Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
  • Mood: busy

Socially Awkward Situations

This is a good list of socially awkward situations.

Some thoughts for improvement:

1) If someone says they don't want to do something, and it's not an emergency, don't rag them about it.  Really.  That's obnoxious.  Respect people's boundaries, unless it's totally impossible or interferes with your own needs in some way.  If there's a boundary conflict, try to discuss it in a rational manner rather than harassing the other person.

2) If you have a hard time describing something in words, try pictures.  For the haircut example, that works great.  Salons almost always have a pile of magazines with haircut pictures.  Flip through in search of one you like or at least find tolerable.
Tags: community, family skills, networking
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  • 6 comments
lyonesse

lyonesse

April 8 2011, 00:15:05 UTC 10 years ago

wow, i only made it through the first three. but two thoughts spring to mind:

. default heterosexual male gaze, anybody?

and

. you couldn't have stopped this at the pass by choosing a yoga instructor or masseuse who didn't push your personal buttons?

i didn't even get as far as the haircut example, but the first three make me feel glad i rarely-if-ever get my hair cut :)
mdlbear

mdlbear

April 8 2011, 03:04:09 UTC 10 years ago

Ugh. Of course, cracked.com is a humor site, so the author is obviously aiming to appear funny to his target audience, of which I am clearly not a member.

The fact that I'm probably old enough to be his father may have something to do with this.

The kind of social situation I'm likely to find awkward is one where I find myself in the vicinity of somebody I'd like to get to know better, but have nothing obvious to start a conversation with. Or I'm talking with them, but have no clue about how to take the conversation to a deeper and more personal level. (The times when the other person has taken the lead have almost always worked out well, or at least not gone disastrously wrong.)
ideealisme

ideealisme

April 8 2011, 07:31:24 UTC 10 years ago

Agree with the above commenters. The (unspoken) assumption seems to be that women don't get to be socially awkward because we're...understanding, nurturing and all that stuff, and have an instinctive neurotypy that enables to us to understand rules that are written in water, are never revealed to anyone, change at any moment and are designed to exclude.

/rant :)
ysabetwordsmith

Thoughts

ysabetwordsmith

April 8 2011, 07:36:38 UTC 10 years ago

>> rules that are written in water, are never revealed to anyone, change at any moment and are designed to exclude.<<

That is way high on the list of "shit up with which I will not put." I can't stand it. I never could. People get annoyed when I tell them that. I point out that if they can't abide forthrightness and insist on diddling around with social games, all we're ever going to do is drive each other nuts and it's a lot saner just to admit that and walk away.

It's one of the things that sometimes causes people to realize, abruptly, that I'm not kidding when I say I have a masculine personality.
kayshapero

Re: Thoughts

kayshapero

April 10 2011, 23:03:43 UTC 10 years ago

Oh you don't have to be "masculine" to develop and use a working bullshit meter. One reason I took a nosedive out of mundania upon discovering science fiction fandom and have no intention of ever returning. Raised my daughter here, too. Much better society.

To be sure, the Gender Genie is Firmly Convinced I am male. Fortunately my husband knows better. :)
ysabetwordsmith

Re: Thoughts

ysabetwordsmith

April 10 2011, 23:14:09 UTC 10 years ago

>> Oh you don't have to be "masculine" to develop and use a working bullshit meter. <<

I know, but if you have a female body, mainstream people expect you to do girltalk. I have no patience with or interest in it. If I've mentioned to people that my personality leans masculine, they often don't really believe me, but that's one of the things that pops it into high visibility for them.

>>Much better society.<<

I agree.

>>To be sure, the Gender Genie is Firmly Convinced I am male. Fortunately my husband knows better.<<

The Gender Genie thinks I am male or female according to which mode I'm writing in at the time. I can do either, or others. I was pleased to see that this subjective awareness has at least some objectively identifiable features.