Elizabeth Barrette (ysabetwordsmith) wrote,
Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
  • Mood: busy

Thoughts on Conversation

haikujaguar shared two good links:
"Conversation"
"Active Listening"

However, I note this piece of flawed advice:
Also as a general rule, conversations about how people have or will interact are interesting, and conversations about objects are dull. So steer toward topics that involve human perceptions and feelings, and away from objects and things.
This is a matter of taste!  Some people prefer to discuss human interactions; other people prefer to discuss objects and abstract ideas.  (Based on my observations, women are more likely to favor interactions while men are more likely to favor objects, but this is not absolute.)  Plenty of people like some of each, but are interested or disinterested in particular categories of interaction and objects.  The key to a good conversation is to understand what the other person finds interesting.  If there is no overlap between the two of you, then you should stick to practicalities or you will just frustrate each other. 

My go-to source for communication is still Suzette Haden Elgin's The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense.
Tags: community, family skills, linguistics, networking
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  • 3 comments

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ysabetwordsmith

Yes...

ysabetwordsmith

July 26 2010, 20:12:10 UTC 10 years ago

>>Having conversations with someone you've lived with for twenty years can mean a lot of repetition. But I've found that if you look at the person speaking and see how it still interests them, how this is what excites, you can still enjoy and participate in conversation.<<

Another aspect is that not all conversations are about entertainment or information. Sometimes it's just a need to keep the airwaves vibrating, like if you're driving late at night and need to stay awake. That happens a lot more in long-term relationships where you spend a lot of time together.