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Poem: "unfolding wings" - The Wordsmith's Forge — LiveJournal
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
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ysabetwordsmith
Poem: "unfolding wings"

marina_bonomi asked for a poem about the origami mage and a blind beggar.  This one is a likely candidate for the beginning of the story arc.  I wish I could draw ... it would make an adorable illustration.  Sponsored by marina_bonomi.

[EDIT 2/9/11: marina_bonomi helped with the coin research, yesterday's result having been imperfect. So tael has been replaced by wen. I was aiming for a small-denomination coin, and Chinese money has a deep and intricate history. People would carry "strings of cash" with the cheap, square-holed coins threaded onto twine.]

EDIT 4/12/11: See an adorable sketch of this scene drawn by meeksp as part of her crowdfunded illustration project.


unfolding wings


the blind beggar sits
on a sunny street corner
folding paper cranes

two wen  will buy one
to take up to the temple
and leave with a prayer

a little girl stops
to watch the old man working
what seems like magic

she tugs mother's sleeve
the string is untied, coins freed
and given over

in her tiny hands
paper crane opens white wings
and bursts into flight

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Current Mood: busy busy

20 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: February 8th, 2011 10:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oooh, yes! This °is° the beginning.
I'd love to submit it as a prompt in the next sketchfest, or maybe to djinni, what do you think?
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 8th, 2011 10:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hmm...

I'd say put it in the sketch fest. The best views would be either the girl approaching the beggar, or the paper crane in her hands starting to transform. Neither would work well at icon size.

One of these days I need to ask djinni if he takes commissions for larger illustrations. His work is lovely and well matched to the character, plus of course he did the original canon portraits in a Free Icon Day.
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: February 8th, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Hmm...

Djinni does take commissions for bigger works, that's why I thought of him :), icon-size would really be too small in this case.
aldersprig From: aldersprig Date: February 8th, 2011 11:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Hmm...

I was thinking of djinni, too. :-)

This makes beautiful pictures in the mind.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 9th, 2011 08:15 am (UTC) (Link)

Ooo...

I am happy to hear that!
tuftears From: tuftears Date: February 8th, 2011 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Indeed, it would make a lovely little illustration. ^_^
From: angela_n_hunt Date: February 8th, 2011 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
OH!!!

This is perfect!

ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 9th, 2011 05:31 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

Today's fishbowl is going swimmingly. I'm glad you like this poem.
From: angela_n_hunt Date: February 9th, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

It really is!
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 9th, 2011 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

Yeah, I broke my record for fishbowl poems written in a day. So far there are 6 posted.
From: angela_n_hunt Date: February 9th, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

That's great!!!

And I haven't forgotten about wanting to publish a whole book of Origami Mage poems. Just getting my ducks in to a row.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 9th, 2011 09:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

>>And I haven't forgotten about wanting to publish a whole book of Origami Mage poems. Just getting my ducks in to a row.<<

Yeah, I'm keeping an eye on this project also. You'll want to read "unfolding wings" from this month's fishbowl:
http://ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com/1540390.html
It's likely to wind up as the first poem in the collection.

marina_bonomi and I are eyeing djinni as a possible artist. marina_bonomi says that he does commissions on larger work, not just the Free Icon Day miniatures.
From: angela_n_hunt Date: February 9th, 2011 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

Oooooo!

That would be lovely.
asakiyume From: asakiyume Date: February 8th, 2011 11:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very nice!
eseme From: eseme Date: February 8th, 2011 11:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh yes!

How lovely. And she has been compasionate from the start. I do love the origami mage.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 9th, 2011 08:03 am (UTC) (Link)

Yay!

I'm glad you like this one. Yes, she's always been sweet.
laffingkat From: laffingkat Date: February 9th, 2011 02:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, yes! I wasn't expecting you to take the story so far back, but this is perfect! And it would be lovely to see it illustrated.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 9th, 2011 03:07 am (UTC) (Link)

Well...

I often don't know where a story arc will begin or end. I frequently write things out of sequence, and then have to figure out how to put the bits in order.

I'm glad you enjoyed this poem!
siege From: siege Date: February 9th, 2011 04:45 am (UTC) (Link)
These simple verses
Bless your readers
And Wonder opens the heart
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: February 9th, 2011 05:13 am (UTC) (Link)

Aww...

That's so sweet. Thank you!
20 comments or Leave a comment