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Poem: "wings of paper, wings of lace" - The Wordsmith's Forge — LiveJournal
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
Poem: "wings of paper, wings of lace"

This poem came from the March 1, 2011 Poetry Fishbowl.  It was inspired by minor_architect and thesilentpoet, both of whom wanted butterflies.  Now butterflies look pretty good when folded in origami, but awesome in kirigami.  So that got me thinking of the Origami Mage and the Kirigami Mage folding butterflies together.  This poem was sponsored by marina_bonomi. To read more poems about these characters, visit the "Serial Poetry" page on my website.


wings of paper, wings of lace


origami mage
folds a flock of butterflies
fluttering flat wings

kirigami mage
cuts butterflies from rainbow
paper and lets go

origami mage
watches sun shine through the holes
delicate beauty

kirigami mage
folds and cuts their paper wings
opening, closing

origami mage
stops folding butterflies and
starts folding flowers

kirigami mage
seeks out her rival's gaze, for
the first time smiling

origami mage
folds her hands and watches her
rival's gifts take flight

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Current Mood: busy busy

37 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
aldersprig From: aldersprig Date: March 2nd, 2011 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
*giggle* nice!

eta: Man, I gotta stop doing that.

I do like the moment of "Oh. Well, then." that happens there. :-)

The poetic form is growing on me, too.


Edited at 2011-03-02 06:09 pm (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 2nd, 2011 09:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thoughts

I'm glad you like this.

>>I do like the moment of "Oh. Well, then." that happens there.<<

It takes a strong person to concede gracefully.

>>The poetic form is growing on me, too.<<

Haiku has evolved over its long history. The use of it as a verse form in longer poems has been around for a while, but has gained popularity with time.
aldersprig From: aldersprig Date: March 2nd, 2011 09:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thoughts

I'd not seen it that way before I started reading your work, but I like the way it flows.

I'm, in general, a fan of poetic forms, and I like how you use them.
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: March 2nd, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thoughts

>>Haiku has evolved over its long history. The use of it as a verse form in longer poems has been around for a while<<

True, in fact the original 'hokku' that later evolved into the relatively modern 'haiku'was the opening part of a 'tanka'
(a 5-7-5-7-7 form). Tanka were often written in collaborative 'chains' called 'renga' and the opening hokku was assigned to the 'master of ceremonies, the best poet of the group. The hokku was later taken out and developed as an original form.
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: March 2nd, 2011 06:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Beautiful! I love the change that is brought into their relationship with this poem, how perfectly in character for the Origami Mage:) and I also love how the kirigami mage is growing and changing as well.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 2nd, 2011 09:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

>> I love the change that is brought into their relationship with this poem, how perfectly in character for the Origami Mage:) and I also love how the kirigami mage is growing and changing as well.<<

Their relationship is much of the charm in this series, along with the tour of Asian cultural motifs. I like watching characters grow and change. *ponder* Which, now that I think of it, is a mainstay of some Eastern literature focusing on inner growth. So the plot arc is really about how they grow into and out of being rivals. The adventures along the way are just ... lessons on the road to enlightenment.
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: March 2nd, 2011 09:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

>>So the plot arc is really about how they grow into and out of being rivals. The adventures along the way are just ... lessons on the road to enlightenment.<<

Exactly, and I think that's also why so many people like this series. How can I put it...it has a strong ethos and a message but it isn't preachy or 'in your face'
From: angela_n_hunt Date: March 2nd, 2011 06:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eeeee!

So delightful!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 2nd, 2011 08:57 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I'm glad you like this. It was fun getting two of these in one fishbowl.
From: angela_n_hunt Date: March 2nd, 2011 09:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

I LOVE them. Love love love.
eseme From: eseme Date: March 3rd, 2011 04:52 am (UTC) (Link)
I do like seeing the change in the relationship as well. I think this is an important point in that arc.

I do thin that reading all of the Origami Mage poems in chronological order, whenever you finish the series, will be even better. It will make watching the relationship evolve (for instance, do we have the "how they met" poem?) much easier.

I could see these poems illustrated with either photos or sketches of origami and kirigami. And possibly a cover image or featured illustration of the Origami Mage discovering her talent.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 3rd, 2011 05:58 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

>>I do like seeing the change in the relationship as well. I think this is an important point in that arc. <<

Yay!

>>I do think that reading all of the Origami Mage poems in chronological order, whenever you finish the series, will be even better.<<

Yyyyeah ... that's more of a challenge. First, I often get inspiration out of sequence. Second, I'm getting some of my inspiration from other folks in these serial poems. Third, while I speak of "plot arcs" or "storylines" this series actually follows a spiral path, a traditional approach in Eastern literature (not the only one, but very popular). That's why certain motifs repeat. So I am really guessing with that order on the "Serial Poetry" page. When I get ready to assemble the manuscript in book form, I'll probably print them all out and shuffle them around to try different arrangements.

>>It will make watching the relationship evolve (for instance, do we have the "how they met" poem?) much easier.<<

Not yet. I suspect that they met at school.

>>I could see these poems illustrated with either photos or sketches of origami and kirigami. And possibly a cover image or featured illustration of the Origami Mage discovering her talent.<<

Ah, now there is an idea! I hadn't thought of photo-illustration. Conveniently, the publisher interested in this series, angela_n_hunt, happens to be a photographer. So is my_partner_doug and he's even an origami folder. We could certainly experiment with this.

I've been thinking it would be interesting to do a sort of bipolar cover, either half-and-half or front-and-back, perhaps with the two women, or with one origami fold and one kirigami fold. (Unlike some people, I'm not afraid to put an Asian model on a book cover.) We need something that will really pop, and there is just so much rich imagery here to play around with.
siege From: siege Date: March 6th, 2011 02:43 am (UTC) (Link)
One folds a bow, with
String taut and ready to pluck
Where is the arrow?

The empty quiver
Receives a whistle arrow
Shaped with but one cut

Drawn is twisted string
Flies the arrow, far and high
Loud the mouth makes song

Swiftly, rescue comes.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: March 6th, 2011 05:38 am (UTC) (Link)

Yay!

This is lovely. Thanks for sharing.
siege From: siege Date: March 6th, 2011 05:43 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yay!

*bows*
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