busyConversely, consider all the allegations that queer people want "special privileges." No, they don't. They just want access to the baseline: ordinary things like getting married, adopting a child, being able to visit someone in the hospital, filing a joint tax return. Now if they said, "Queer people should get first choice of children available for adoption, THAT would be a privilege.
A healthy society has a pretty smooth functionality most of the time. Its members are able to carry out ordinary activities without interference. Following the rules will lead to success for most people, and it's an option open to everyone. Failing out of a healthy society requires a lot of dedicated screwing up and refusing the helpful options available; you can still do it, but not many people do. And because most people's needs are pretty well met, there is a lot less incentive to stomp down other people in attempt to prop yourself up.
America doesn't have a healthy society. Our baseline is ... fishnet. If you're a straight white educated employed Christian man, you can generally get through life without people trying to screw you over because they find some aspect of your life displeasing. If you're queer, a person of color, don't have a college degree, can't get a job, follow some other (or no) religion, are other than male, are very young or old, are unconventional in some way -- then society frequently considers it okay to deprive you of basic courtesies, interfere with your happiness and/or survival, infringe on your rights, ruin your life, and then blame you for the mess that results. That's stupid and destructive and it needs to stop. It's not just about this group or that group. It's not about privileges or special snowflakes.
It is about treating every human being with respect and providing everyone a chance to make meaningful contributions in exchange for getting their basic needs (and preferably some of their desires) met. That's the baseline. Be decent to each other. Get the job done.
July 28 2010, 11:03:07 UTC 10 years ago
I DO use the term "white privilege", but I understand it to mean, "for the most part, people are likely to treat me the way that, in general, people ought to be treated." If a police officer comes up to me, I pretty much can assume that the officer is willing to listen to what I have to say, and isn't going to just throw me in jail on general principles. If I go to a job interview, I'm likely to get the job if I'm better than the other candidates, and not get it if I'm not. Mostly, if I have an idea, people will listen to it and decide if it's a good idea or not.
As a heterosexual white male, most of society mostly gives me the fair shake that everybody deserves.
And, yeah. That ought to be the baseline.
To me, using the word "privilege" in that situation is something of a bitter irony. But I use it because I want to always be aware of that bitter irony -- that being treated at the baseline level of decency is a "privilege" in this society that most people don't share.
Hmm...
July 28 2010, 16:43:26 UTC 10 years ago
I suppose that's a fair use, too.
Belonging to a favored class does mean that, if you consider the baseline something that should apply to everyone, you have to pay attention to how you treat other people and how they treat each other. That position makes it a lot harder to spot some things: because they don't apply to you, your chance of seeing them in action is much lower.
July 31 2010, 00:59:19 UTC 10 years ago Edited: July 31 2010, 01:02:14 UTC
yeah, that ought to be the baseline, but it's not.
ETA: I have had a man, visiting in my own house, berate me because he said I was not sufficiently respectful of him- and this was in a business (small) setting, and *I* was one of the company's founders, and *he* was not- and yet, he felt that it was OK to take me to task for not using "appropriate" body language, in my own house, in my own company, to defer to HIM.
THAT is privilege.
Well...
July 31 2010, 02:23:52 UTC 10 years ago
That doesn't happen to me often. When it does, well, most men will quit doing it after the third or fourth round of, "Dude, that was MY idea. Get your own." They usually find it embarrassing and looking for a more obliging victim.
>>take me to task for not using "appropriate" body language, in my own house, in my own company, to defer to HIM.<<
I have to admit, at that point I would probably have lost my professional bearing and mocked his penis.
Re: Well...
July 31 2010, 02:32:52 UTC 10 years ago
In the second instance, I pretty much went ballistic. And i made it clear to my husband that this asshole was no longer welcome in my home, because he was not willing to treat me with basic courtesy.
And i should have also mocked his penis. :D