The Wordsmith's Forge

01:10 am February 7th, 2008

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			The Wordsmith's Forge - Poem: The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette

ysabetwordsmith


	Poem:
	I wrote this poem about haikujaguar's Jokka. The anadi believe that whispering their memories into a perfect seashell will preserve them, and that image stuck in my mind. I call the form a "nautilus verse," because each couplet has one more syllable than the previous couplet. It grows on itself like the chambers of a spiral shell. Birthwell Lullaby Free Me Of this Cruel kiss: Fading dreams, Drying streams; In labor’s stress, Forgetfulness. Take what I recall Joys and griefs and all. My ocean in a shell, I know your voice so well: Just an echo in my ear, To my touch you are not here. Pour out a wealth of memories Kept safe and sound … return them, please, When my womb is empty and I find Room again for thought and peace of mind. Then back you go to your own hidden drawer Until, unless, I need your aid once more. Do I ask so much, to know my children’s names, Not to lose them like thin branches in the flames? You who have been my only hope, my truest friend … I pray you help me hold my wits to my life’s end. Tags: art, fantasy, poem Current Mood: busy

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	Comments

From: (Anonymous)	Date: February 8th, 2008 02:43 am (UTC)		(Link)

I really like your idea here.... sort of a nifty variation on a concrete poem. Nicely done....

BB,
Moonwriter

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	From: the_7th_guest	Date: February 8th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Very lovely! I like the whole nautical theme you have going ;)

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	From: haikujaguar	Date: February 9th, 2008 01:21 am (UTC)		(Link)

This one always pierces my heart. I didn't have a chance to link it yet... I'll wait until tomorrow so I don't over-post today and risk people skimming it. :)

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	From: ysabetwordsmith	Date: February 9th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)		(Link)

I'm glad you appreciate it! Thanks in advance for the link, too.

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	From: endlessland	Date: February 10th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)		(Link)

O-oh my goodness. I can't overstate how much I'm in love with this poem! The meter, the words, the concept...I thought I couldn't adore the Jokku more, but you proved otherwise.

Thank you for your art. :)

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	From: ysabetwordsmith	Date: February 11th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)		(Link)

*bow, flourish* Happy to be of service.

One of the things I really love about the Nautilus form is that the meter changes as the poem progresses. You can see how that plays out, if you mark the stresses. Some of the later couplets are rougher -- it's not easy to keep a perfectly smooth flow on some syllable counts -- but the piece as a whole really does spiral around itself like a shell. I'm pleased with how that works. I also like the challenge inherent to writing evolving verses. *chuckle* It's like the poet's equivalent of the hammered-dulcimer game of playing each verse faster and faster.

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	From: endlessland	Date: February 11th, 2008 02:43 am (UTC)		(Link)

Indeed!

I've always loved dabbling in informal poetry myself, and tried various methods to no avail - I have a mild cognitive disorder that gives me trouble with vocabulary recall, but the Nautilus form sounds like something I might be able to do. Thanks for the ideas!

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	From: ysabetwordsmith	Date: February 11th, 2008 03:03 am (UTC)		(Link)

Any form that gives you a prompt should help, then -- and forms that work well with simple, everyday words will also suit you. Many Japanese forms, such as haiku and tanka, rely on describing moments of insight or beautiful images in nature. A sestina uses six words as line ends and changes the order in each stanza. An acrostic poem spells a word or phrase down its left margin, with each letter cuing the first word in that line.

By all means, try a Nautilus verse if you want to.

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	From: archangelbeth	Date: February 10th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*shiver*

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User: ysabetwordsmith Name: Elizabeth Barrette Website: PenUltimate Productions Website

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"The Wordsmith's Forge" showcases the writing, editing, and other projects of Elizabeth Barrette. It also serves as a virtual living room for the discussion of diverse topics. Please pull up a cushion and join in.