life and ruin everything I've managed to make of it."

Jean-Claude: "Truly, Quinn, we would but touch down and be about our business--"

Quinn: "No, you wouldn't. You'd touch down and make a pass at the first female you laid eyes on, which would be Kay, who would probably shoot you on principle."

Jean-Claude: "We will bring with us our bodyguards."

Quinn: "No, you won't, because you aren't coming. And assuming you got past Kay, you would then make a pass at Alex, which would distract her from whatever quantum physical business she might be trying to manage at the time. Your petty little problems won't matter much if the manifold implodes."

Jean-Claude: "Are you still speaking English?"


[To be continued in Part 2 ...]

Tags: activism, fiction, gender studies, holiday, horror, humor, reading, science fiction, weblit, writing
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I'm glad you like this. I had fun writing it.

Yeah, Jean-Claude is several flavors of clueless in this fic.