This poem came from the June 7, 2011 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from idhren24 about asexuals changing their place in society by writing about it. It was sponsored by janetmiles and idhren24. As the title implies, this is an epistolary poem, which is a type of prose poem. It starts out formal and winds up silly. Once I had personified Society as a terrible housemate, I couldn't resist the Sherlock Holmes reference at the end, drawing in additional shortcomings.
We regret to inform you of a violation of building code. The closet in which you have placed us is unfit for human habitation. Consequently we have removed the hinges and door, replacing them with a nice beaded curtain found in the attic; cleaning supplies are on the floor and games are on the top shelf. Also we have moved ourselves into the spare bedroom. It is none of your business what we do in there, or do not do in there. Thank you.
P.S. Buy milk. And remove the body parts from the fridge. Have you even looked in the fridge lately? Honestly. Other people live here too, you know.