Thanks to a donation from Anthony & Shirley Barrette, you can now read the rest of "Essential for Human Survival."  Cassandra and Groundhog enjoy some crafts and cuddles.

Tags: crafts, cyberfunded creativity, family skills, fantasy, fishbowl, life lessons, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
Current Mood: busy

After writing the post about coping with grief, I got to thinking about how Terramagne-America handles this sort of thing. As with many social aspects, they do it better. One thing I had spotted in passing earlier was the use of followup calls after bereavement, and questionnaires to identify people who would welcome such contact. That sounded really useful, so I found one and wrote it down. This is typical of handouts available at funeral parlors, hospitals, counseling centers, and other places where people may interact with death and mourning. It can also be used for self-assessment; although that approach doesn't provide the same level of support, it can still illuminate what is happening in your grief process.

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Tags: community, family skills, how to, life lessons, safety
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This poem came out of the April 5, 2016 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from technoshaman for The Magp'cat Duchess of Filkhaven, capriuni, and ari_the_dodecahedron. It also fills the "gentle monster" square in my 4-1-16 card for the Archetypal Bingo fest. This poem has been selected in an audience poll as the free epic for the June 6, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl reaching the $200 goal. It belongs to the series A Conflagration of Dragons.

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Tags: cyberfunded creativity, fantasy, poem, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
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Death poses challenges to the survivors. Let's take a look at some of those and ways of handling them. A friend asked me about this recently, so I gathered some resources ...

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Tags: how to, safety, spirituality

Used to be, good advice for this sort of thing was easy to find. Now the clinical advice is increasingly bad, according to my lived experience and observation of other people. What's worse, all kinds of advice in books, online, and from experts is now conflicting with each other. So here is a discussion of first aid for scrapes and cuts.  It is based on awareness of how science works, rather than a medical profession.  Use your judgment accordingly.

( Read more...Collapse ) notes: "Having been undergoing fortnightly debridement and associated home wound care for over 2 years now I have learned to love 2% lidocane gel. I have determined that the household will not be without it. The brand I've been using is MPM Regenecare, same as used in the wound care office I go to, and it is available OTC. Also helps in cases of "picking the gravel out of road rash"!"

* For someone who tends to pick at injuries, it may be best to cover all of them completely, even if it wouldn't otherwise be necessary.  If the wound needs air, you can always use a breathable bandaid or gauze.  Picking tends to increase the risk of infection and scarring. (from mashfanficchick)


Spectrum of Injury

Amount of blood and pain do not always correlate to severity, although they do give some idea. Most scrapes, unless deep, don't bleed much; but certain areas, such as the head, bleed more. Although typically shallow, scrapes tend to be quite painful because the wide surface area exposes many nerve endings. However, severe abrasions may destroy so many nerves that the injury doesn't register much pain. Assess the whole injury carefully before making a plan.

Abrasions are similar to burns in regard to some aspects of skin destruction, and in fact the two injury types can overlap in some cases such as road rash. Abrasions may be described as first, second, or third degree depending on how deeply they damage the skin. They may also be rated minor, moderate, or major based on size and other factors.


Here is a look at the range of damage commonly seen in abrasions:

* Clean scrapes that don't bleed, like when you bump your knee under long pants. The top layer of skin comes off but that's all. Rinse with water, soap if you want some, and put lotion or cream on it to soothe the skin. It typically doesn't need antibiotic or a bandage, unless you're prone to infections.

* Ordinary scrapes that ooze blood but have no visible debris and you didn't fall on anything filthy. Clean with water and mild soap, or a gentle wound rinse kind of antiseptic. I like Bactine, YMMV. Do check for grit that might have been hidden by blood at first. Top with your preferred first aid cream. I resent people dropping the original, which was a great product, and now there's nothing like it and ointments are NOT a synonym. Some people like triple-antibiotic ointments for scrapes, but I tend to reserve those for injuries that look prone to infection.

* Messy scrapes that bleed freely and have some debris. Wash thoroughly in stages, using water and mild soap or antiseptic. By this point I am usually using alcohol or surgical disinfectant, because if I don't, I find that this type of injury tends to get infected. Remove as much grit as you can gently, but if you can't get it out gently, either be more assertive yourself or seek expert help. Be really careful with these injuries because it is easy to miss grit, and if you do, infection is almost guaranteed. Top with a good antibiotic cream or ointment, or a dressing that has similar effect -- the hydrogels are very good at suppressing infections and aiding recovery.

* Really ugly abrasions like road rash and/or you fell on something filthy. Clean in stages as described above, but most people don't have the skill (or stomach) to handle these at home. A good first aid tent or emergency room comes with pain control for the unpleasant cleaning process! There they will use potent cleaners and scrub/pick vigorously, not just to remove debris but also skin damaged badly enough that it's going to die. This process is called debridement, and has various options. That means if you're doing this at home, you also need medical scissors to snip off ragged ends. 0_o Top with hydrogel if at all possible; that seems to be widely acclaimed as the current best practice for severe abrasions.

* Deep abrasions with traumatic tattooing drive particles far into the flesh.  If not removed, this debris not only causes infection but also leaves permanent tattoo-like marks in the skin.  Aggressive treatment by a professional is required for adequate cleaning.  That means numbing the skin and then scrubbing it vigorously with surgical brushes and surgical soap.  That will undoubtedly traumatize the flesh further, but gentle cleaning will not suffice for extreme cases and this is better than what happens if you leave a serious abrasion untreated.  Various aftercare options are available to help the skin heal, but this type of extreme damage sometimes requires surgical intervention.  If you cannot reach a medic quickly -- which often happens in wilderness injuries -- then clean as best you can using the steps described above for messy and ugly abrasions.


Time to see an expert if at all feasible:

* Any skin damage bigger than about hand size, which is roughly 1% of your body mass. If assessing someone else, their hand is more accurate as a gauge of their body surface area, but they may not be willing or able to loan it to you whereas your own hands are usually available. People who routinely scuff large parts of their bodies may wish to set their own threshold higher or lower than this after observing how well they heal.

* Abrasions on delicate areas like the face or genitals.

* Abrasions that cover enough of a joint so you are worried about impeding motion. This means a tiny but nasty scrape may impair your finger knuckle, while it would take considerably more to affect your knee.

* There is debris and you can't get it all out or aren't sure if you did. Any remaining particles may cause traumatic tattooing, which is worse with dark grit under pale skin.

* The abrasion doesn't hold its shape, related cuts won't stay closed, chunks of skin are actually missing, you can see fat or bone, bleeding won't stop after 10-20 minutes, any other sign the damage is deep or severe, etc.

* You fell on something filthy and haven't had a tetanus booster recently.

Balance the amount of damage against your personal first aid skills, how well your body heals, and the quality of available health care. Do you routinely collect scrapes, have complicating conditions, or treat someone else who does? If so, think about more advanced training than the rinse-and-wrap covered in basic first aid. Wilderness and sport classes are worth considering. Bikers (motorcycle or mountain/dirt bike) often have specialized training for crash care, which is an excellent place to learn about fixing bad abrasions such as road rash.


Medium of Skin Products

First aid supplies come in a variety of formats. There is some overlap in what they treat, but they are NOT all interchangeable. I wrote a whole article on this topic once. Here's a thumbnail:

Spray is a liquid, often based in alcohol or water. There are some oil-based sprays but that's usually for things like bug repellent rather than skin care. Many wound rinses have antiseptic and analgesic ingredients in a bottle meant for spritzing or squirting over injuries. Plain water or irrigation saline solution may also work.

Lotion has more water than fat. It is light and gentle, easily spreading a long way. It doesn't clog up the skin. You can find a few varieties with antiseptic or antibiotic ingredients; they're not common and not a great idea for routine use, but help some rashes. Lotion soaks in rapidly and shouldn't leave the skin sticky, so it doesn't require a bandage. Many tattoo artists therefore prefer lotion or very light cream to heavier products for tending fresh ink, and that makes tattoo lotion a good choice for minor abrasions. Some of my well-inked friends have abandoned other first aid creams in favor of whatever their artist got them hooked on, and now that's what they put in their first aid kits.

Cream may have slightly more water than fat or about the same, and this is where waxes begin to appear as stiffening agents. Cream can be quite soft, just thick enough to stick on your finger, or stiff enough to stand up a bit if swept into peaks. It is gentle and very nourishing to skin, yet it can carry a mild to moderate dose of medication. It tends not to clog skin too much, but be a little careful if yours is prone to that. Cream is great for most scrapes and other minor injuries. A little will soak in, but a lot needs a bandages. Unfortunately this has become difficult to find as the market switched to ointments.

Salve or ointment is a thick, greasy material with more fat than water and uses wax to moderate texture. These tend to get very stiff and cold weather and may get runny in hot weather. They're prone to clogging the skin, worst of all if based in mineral oil and/or petroleum jelly; natural bases aren't quite as bad. They're also more uncomfortable to rub over injured skin and don't spread as far. However, they can carry a high dose of antibiotics or other medications which will then stay exactly where it is put. Salve may be useful for messy or dirty injuries where less assertive treatments might not be enough. It requires a bandage because it doesn't soak in much, and in fact, a thick coating of ointment is often used to keep bandages from sticking to a wound.

Balm is a semisolid stick that uses a lot of fat and wax to hold its shape, and a good one won't melt on you in summer. They carry medication moderately well. The stiff texture means it will go a very long way over minimally broken skin, which makes it ideal for the shallowest scrapes or scratches that bleed little if any. The same features make it unfeasible for use on messy scrapes -- it hurts like hell and doesn't adhere properly. My go-to item for scratches is a balm stick with tea tree and lavender essential oils as the active ingredients, and it makes a downright dramatic difference in how well they heal. Plus a balm stick leaves a thin film that absorbs well and doesn't get gunk everywhere or require a bandage. Rinse, swipe, and ignore.

>>Strangely we've found that leaving wounds mostly alone, ie not covering them after a day or so, works a lot better for healing than the "keep covered until healed" advice that people've usually seen.<<

Always prioritize your lived experience over other people's advice. Advice is good, science is good, but bodies aren't identical. I don't cover my dings unless they are messy or in an area I'll bump or rub against things. But I definitely notice they heal better if cleaned and treated with something. My favorite for scratches and shallow scrapes is actually a balm stick with tea tree and lavender.</div>

Tags: how to, safety, science
Current Mood: busy

This poem was commissioned by dialecticdreamer. It also fills the "Farce" square in my 4-19-16 card for the genprompt_bingo fest. It belongs to the Damask thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

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Tags: cyberfunded creativity, family skills, fantasy, poem, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
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... would a hospital make a McDonald's its adjunct restaurant.  Think about all the times doctors nag people to eat better and lose weight, and all the people who can't  eat McDonald's due to special dietary needs.  I am just boggled by the loss of opportunity, because this shit is routine in L-American "health care" -- they push people around, but refuse to lift a finger to help.  Hospital food is almost universally slop of exactly the kind they tell people not to eat, and the cafeterias or adjunct restaurants are barely better.  What they should be doing is serving delicious well-balanced meals to show  people how that works, and then doctors should eat that in public, because humans are prone to imitative behavior.  I've read about outliers having an organic restaurant, but in terms of access, that's still a unicorn hunt.  But McDonald's?  Really?  WTF.

Fortunately someone working there does NOT have their head up their ass, and has started a petition to replace it with a restaurant serving healthy food.

Tags: activism, food, networking, safety
Current Mood: frustrated

This poem is from the June 6, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was prompted and sponsored by Shirley Barrette.

WARNING: This poem is all about child molestation by clergy.

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Tags: cyberfunded creativity, gender studies, poem, poetry, reading, safety, spirituality, weblit, writing
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 Read "Unexpected Choices" by dialecticdreamer.  Drew's visit to the imam gets complicated by another visitor.

Tags: cyberfunded creativity, family skills, fantasy, fiction, networking, reading, safety, spirituality, weblit
Current Mood: busy

This is today's freebie, inspired by several folks including beasts_of_homeworld. It also fills the "Crazy" square in my 2-1-17 (Love Songs) card for the Valentines Bingo fest.

Warning: This poem incorporates concepts and descriptions from people with various mental issues. Not everyone may feel comfortable with the same terms or choices.

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Tags: activism, cyberfunded creativity, family skills, fishbowl, free stuff, poem, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
Current Mood: busy

This is an advance announcement for the Tuesday, June 6, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. This time the theme will be "Poke ALL the bigots in the eye." I'll be soliciting ideas for bigots, victims, upstanders, the misunderstood, outcasts, nemeses, bullies, abusers, oppressors, slavers, psycho bosses, troubled relationships, supervillains, superheroes, activists, poking a bigot in the eye, fleeing in terror, picking on people, resisting oppression, facing your demons, feeding the right wolf, protesting, lunch counters, bars, schools, government buildings, the Oval Office, dark alleys, oceans, liminal zones, mad science labs, The Tower, battlegrounds, graveyards, other places of power, internalized oppression, bigotry, racism, other isms that should be wasms, manifestos, identity literature, picket signs, unusual vulnerabilities, radical transformation, the unspeakable, the inescapable, the indestructable, the nature of humanity (or lack thereof), hubris, and poetic forms in particular.

I have a linkback poem, "We Will Fade into You" (11 verses, standalone). 

If you're interested, mark the date on your calendar, and please hold actual prompts until the "Poetry Fishbowl Open" post next week.  (If you're not available that day, or you live in a time zone that makes it hard to reach me, you can leave advance prompts.  I am now.)  Meanwhile, if you want to help with promotion, please feel free to link back here or repost this on your blog. 

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Tags: activism, cyberfunded creativity, fishbowl, life lessons, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
Current Mood: busy

This is an advance announcement for the Tuesday, June 6, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. This time the theme will be "Poke ALL the bigots in the eye." I'll be soliciting ideas for bigots, victims, upstanders, ordinary people, the women that men don't see, QUILTBAG folks, people of color, the misunderstood, outcasts, nemeses, bullies, abusers, oppressors, slavers, psycho bosses, troubled relationships, supervillains, superheroes, activists, poking a bigot in the eye, fleeing in terror, picking on people, resisting oppression, speaking truth to power, upsetting applecarts, facing your demons, feeding the right wolf, punching up, protesting, lunch counters, bars, reservations, slums, schools, playgrounds, counseling offices, government buildings, the Oval Office, dark alleys, oceans, liminal zones, mad science labs, The Tower, battlegrounds, graveyards, other places of power, internalized oppression, bigotry, racism, other isms that should be wasms, manifestos, identity literature, picket signs, disruptions, unusual vulnerabilities, minority languages, history written by the losers, radical transformation, the unspeakable, the inescapable, the indestructible, the nature of humanity (or lack thereof), hubris, and poetic forms in particular.

I have a linkback poem, "We Will Fade into You" (11 verses, standalone). 

If you're interested, mark the date on your calendar, and please hold actual prompts until the "Poetry Fishbowl Open" post next week.  (If you're not available that day, or you live in a time zone that makes it hard to reach me, you can leave advance prompts.  I am now.)  Meanwhile, if you want to help with promotion, please feel free to link back here or repost this on your blog. 
 

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Tags: activism, cyberfunded creativity, fishbowl, life lessons, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
Current Mood: busy

 I found this awesome page describing the needs of introverts in the office and showcasing various facilities for their use.

Tags: networking, safety
Current Mood: busy

This poem is spillover from the January 3, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from chanter_greenie. It also fills the "sensory" square in my 1-1-17 card for the Dark Fantasy fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Danso and Family thread of the Polychrome Heroics series.

Note: This poem features detailed description of beginning sensory therapy for a toddler. It's almost entirely a positive experience for Nathaniel, but readers with sensory issues and/or crappy experiences of therapy may wish to consider their tastes and headspace before reading onward.

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Tags: cyberfunded creativity, education, family skills, fantasy, fishbowl, poem, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
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Based on an audience poll, there are 5 new verses in "Essential for Human Survival."  The Kwan Yin House of Compassion can accommodate a surprisingly wide range of needs.

Tags: cyberfunded creativity, fantasy, fishbowl, poetry, reading, safety, weblit, writing
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This poem is spillover from the April 4, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from Anthony Barrette. It also fills the "Too Close" square in my 2-1-17 Love Songs card for the Valentines Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette.

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Tags: cyberfunded creativity, economics, environment, fishbowl, life lessons, nature, poem, poetry, politics, reading, safety, weblit, writing
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kyleri is working on a recipe for iron rations, and would like input on alternatives to ingredients, so it can be made free of allergens. 

Tags: food, networking, recipe, safety
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Someone asked me how to help an online friend through a difficult time. All the advice, of course, is aimed at helping friends in meatspace. Considering how many of us have online intimates, this is not helpful. Here is my effort to fill that gap.

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One of the most famous psychological tests is the Rorschach or inkblot test.  It's very controversial, with some people arguing it's pseudoscience and others saying it gives valuable insights.  Actually, they're both right.  It has no objective basis in that different people will score the same response in different ways, and that's before  accounting for cultural differences. However, any kind of symbolic material can serve as inspiration for useful conversations.  The problem comes when someone makes binding decisions based on these test results -- that  is the pseudoscience.  It penalizes people for not doing what someone else wanted.

I've been watching this for a long time, and finally found where someone scanned the images online.  Previously you could only find vague replicas.  This page has the full-color cards along with instructions on what the tester wants to hear.  Some of its observations (sexual imagery will get you in trouble, positive interpretations score better than negative ones) apply across many psychological tests.  By memorizing these, you now have two options: tell a tester you're already familiar with the test, which invalidates this and most other psych tests; or cheat on it by telling them what the handbook says everyone should see (or whatever other image you may wish to project).  That's very useful if, as is often the case, the test is being used against you and against your will.  (It's commonly used in contentious legal cases such as divorce or abuse, and sometimes in employment.)  In particular, note that this article highlights the type of lying ubiquitous throughout psych tests: falsely telling someone they can "do anything" or "it doesn't matter" when in fact everything is being scored and difference from the center of the bell curve is heavily penalized.  You really can't rely on anything they say unless you have read the instructions and scoring rubric (if there even is one) for yourself.

However, if you have a psychotherapist you like -- and you really need someone with a high level of experience for this, most counselors won't be able to follow it -- then you can get into awesomely deep territory by discussing symbolism back and forth.  Rorschach cards are great for this kind of exercise.  But so are most types of abstract art, and any kind of symbolic art such as Tarot cards.  If you study the symbolism of colors, shapes, etc. across cultures then it becomes even more illuminating.  Dream dictionaries are great for this because they give you a ton of ideas what things could  mean. You just have to account for the fact that symbolism always includes both a universal and an individual aspect.  Butterflies always have an element of transformation due to their metamorphic biology, but to an individual they might be very sad due to seeing butterflies at a grandparent's funeral.  Plus when you look at the different possible meanings, you can gain insights into how other people think, or spot parallels among several related symbols.  One Tarot card may have 12 possible meanings, but if three other cards all have one overlapping interpretation, that's the one active in this reading. Some branches of psychotherapy are really into this symbolic stuff, and it's ideal for handling some types of problem that don't lend themselves well to logic.  Or just for fun.

Tags: art, fantasy, how to, networking, safety, science
Current Mood: busy

Someone asked me about emotional first aid for adults, so here are some ideas about increasing access to that ...

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Tags: family skills, how to, life lessons, safety
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