Poem: "High Fantasy (not necessarily in that order)"

Today's first freebie poem comes from prompts by ellenmillion and miintikwa.

The year the dragonbane bloomed,
everyone discovered why
too much of a good thing is not such a good thing.

First came the plague of lizards.
Small green lizards.
Larger brown lizards.
Tiny black-and-white striped lizards
with ridiculous bright blue tails.
They rolled in the pollen, got lost,
wandered into the village,
and passed out in people's houses.
Needless to say, the goodwives were not amused.

The Wizard Twins were shooed out of the tower
by their mistress, who was fresh out of lizard's leg.
"And while you're at it," she said, "keep an eye out
for news, frogs, adders, and blindworms."

Then came the basilisks.
Fortunately, once they passed out,
their eyes closed and they were safe to handle.
Unfortunately, they got horny long before then,
which is how the village of Stonehen
got its name.

"Well," said Arek, "at least now
we're fighting evil like we should be."
"They don't look very evil at the moment,"
said Kera, looking at the basilisk
snoring in her basket.
"Say ... isn't Rory still trying
to make it as a sculptor?" said Arek.
"Yes, but he still sucks," said Kera. 
"Do you think a basilisk can be trained?"
"That's Rory's problem," said Arek.

Then the dragons came down from the peaks
and got themselves mightily stoned.
Arek and Kera ran to fetch their mistress.
"Go deal with it, dears, I'm busy,"
she said, leaving them to their own devices.

Nervously the Wizard Twins crept into the field.
Instantly a draycock pounced on Kera
and licked her with a long sandpaper tongue.
"Yuck!  Not a virgin!" he said.
Then he licked her again.  "Yuck!  Still not a virgin!"
"Dad's gonna kill you -- and Burt," said Arek.
"I borrowed Mom's armor," whispered Kera.

Just then a drayhen began stalking Arek.
"Yummy virgin," she said.
"Yes!" shouted Kera.  "Follow the yummy virgin!"
"Now I'm  going to kill you," said Arek.
"Nah, you'll be too busy running for your virtue,"
said Kera as the drayhens converged.
Even the draycocks joined the chase,
enticed by the cries of "Yummy virgin!"
Arek and Kera led them to the cliff over the lake,
and all the dragons fell right in.
That sobered them up enough to fly home.

"You know," said Arek, as they walked back,
"this must be some pretty good shit."
"Doesn't seem to be affecting us, though," said Kera.
"Maybe if we tried smoking it or something..."
Arek mused thoughtfully.

That was how the Wizard Twins discovered
what dragonbane does to wizards in general
and magic in particular
and that was how the village of Stonehen
wound up with a psychedelic fountain,
a herd of paisley sheep,
and an intermittent tendency to rain up ...

and that was the last their mistress
sent them on assignment by themselves
for a very long time.