busySleeping & Other Spacial Closeness
Everyone has a bubble of space around them, its size varying by culture, but usually about arm-length. Strangers and casual acquaintances customarily stay outside that area. Friends and coworkers will touch or slightly overlap edges. Only close friends, lovers, and family members tend to come into very close physical proximity. This is especially true in terms of sleeping, sitting, or traveling in the same space. In fact "sleeping together" is a euphemism for sexual intercourse, precisely because of its intimacy. However, that intimacy can be just as deep -- or deeper -- without involving anything sexual at all.
Putting someone to bed. Interestingly, this activity can happen among people who are just getting to know each other -- most often if someone passes out drunk, but exhaustion can have a similar effect. It's a gesture of caring to put someone to bed rather than leave them where they drop. A milder version involves draping a blanket or coat over a person asleep on a couch or the like.
Sleeping in the same bed. This is an act of shared vulnerability and intimacy. Lovers customarily do this; so do some siblings or friends, especially as children. People may also be driven to share a bed, sleeping bag, etc. for warmth or lack of other accommodations in challenging circumstances.
Watching someone sleep. There is more vulnerability on the part of the sleeper, and more intimacy from the watcher, when only one person is asleep. Parents often watch their children sleep. Lovers sometimes do this with each other, which can be cute or creepy. It's also a guard position, useful for showing that one character seeks to protect another.
Waking someone up from a nightmare. A subtler form of rescue than more physical actions, this is still a gesture of protection and caring. It often leads to comfort afterwards. A typical courtesy between parent and child, or lovers, this can also be an early threshold for characters thrust together unexpectedly if one of them has sturdy daytime walls and a lot of issues. It is common, but often unspoken, among war buddies or veterans, many of whom have nightmares.
Camping or hiking overnight. You wind up sharing a tent, if you're lucky enough to have one, perhaps a blanket or a pile of leaves if you're unlucky. Long-distance wilderneering pushes people to rely on each other as well as share space and more intimate awareness.
Sharing a saddle. Riding a horse or other animal requires a careful coordination of two bodies; adding a third makes it even more complex. The motion usually causes two people to rub against each other constantly, and fighting it throws everyone off-balance. Either you learn to cooperate very closely, or you wind up very uncomfortable. Friends often ride together; lovers and family members sometimes do; but this can also happen with strangers meeting during a rescue. It's a good way to push standoffish characters together.
Sharing car/berth space on a long trip. This is less intimate than riding, but still involves relatively close contact over an extended time. That usually gets people talking, a terrific icebreaker early in a relationship. In established relationships it offers a chance to spend time together and catch up on news.
Re: Well...
October 27 2011, 12:17:44 UTC 9 years ago
what saddle are you thinking of that makes it okay?
horses are not known for being more tolerant in emergencies. what mount is?
it's true that if you are pulling away from someone else on horseback you will irritate the horse, but the likeliest course ime is really that you'll fall off.
Re: Well...
October 27 2011, 22:03:12 UTC 9 years ago
A courting saddle is designed for two people. I've seen pictures in books, though I couldn't find one online. Also, it's a lot easier to ride double on some styles, such as English, than on others, such as Western.
Also, I said "mount" rather than "horse" -- a camel, elephant, etc. can bear more weight. For that matter, a medium or heavy horse can carry more than the light saddle or racing breeds.
>>horses are not known for being more tolerant in emergencies. what mount is?<<
That depends on the training. A warhorse is trained to tolerate things that would panic an untrained horse. Other contexts may choose different approaches with similar results. Trying to pull a second person onto an ordinary riding horse in the middle of an ambush may wind up with both people on the ground -- but that doesn't mean it's the only thing that can ever happen.
>>it's true that if you are pulling away from someone else on horseback you will irritate the horse, but the likeliest course ime is really that you'll fall off.<<
Which is a different story, and also worth exploring.
Re: Well...
October 27 2011, 22:30:30 UTC 9 years ago
i love the image of someone trying to haul someone up onto elephant-back!
my stjarni is of warhorse stock. (the genuine viking article from iceland.) he's short but very big-boned, has uncomplainingly carried close to 300# of rider and tack, and he tolerates helicopters, coyotes, children, and guns. but he is certainly quite exceptional among horses i have known.
thanks for the topic discussion, it has given me tons of ideas :) :) :)