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Poem: "Redemption" - The Wordsmith's Forge — LiveJournal
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
Poem: "Redemption"

This poem was prompted by wyld_dandelyon and janetmiles, and sponsored by janetmiles.  It also draws on personal experience, when a covenmate passed away.  The "Third Road" is a reference to the path that leads, not to Heaven or Hell, but to Faery and the Summerland beyond.


Redemption


The young Pagan man gazed at the two gates,
one of gold and pearl,
one of iron and onyx.

He looked down at the coupon in his hand:
Last Rites:
Get out of Hell free!
Remit one.

Then he turned to the frayed soul behind him,
a teenager dead from overdose,
lank hair swinging around a pinched face.
"Hey, kid, do you want this?
I'm headed for Summerland myself."

A tentative nod answered his question.
He pressed the coupon into the waiting hand.
The teenager's tired eyes turned toward the bright gate.

The Pagan soul stepped out of the line
and strolled away down the Third Road,
a winding path fringed with blackberries and apple trees
soon disappearing into the undergrowth.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Current Mood: busy busy

30 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
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ladymondegreen From: ladymondegreen Date: August 2nd, 2011 09:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's lovely.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 4th, 2011 10:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I'm happy to hear that.
queenmaggie From: queenmaggie Date: August 2nd, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
That is a delightful image. Brightness!!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 2nd, 2011 09:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I'm glad you like this.

Poetry fishbowl is still open for prompts, too.
From: minor_architect Date: August 2nd, 2011 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was hoping this one would get sponsored...the thumbnail description you posted earlier kinda hooked me. ;)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 2nd, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes...

It turned into a fast grab, which is always a good sign; and I'm very pleased that I get to share this one.
moonwolf1988 From: moonwolf1988 Date: August 2nd, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's beautiful.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 4th, 2011 10:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yay!

I'm glad you like it!
From: angela_n_hunt Date: August 2nd, 2011 09:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love this SO much.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 4th, 2011 10:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I'm happy to hear that.
From: siliconshaman Date: August 2nd, 2011 11:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
*grins*

yup, sounds about right..
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 2nd, 2011 11:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I'm glad you like this.
(Deleted comment)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 3rd, 2011 12:09 am (UTC) (Link)

Yes...

There are always other options. People are just taught not to see them. I subvert that malware whenever I can.
fayanora From: fayanora Date: August 3rd, 2011 12:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Iron and onyx? Is that a historical description of the gates of Hell? I wonder because in the Yahgahn culture of Traipah, and a lot of the rest of the planet, black and white have opposite associations. Neither is actually associated with evil, but black is positive and white is negative. And Shao'Kehn (Djao'Kain) is associated with both onyx and with fire.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 4th, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hmm...

>>Iron and onyx? Is that a historical description of the gates of Hell? <<

Yes and no. I haven't seen them combined like that, specifically; but I've seen references to each separately, and illustrations of the gates of Hell are usually done in black. It seemed plausible -- and a good reversal of the gates to Heaven, which are traditionally pearl and/or gold.
fayanora From: fayanora Date: August 3rd, 2011 12:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Awesome poem, by the way.
eseme From: eseme Date: August 3rd, 2011 01:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I do love the idea of options, and helping others. Great poem.
janetmiles From: janetmiles Date: August 3rd, 2011 01:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, most excellent. I admit I was kind of hoping for something a little bit sillier ("Why do I have this coupon? Did someone in the Main Office get the wrong mailing list?"), but this is very satisfying.
aldersprig From: aldersprig Date: August 3rd, 2011 02:38 am (UTC) (Link)
I... really liked this. Not just for the Third Option, but for the Good, the truly good, in giving the kid a last second chance.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 4th, 2011 10:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yes...

Sometimes it happens that way. I'm glad you enjoyed this.
mdlbear From: mdlbear Date: August 3rd, 2011 03:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Very nice. I've always been fascinated by the third road.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 3rd, 2011 03:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Yes...

The Third Road holds a great deal of attraction for me too; I enjoy following it through its appearances in folklore.
cflute From: cflute Date: August 3rd, 2011 05:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I absolutely love this! It's fabulous.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 3rd, 2011 06:35 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I'm delighted to hear that.
laffingkat From: laffingkat Date: August 3rd, 2011 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Hooray for the Third Road and seeking other options! Nice that someone else gets an extra option here too.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: August 3rd, 2011 07:00 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

Yes, sometimes salvation comes upon us all unlooked-for.
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